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Ok...so I lied...

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Old 07-23-2008, 04:45 PM   #1
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Exclamation Ok...so I lied...

Alright, been struggling really hard mentally for the past month or so , so am going to get this all down and see if I can get any help on straightening myself out. Been working out since November and have lost almost 80 pounds... at first of course it came off easily and I was more or less following my diet plan ( that i posted somewhere earlier, about a month ago in excersice) but then when i hit my plateau at 60/70 I got off... I figured the numbers not moving I must eat less... that didn't help so I added more excersice and all that did was REALLY wipe me out and a stern lecture from my friend/trainer that I've known a while. She ( and the others at the gym agree) that I need to eat MORE... I can't do it. Honestly, I have tried to but it feels so wrong. What I've done to compensate is instead of adding more protien and carbs in each of the 6 meals she says i should be having, is run to wendys or burger king for a grilled chicken sandwich (which is about 650 cal.) so now my new diet is a cup of oatmeal and maybe a apple or banana, or raisin bran and skim milk for breakfast, BK or such for lunch because im at work and figuring it'll make up for the 3 meals im skipping, and then a homemade chicken sandwich (about 200cal.) or something from the diet plan ( which averages 200 cal.- chkn sndwch is what i usually choose) for dinner... but sometimes I skip eating... like yesterday I did "pump" which is an all body weightlifting class at the gym @ 5am, got a flat tire there and so stayed till 9am and did the cycling class then was at work at 11 ( though i did grab a chicken and veggie wrap from subway) but was wondering why during a dental I felt like I was foggy headed... I even almost dropped my half of the dog on the way to recovery! I know it's not healthy but I don't know how to stop now... About a month ago I "forgot" and went two days with nothing and excersicing like I usually do and fell over at home and now have a scar up my arm where I hit the end table. I don't know how to fix this, I feel horribly guilty if I eat and know I SHOULD but I can't... everytime I try and talk to Jess ( my trainer and friend) I get a lecture almost and I dont think she really knows what im going through... yeah she used to be "heavy" she was 180lbs, now she's 180 of all muscle and does body competitions but she wasn't ever REALLY big you know? I'm just scared that it's all going to come back and all this time is going to be wasted. help.
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Old 07-23-2008, 05:18 PM   #2
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I think that you need help and support. Lecturing you isnt going to make thing any better. You know what you need to be doing. The next step is actually doing it. Maybe sit down and plan a weeks worth of meals? Make them healthy so you dont feel guilty. After a week or 2 of doing this your body will appreciate it and show it. Im sure you will start losing again and not to mention you will feel a lot better. You work outs will be better and the dizzyness should go away. The first step is the hardest. Maybe try working your way up to eating more. Like everyday adding a little more food in?
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Old 07-23-2008, 05:19 PM   #3
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Cool Find a behavior therapist...yesterday

Hey, you sound as if you're in a not so happy place. I was there seven years ago. I lost 70 pounds on Atkins and walked for hours every day. My marriage was a disaster; I was in the process of making a huge job change. I lost the 70 pounds and then found I wasn't interested in eating...ever. Not good. I did, though, have one or two cocktails every evening. Eating made me sick; watching people made me sick. My behavior and set of friends changed entirely.

I realized I was in big trouble. I saw a behavioral therapist on the recommendation of a good friend who'd survived a rocky time. He was wonderful...is there someone who can recommend one to you or do you know someone? What you're experiencing is dangerous in terms of your physical and emotional health.

Now? You guessed it. Most of my problems are resolved...divorced my husband, enjoyed my new job, excelled at it, kept the weight off for about four years. Began eating exactly what I wanted and continued to travel (hours in the car, no exercise) professionally and gained...you guessed it...80 pounds! So get some qualified, professional help. If the first therapist you talk to doesn't feel right, find another one. But what's eating you is maybe more important than what you're eating. I'm thinking good thoughts for you. Let me know how you're doing. Keep safe.
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Old 07-23-2008, 05:20 PM   #4
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you clearly have eating disordered tendencies, i recommend seeing your doctor IMMEDIATELY
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Old 07-23-2008, 05:22 PM   #5
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I want to congratulate you on your weight loss so far!

I hit my plateau about a week ago, and I did the same thing. Up the excersize, and lowered the calories. I was getting so light headed and not feeling good at all. I found out that it was my blood sugar causing the problem. So I switched some of my foods around and am now back on track.

To be honest, I feel guilty about eating food too.

Hang in there!
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Old 07-24-2008, 09:47 AM   #6
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Please get professional help as soon possible. You have all the symptoms of an eating disorder. See your physician or a therapist but don't let it go on.
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Old 07-25-2008, 09:44 PM   #7
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Ok, I know I know... I would usually talk to my friend about all this crap it's just she's moving into a new apartment and has a new dog and I don't want to get in the way so am just trying to hold out... I don't want to talk to some stranger, is there anything I can read online?
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Old 07-25-2008, 10:36 PM   #8
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You need to see somebody who can give you proper medical advice. Nothing that you can read online can "help" you, because you are an individual.

You have to remember why you started this journey in the first place. It's so easy to get caught up in the weight loss and vanity part of it that we forget about our HEALTH.
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Old 07-26-2008, 11:03 PM   #9
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Cool Strangers are good!

Although it feels weird to even think about talking to a stranger about "your stuff," strangers are good. Professionals don't judge you. You don't have to worry about confidentiality, hurting their feelings, leaving yourself open to fall-out, shocking them or worry about what they'll think. I personally like to deal with behavioral therapists; they don't care about your past as much as they care about changing behaviors that you recognize as dangerous or destructive. And you drive the train. You decide whether your actions are destructive and you decide if and how you might consider changing them. Not spooky, not head-shrinkey! Your insurance probably covers it, and you won't feel the need to see him or her forever. You decide when you've accomplished what you need.

Please give it serious consideration. And, I'll look this weekend and see what I can find online. It's NOT a reasonable subsitute for medical intervention. Two things that're really common with those of us who've had emotional/physical difficulties to work through are (a) No, we don't want to go see a therapist and sometimes (b) we deliberately don't take medications our doctors have prescribed. It's part of the depression, part of the illness, human nature...So, decide to get well.

I'm thinking good thoughts for you.
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