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Old 03-03-2008, 10:00 AM   #1  
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Default Need help, please!!

Hi yet again. I've been gone awhile but I think I'm ready to take off the pounds I've gained(@ 12 lbs) plus more. I'm going to have to do this on my own because all the centers in my state closed. I'm having a big problem with my hubby, he keeps bringing home boxes of tasty cakes and ice cream. He is overweight too. I need words of encouragement, please. I feel like crap today. I feel like I weigh a thousand pounds. I ate ice cream right before going to bed last night and feel like I'm so full this morning. I can't even bring myself to eat anything right now. I hate this feeling. I don't know why I let myself go like this.
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Old 03-03-2008, 10:15 AM   #2  
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Hi, Grey. First of all, don't be so down on yourself. We all slip -- it's what makes us human. What's important is that you acknowledge that this is not going to help you feel better or lose weight -- and you have done so.

Secondly, it's good that you see the consequences. You went to bed just after eating ice cream, and you woke up feeling bad (physically). Having that connection -- rewards and punishments -- is what helps us get where we're going.

Third, only you can control your behaviors. If DH brings home snacks, you have a couple options:
1. eat them and then feel badly (and know that it's not going to help you reach goal)
2. ignore them, and stay focused. Ask yourself, is this snack cake worth it? If it's 200 calories, how many situps, how much walking/running, how much exercise am I willing to do to make up for it? And if I'm not, then what do I want more ... the instant gratification of how it tastes (and the guilt I'll feel afterwards), or the satisfaction of knowing you did not give in, and that you are teaching yourself a life lesson?

You might also talk to DH about it -- but for yourself. Don't blame him, or try to tell him he's overweight and shouldn't eat it. This is about YOU. So you might say, "Honey, I'm trying really hard to lose weight, and it would be so helpful if you would keep those foods out of the house while I'm learning how to better control myself around temptations like those." Don't fight, don't accuse, just appeal to him and tell him this is about what you need. The added benefit is that he might eat fewer of them as well, and lose weight -- but that's for him to decide, not you.

If that doesn't work, then you should ask him to hide those foods so they are not in your plain view, and to avoid eating them around you.

You can DO this!! I know how you feel. I was down to close to your weight, and through some depression and other things, let myself go WAY off plan, and gained much of it back within 1.5 years. Don't let yourself do that! Let me assure you ... recognizing this after 12 lbs is MUCH better than doing it after almost 90 lbs. So stay focused! We're here for you, and we believe in you!
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Old 03-03-2008, 10:17 AM   #3  
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Hi Grey, I am so sorry to see you feeling so low this morning. Keep your chin up, you can do this!

Great advice Erin!
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Old 03-03-2008, 10:21 AM   #4  
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Talk to DH and tell him he can eat whatever he wants... but he's not allowed to bring any of it home.

There's nothing wrong with having him "help" you simply by keeping unhealthy snacks & treats out of the house. (Out of house, out of mouth!)

Slip-ups & bad choices happen. We're really tested when we know we've made a mistake, but we also know we need to move beyond it. So, what you do next is most important. Do you let a little slip mess you up longer, or do you take control back now?

You CAN continue on the right path
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Old 03-03-2008, 11:14 AM   #5  
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I agree completely with Erin and Faerie...

You MUST get the food out of the house.. Men are like brick walls.. Sometimes you have to hit us with a sledge hammer to get your points across. If he's not ready to lose the weight, that's his choice.. We can't do it until we're mentally prepared.. But in the meantime, he has to respect your choice to take this battle on for yourself.. That also goes for when you eat out.. It's so easy to pick at others plates.. What makes it really hard is when they've got a big pile of fries or mashed potatoes (with butter and gravy, of course)...
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