I think we have pretty much all agreed, a good Beck coach is hard to find, and we have discussed the reasons that is so.
We also know that if Beck says to do it, we shortchange ourselves if we don't. I think we have agreed the BDS works; we have seen success here in a variety of ways; and I think most of us have found the coaching and accountability we need here. Credit, all!
Credit, all and thanks, all..and I second CoastalSue's sentiments of thanks to BillBE for his steadfast work. I appreciate every single one of BillBE's posts; they are always so thoughtful and I have come to appreciate that consistent voice and daily post. It is no small feat, and we appreciate it. I also appreciate the way CoastalSue can say what I am thinking/ feeling so much better than I can say it myself. That is way cool.
I must admit, I have come to look for posts from all; that is not to pressure anyone, but I appreciate the wisdom of our collective voices.
Heidi, credit you..."I want my actions to be in line with my vision of my ideal self." What a great, well-thought out advantage.
I am wondering about BillBE's musings about will we ever be able to let down our guard with food issues? From what I have been reading on Maintainers, it is beginning to look like perhaps not. It fascinates me how many of them talk about doing things that Beck is teaching us. They aren't Beckies, but they came to that wisdom somehow......Now, tell me Beck doesn't make sense! We are learning what they had to the hard way!
I can live with always having to "watch what I eat" so to speak, but I wish I could get over the preoccupation with food (described so well by BillBE and CoastalSue)..it is just so stupid! What a waste of time to keep thinking about the muffins at the meeting.......well, some of my meetings ARE pretty boring.....bad example...lol.....to be looking at everyone's plates at the restaurant as the waiter brings them by....sic. *sigh
Hi all - it's been an exhausting week AND I just lost my previously planned post.
In short:
I lost 2# this week!! woohoo! thanks for all your help & support!
I am so tired that I feel vulnerable to cravings; however I know that this would lead to a terrible downward spiral in physical and mental health and the momentary pleasure is NOT worth it! Beck works!!
Sue - WTG on 2lbs gone and thanks for your great thoughts on days 5 and 6!
Bill - thanks for your compassionate thoughts about hiatus, much appreciated.
maryblu - credit you for recognizing the value of this group as coach(es). i am starting to think that the food obsession is, for us, what pema chodron calls "shenpa" - an urge that is "both the itch and the scratch". It can, in fact, become our teacher ... when we recognize it, credit us for seeing it for what it is and for resisting it and flexing our resistance muscles!!
here's an article about it: http://store.soundstrue.com/article-w886d.html
I think i really need to listen to her entire audiobook on the subject ... once i've finished beck and "the mindful way through depression" ... one thing at a time!!
have a great night all,
erika
Diet Coaches - I did it!! I did it!! I repeated my trip to Whole Foods to exercise my resistance muscle when faced with FREE food. They delivered a nice spread of seven different succulent offerings; I resisted. CREDIT moi. With immediate benefit: as I continued my planned one hour brisk walk, I felt a tad tired and thought about taking the short cut home. No way, anybody who can resist Whole Foods FREE food can finish a planned walk, so I did. CREDIT moi. I do love this stuff when it's working.
Sue (CoastalSue) - Congrats on 2 more lbs. I'm cheering for your breakthrough to under the 300's. Thank you for your kind words and for your insights on hiatus, coaching, and staying on plan. This mutual listening, giving feedback, and sharing of idea about Beck strategies could be called co-coaching, similar to co-counseling in Harvey Jackins' Re-evaluation Counseling. Gotta go read up on that for ideas for us here. Methinks that Beck's book is much more centered around having a professional coach rather than a peer coach. We might have to contribute to expanding her book a bit; there are FAR more overweight people than there are CBT therapists.
MaryBlu - Thanks for the kind words, and thanks for so eloquently expressing why I also like CostalSue's musings - she so succinctly states what I'm thinking. Erika's insight that our food fixation is our shenpa might help me get out from under feeling embarrassed and annoyed so I can accept it and then work on it. You soooooo capture food obsession with "looking at everyone's plates at the restaurant as the waiter brings them by," LOL.
Heidi (hbuchwald) - Gotta join the chorus here and acknowledge how much I admire the Advantage, ""I want my actions to be in line with my vision of my ideal self." Really nice.
Erika (eusebius) – Congrats on the 2#'s and kudos for the demo of working Beck strategies even when exhausted. And thanks for the thoughtful post about Pema Chodron. That shenpa idea is really powerful. LOL at busy, busy Erika adding books to her reading stack. Perhaps the 12 step guys could modify their slogan to One book at a time. (Thought of you yesterday when I say a picture of the Kripalu Center in the Berkshires covered in peaceful snow.)
Readers - "I have to prepare in advance for sabotaging thinking.” Beck, pg 13.
Hello everyone,I am just checking in,I had my weigh in on Thur. at the WW meeting and lost 1.2 pounds. Total of 5 for me but others in the class have lost 10 or more in the 3 weeks.Have to say I was a little disappointed after all the extra exercise and work I put in,but I am a bit hormonal and I have a big retaining problem from salt.I don't eat alot of salt but I love Franks Red Hot pepper sauce and put it on alot of things.I noticed too that trying to reduce fat and calories leaves food tasting bland and I use more things with salt in,I don't add salt.Especially soups lowfat frozen meals and 94% fat free popcorn.Anyway I wrote some advantage cards for weigh in from the book:
1 Use the number on the scale as a guide to decide whether you should keep doing what you are doing or make changes.
2 Celebrate every1/2 pound loss,expect no more than 1/2-2 pounds a week.
3 At worst gaining weight means I might have made mistakes that I can correct during the coming week.
4 All dieters have weeks where the weight stays the same or increases slightly.
So I am just continuing on.Had a very good lunch at home today. A weight watchers pita split in half with tomato sauce onions,fresh jalapenos,garlic,crushed red pepper and 1/4 cup lowfat mozzarella to top and baked in the oven.Also a Jonny Gold apple which was very crisp and 10 oz.I find I shop more and I try to treat myself with healthy foods I especially like,fresh fruit,baby greens salads,good strawberries ect...Also bought skinny cow chocolate peanutbutter icecream sandwiches,3ww points.Have to hide these from the kids,I bought them some regular ones.
Everyone seems so good at posting just the right thing for everyone,please bear with me as I am just learning.I have two questions. How often shall we check in? How do I update my ticker without making a new one?
BillBlueEyes Congratulations on your trip to Whole Foods,you did a great job.Also you followed through with completing a step in the book.It is easy to read through some of the steps and just think"I don't really need to try that"and just skip a step or exercise.You are following through and you are at goal.
CoastalSue Great Job 2 more pounds and you have set a reasonable goal for the year.I also like the fredom or reading and posting any time.The swimming is such a great exercise and very soothing and stress relieving,it must be wonderful living by the shore.I lived in Florida 4 years when my husband was in school and we were constantly in water at the beach or pool.We live in PA after moving back so the kids can be near the extended family,I miss the weather and beaches every day.
Eusebius Wonderful to be down 2 pounds this week! Good insight into the connection between feeling tired and being vulnerable to cravings.Sometimes I turn off all the lights downstairs and get in bed real early just to avoid the unplanned eating.Once downstairs is closed thats it,no food.
Maryblu I also believe Beck works and is the answer to my weight problems.Preoccupation with food is difficult and you are definitely not alone. You are doing a great job.I have been thinking to myself that I want some sweet/sour candy.I have also been thinking a few pieces is not what I want,I want to lay on the couch and eat candy all evening to soothe my stress.I have on one of my advantage cards from the book."As you follow your diet plan and tolerate craving after craving,you will find the cravings definitely diminish and you won't have to battle every time you see your favorite foods."This is what we are working for[I wish for this some day]
hbuchwald You are doing a great job with all the stress you are under and you are still fitting in your meal planning and exercise!You are not giving up and you will suceed.
I was also wondering what step everyone is currently on?Do you try for one a day,one for a few days?I am still stuck on the sabatoging thoughts and have been reading these over for about a week now.I do see on here that we go over one step a week and we are on the find a coach now. have a great day wendy
Hi everyone,
I have read almost all of your previous posts and have found much encouragement from them. I have ordered the Beck Diet Solution book in the mail but still have not recieved it. I struggle with depression and emotional eating and so i have found it very hard to lose weight. In fact due to negative thinking i have been gaining fairly rapidly.
And, in case you never got your proper one of these:
Welcome to the Beck Diet Solution Discussion Group, Support Group, Diet Coach Group.
Feel free to jump right in. We've started reading the book from the beginning and are now up to Program-day 6. Since we only do about two Program-days per week, you'll catch up in no time.
Great job, Wendylan!! You are getting it fast and doing the steps.
I think you will see we are very loosely organized. There is no reading assignment or set plan to stay on track day by day. Life happens. We have volunteers to lead discussions in sequence, but we don't do a step a day.....we had originally said two days per week, but I don't think it matters......we all work it as we can, and get support and give it when we can.
I tend to post about the tool/day/step I find most helpful for the moment. BillBE took us through the whole plan initially, but now we are just here to be coaches, remind/ encourage/share wisdom. Would you all agree?
BillBE, I was really surprised by your comment "Methinks that Beck's book is much more centered around having a professional coach rather than a peer coach." I had never thought of it that way; I am such a loyal follower...just do it......it's a good thing she never says do something illegal!
I just think a real and effective coach is hard to find. Even my attempt to organize a study group failed...a person has to be at the right stage and ready, and just 'cuz I say it works, that doesn't mean any of my friends are ready. The good news is we are all ready and committed here.
For those of you feeling my pain in the frozen northland, we are above zero for a minor reprieve, but back into below zero highs for the day next week. *sigh......and we are all still being cheerful, saying we can tell the days are getting longer....we aren't hardy, we are stoopid, stoopid, stoopid! :-)
Welcome to CherryAutumn hope you find the support you need here. THis is a good group.-both very thoughtful and supportive. Even some of concepts for dealing with depression are similiar to Beck's idea- This use of the mind to change behaviors. Maryblu is right in that this group is not very structured, but everyone goes through the book and write about their difficulties and success and we'll chime in our thoughts.
Erika-love the article which you included in your posting-some great ideas by Pema-the use of poisons which we think can sooth us. Hurray that you are down 2 lbs!!!!.
Maryblu- the food preoccupation-It think is is Heidi who wrote about about if we control something or if it control us. I guess by giving food such "magical power-cure unhappy emotions, fatigue,and boredum plus provide happiness," then when it does not work we just eat more versus learn that food has no magical powers other than to remove hunger and give our bodies fuel.- While I always have to alert around food, I have found some days I am more relaxed living with my food plan, but other days are really tough. I know some ex-smokers want a cig all the time inspite of quiting years ago. When trying to meditate some people call the difficulty in keep a calm mind as the mind being like a monkey-monkey mind -thought and ideas hopping everwhere. It is embarassing to hear a friend's sad troubles and be thinking about the cookies behind her. Oh well that is just our crazy monkey mind.
BillBlueEyes-great actions today at Whole Foods.-you did it!!plus continued walking inspite of being tired. Feel that success you have earned -every once of credit. You continously meet the challenges you set for yourself WOW. Great determination.
I think that Beck actually overestimate the skills and confortablilty of people to be a diet coach. My husband loves wood working, I love my husband but I can only listen and understand a limited amount of his detailed steps to finish a project. I feel that about the diet coach who is a friend -how many times can I go on about my food problems which they don't share or really see as a problem-Here in this forum we share the passion about the complexity to loosing and keeping weight off. We can go on and on about it and folks listen and understand.
Wendy-So glad you lost and could work throught the disappointment about not losing more.I am a slow loser also( of course I am in my 60's and Everything is done slower now) But still I have made some great health gains-lower blood sugars and blood pressure. Alot of good is happening even if the scales move slowly. Thanks for posting the advantage cards-all good reminders when we want more weight off quicker. Just today I though that I had only lost about 45lb last year-if only i had lost more.....not eat.. then realize once I was close to 400 lb and will soon be under 300. 299 sounds so much better than 400-heck I am a winner even tho a slow loser.
I like those skinny cow ice creams also-we dont have the peanut butter ones up here. I also love the ocean what a magnificente sight!! Our coast is very dramatic and rugged. At times it kind of reminds of the shore of Lake Superior
without the snow(Oh Maryblu in the 0 temps)
best wishes to all
the winds and rains have arrive with some minor flooding of roadway. Our Kids were to come up, but not going to risk it. NOt the storm of couple of weeks ago but power may go.
sue
Last edited by coastalsue; 01-26-2008 at 12:41 AM.
Hello there friends/coaches,
I ate unplanned food tonight at Chuck E Cheese-yuck! I ate pizza and a piece of storebought cake that always LOOKS good but never is worth it when I eat it. Oh well...water for me tonight. I realy feel sick. I am trying to remember that I used to eat that kind of stuff ALL the time. That my whole diet was unplanned. Seems like a lifetime ago. I am in a minor panic though since I am so scared of losing control. How timely of Sue to bring up the "power of food"...it is so silly for me to think that because I ate too much tonight that my whole plan is DONE. I really don't like how I feel right now physically and am trying to let this be a lesson for me to learn from. What else can a person do?
Bill-I love the guideline of not having to explain a hiatus and that a person can start wherever they are in the program. Big kudos to you for doing your Whole Foods Challenge! And to keep on walking when a shortcut was calling your name... impressive!
I will do something with Day 7 and 8 within the next few days for us. I am hoping that can get my head back into this fully and hopefully pull my weight (pardon the pun) around here!
Sue: I really hope that the weather doesn't get too crazy down there and that your power STAYS ON! We are supposed to get some snow up here in WA state this weekend. I will believe it when I see it. We are whining since it is in the upper 20's in the mornings...I would never survive in Minn.!
Off to bed for me. Doggie looks better everyday and brings us so much joy... what a sweetie he is!
Bringing my cookbooks to bed to find a few recipes to make this weekend to feed off of during the week. And of course Beck so I can ponder deep thoughts about Day 7!
You all are really the best...yes, Beck should read these threads and see another way that diet coaching can look.
Diet Coaches – I plan to drink more water today, since I regularly drink much less than is generally recommended around here because of the extra trips to the john. I admire all of you who regularly report drinking 8 glasses a day, always wondering how you manage the constant pee breaks. Had some pomegranate arils with my Clementine for evening snack yesterday. When savoring the sweet, juicy, joy of Clementine or pomegranate I find it hard to remember that eating is about satisfying hunger. I accept it to be positive to delight in food when eating on plan.
Thanks to Sue (CoastalSue) for starting off the discussions on Program-days 5 and 6, and to Heidi (hbuchwald) for volunteering to start off Program-days 7 and 8.
Sue (CoastalSue) – Thanks for the analogy to your DH's woodworking details. I can't imagine telling my DW the angst of my Cuban Missile Crisis Cookie. She'd think I was crazy, LOL. I do like your story of listening to a friend while thinking of the cookies behind her. Monkey mind to say the least. I cringe at the thought that a mind reading device would ever be invented - ouch.
MaryBlu – Sending my warmest best wishes to the frozen northland. LOL, you make it so inappropriate to complain that our highs don’t break freezing when your highs don’t break zero. "… we are just here to be coaches, remind/ encourage/share wisdom. Would you all agree?" That sums it up for me.
Heidi (hbuchwald) - LOL at the memory that being a parent brings one to eat at the likes of Yuck E Cheese. I do want to send the gentle reminder that getting back on plan after a minor diversion of a slice of pizza and cake can include some light eating, but it's best to avoid skipping dinner and only drinking water. I'm pretty sure you're on top of that idea, just want to make sure that any readers don't get misled to the notion of deprivation - since deprivation is an invitation to big-time falling off plan. I'm also just delighted by the image of you curled up in your warm bed reading a good cook book.
Glad to hear the Henry continues to bounce about. Continuing to send my best healing thoughts for the three of you.
Erika (eusebius) – DW also liked the article on shenpa. She's a Pema Chodron fan and already has a couple of her books.
wendy (wendylan) – Congrats on the 5# loss; that’s right on track for three weeks. I know it’s difficult not to compare yourself against everyone else, but comparing is a Sabotaging Thought that can distract from working our own path. Can you make yourself a response something like this Helpful Response: my body, my path.
Your pita pizza sounds yummy. You're really into some healthy foods there. Even with healthy foods, it’s really smart to avoid bland – or any food that you don’t like. Long term success is most likely when healthy eating is about making smart choices, not about deprivation. There are a bunch of really flavorful seasonings that don’t contain salt; Mrs. Dash is one of the easiest to find (some 4 or 5 different combinations). There are others. Also, the free catalog from Penzeys.com is full of ideas for use of seasonings.
"How often shall we check in?" When starting out, daily is really great because that helps to stay on track and to avoid the Sabotaging Thought to just drop out. It’s worth making a commitment to yourself to post daily, or at least every other day because then you can pull out your Just DO it card and either make a status post or, at least, a Just waving post. If you find yourself in a hiatus of multiple days remember that we don’t require an explanation – just pop back in with today’s status.
"How do I update my ticker without making a new one?"Can one of the ticker updating people help here?
CherryAutumn – Kudos for recognizing emotional eating; boy, that’s a great first step. The Beck Diet Solution is really on to strategies for addressing depression, emotional eating, and negative thinking. Start slowly, work diligently. You’re at the right place here.
Readers – “I need to sit down and eat slowly and notice every bite – every time I eat.” Beck, pg 13.
I am happy to find this group. I got The Beck Diet Solution from the library last Fall and read it. It all made sense, but I figured I could get by without doing the exercises. I did OK with my diet for a few days, but then had a bout of emotional eating. Between emotional eating and the holidays, I am now 4 pounds heavier.
I am 62 and have been struggling with weight--up, down, up, down--all of my life. I am usually on a "diet", but can't manage food outside the context of a "diet". When I get upset and binge, I don't give any thought at all to what I am doing at the time. It is just automatic.
Well, I am fed up with this misery and just ordered the book. I will follow the posts until I can participate more fully.
Just finished reading an article called Change the Way You Think About Food in Feb 08 EatingWell mag. This article describes how the different parts of the brain react to foods, the way we can get "addicted" or get a sense of reward with eating inappropriate amounts of foods. For me science so help removes negative attitudes about my eating-all that moralizing or really the demoralizing state I can get into when eating unhealthly. The solutions for changing all this brain pattern-yup Behavioral Cognitve therapy. We are so on the right track-All the suggestions for changes were things we are all doing when following Beck's book.
CatR- Welcome. The book has a nice pace for getting started-there is two weeks just to get prepared to go on a food plan-join us and give your self time to make the adjustments.
BillBlueEyes- You always make me ponder and I love it. I think to throughly enjoy food for it's inherent qualities is excellent.-flavors. textures, pairing with other flavors. Then it is like watching a beautiful sunset-one of life's treat. But when I make the food a "solution" for other of life's problem then I have give it too much power. P.S. I am going on a blood orange jag as a treat-yummy. tis the critus season. I find it harder to drink all the water when it winter-just drink more when it is summer and warmer-So I have water containers in a couple of places. I admire how you can set a challenge for yourself and so consistantly meet it. I have a real sense of fear of failure that I can not be perfect. There is almost a tension build up so that I am screw up that I just blow it (just hurry and eat something unplanned) to get the tension over with. Thinking about your skill in meeting your challenges. Much credit. Anyway thinking of ways of dealing with my odd tension pattern about fearing I will fail at being "perfect" in highly challenging food situations-parties, friends.
lights are flicking so have posted quickly in case of lack of power.
sue
Last edited by coastalsue; 01-26-2008 at 05:47 PM.
Power stayed on -but has been off at least 2 times for about 4 hrs today-others are still without power.
Heidi thanks for doing the next couple of sections of the book-Best wishes for a ever healthier Harry. Oh that darn Yuck E Cheese-So popular if one is under 10 yrs. Were you tired on Friday after teaching all week? You have done so well, forgive, figure out how not repeat it and go on. That is a powerful response. The quicker you return to the plan the quicker you can unlearn the mystical allure of tastless but high carb foods. I am still working on that myself. Learned the concept of giving up power from you.-so thank you for that idea.
-Sometimes after eating too many but non nutrious cals during the day I focus on lowfat high protein stuff. a protein shake, defrosted cook shrimp for dinner.
big wave to everyone-hope all is going well.
sue again
Last edited by coastalsue; 01-26-2008 at 06:21 PM.
I am just checking in,I work this weekend so I am busy with that.I have stayed within my points,swam Fri eve and today I am taking a break to get some ironing done.This book helps so much,I have never stayed on program and track for so many days in a row and without feeling deprived.Also 2 months ago I can remember so many days after work just picking up pizza,chickenwings,hoagies or whatever just to get through dinner and then laying on the couch exhausted.Now I am getting more done and at the pool about 4-5 times a week.Where did all that energy come from?Welcome cherry autumn and cat! This message board is great and really gives that extra push to continue on and to see others are struggling just like me AND SUCCEEDING!I am using both the book and the workbook. have a good evening
Hi friends,
Thanks Sue and Bill for the encouragement and perspective. Yes, I was tired on Friday! I am back on track now... feeling good and now have a house full of healthy groceries and plans to make a few things for the week. Credit moi!
Bill-those clemantimes sound so good. Yes, it is so good to enjoy food! I think that my body is actually getting used to having so much hydration..I don't pee as often as I did when I first upped my water intake. I still do take more trips than before but just try not to be irritated by it. It could be a drag to have to go all the time but the benifits outweigh...
Welcome CatR! I have gone up and down a few times as well. The skills/strategies presented in this book are helpful in so many areas of life. Checking in with this group is so great too. This is a good bunch of peeps!
Sue: the article is so validating.. I have never read that mag-will look for it next time I am at the store. I relate to the perfection thing too. I was thinking about that after my post about the pizza/cake episode and Bill's comments put it in perspective. It was one of those times and I can move on and eat lighter the next day and make any other accomodations.... it is not so black and white like my mind likes to assume sometimes. I really don't need perfection..just "good enough"..good enough to take care of myself and live in this world that has some yummy food in it (or crappy yet oddly desireable food)...
My big dog is lying right here next to me. He is more himself all the time-a miracle!!! I am giving him fluids subcutaneously and giving him lots of meds.... it is so worth it to see him comfortable and back into his routine of life (mostly). I feel my blood pressure drop even thinking about his sweet nature. Pets are so wonderful!
A good (Beck) coach
Friday - Only 9 hyping days till the Super Bowl
