Here's a dilemma for you all, I find that as I'm stopping using food as a response to my emotions, I'm having trouble expressing them appropriately, especially anger. My poor SO gets the brunt of it, I yell a lot at him and he's really starting to get fed up with it. He says that I'm angry all the time lately. I don't know what to do differently, I have trouble controlling myself in the heat of the moment. In my house growing up, I was NOT allowed to be angry and I don't really know what to do with the emotion. Any suggestions?
Biggest Loser Challenge Goal: 12/3 Go Red Team!
Hi everyone! Just received my book the other day. Have done 3 days worth of work so far. Yesterday I was amazed at how often I eat standing up. Caught myself actually eating 4 different times.
I am not waiting the 2 weeks to start the diet though. I was really already watching so I am officially starting on tuesday.
Veronica-wish I had an answer for you. You were probably used to stuffing that anger down with food so now it is bubbling up. How about journaling when you feel like you are ready to explode. Something to this effect: When this happens I feel________________. and go from there.
Well I am finally ready to deal with the consequences of diet denial-Once again trying out the old believe that I am intitled to eat any thing in any amount and be healthy. Maybe like you mentioned Veronica I have much trouble dealing with strong emotions. It feels safer to stuff them down that trust myself to clearly express them or cope without food.
suggestions? Boy what a tough one for us addictive types. I often feel that coping with emotions is the at the core of much of addictions-food, alcohol and drugs. Your question does make me think about how to improve my coping.
Anger usually reflects unmet need. I try to figure what kind of need-some time anger is due to my emotional needs-maybe not the other person responsibilty but just mine. Other time anger is because the other person(family, friends, politicians,general public) is oblivious the needs of others that includes me, lied or were harmful. I certainly respect you desire to change ways in dealing with anger-it is a tough one, let me know what works for you.
I finally got my workbook and I am so ready for a new tool to go over the Beck stuff. I continually overeat when away from home or when we have weekend guests. I have lost but I sure slow my rate down by so much. I am actually so embrassed when I am dieting in front of others. There are so many strong emotions 1. Go ahead it just this one time, 2. Dieters are kill joys-think they are better than others-you all know those people of are "food Superiors" and how boring they are. Even if I don't talk about dieting, my family friends are aware of the changes. Like I am acting "Better" than them. 3. You NEVER get this chance to taste this food, wine, ect that your friends brought. 4. The entire environement is just soo stimulating to eat, actually do not even process that I am eating when sitting around all evening with food and drink about. 5. One of the Biggest there goes Sue again thinking she'll lose weight and making a big deal about not over eating( the act of measuring and recording food) and then tomarrow or some day soon she just regain everything back. Got a lot of head garbage causing me to eat alot of garbage foods.
Mary you are right about all the steps and sometimes I just get so lazy. Then instead I don't do any instead just focusing on a couple of them . Good luck on you diet. What are you doing?
Hello to all the rest of you folks.
Last edited by coastalsue : 10-09-2007 at 03:21 PM.
Sue-I am doing Michael Thurmonds 6 day mini makeover then transitioning to Body For Life. I like the idea of eating 6 small meals. I get to eat all day and don't feel deprived.
I know what you mean about the head games and dieting. Hoping the Beck thing will help that for me. I have been dieting most of my adult life with little success or if I do lose weight I gain it back. I really feel working on my head and not just my eating will work.
This was sorta easy since I picked what I've been eating for two years now. But writing it down forced me to work a hole that is a great opportunity to slip back into mindless eating. It appeared just this week.
It was time to shift from fresh fruit with my breakfast to dried fruit (raisins, figs, apricots). When I reached for the golden raisins, my brain just went to its want-a-whole-lot-of-these mode. I dumped out WAY TOO MANY for a reasonable serving. So, I wrote down the volume to use each morning. Just hated to confront that I needed to do that. Hate to admit that my want-a-whole-lot-of-these thinking is still there after two years
As i write this I remember that I experience my want-a-whole-lot-of-these thinking at the store when I'm picking up certain foods (e.g. raisins, pecans, and crackers). That's different from when I pick up oats or red bell peppers and think "how much do I need for this week and how much room do I have to store them?" Will attempt to shift my awareness that shopping gives me an early warning system.
Veronica - Thanks for bringing up emotions driving eating. That's been a problem for me. I responded to tension at work by going straight to the vending machines. When my favorite was sold out I would choose from what was available, including some rather unattractive choices. It never occurred to me to choose a glass of water or a short walk instead.
Mary - Glad you're starting here. Like your idea of journaling the emotion in play when going to eat.
Sue - "... diet denial ... I am entitled to eat any thing in any amount and be healthy" Yep !!! Glad to have Beck address this directly. Hoping that this type of thinking fades for me. Until then, I'll try using the Oh Well Response card.
Did good yesterday. Was about to lose it last night and binge and started to but decided to read my response cards and advantages card and ya know what? it really help!
I know now that I can't have salty almonds. I could have easily ate the whole can. Forget about portion size with them. Maybe it was the salt (their salt & vinegar flavored) that set me up. I really like being aware. I think this is the first time in my life I am aware of what I am eating, how I am eating and I know I can make choices.
Bill-Good idea to journal each day on here. Glad you decided to open the book and start.
Sue- I am doing Michael Thurmond's 6 week diet. Then I am transitioning to Body for Life. Which I have done offf and on for the past few years. Have you started using the workbook yet? I love it. I make sure to read it and write in it everyday.
Sound like you two Maryshady and Bill are doing great. My big step was to add another day of exercise today. While trying to swim everyother day-I now added a tape to do at home. This is addition to increase the small little movements around the house-going up and down stairs more often.
I have started the workbook-I like doing the execises in the book-I needed to repeat much of the stuff.
I have not heard of the Thurmand 6 week diet, I am back to recording, measuring and doing the cal counting stuff. I am so on task when at home and just hubby and me. It is vistors and short trips that then I refuse to remain conscious of eating. This pattern has slowed me down so much!!!
On a diet Coach- I have no success in find one other than posting here. I tried a friend, but she found it awkward and really didn't want to do it. I think she though she would have to lecture me when I was off program. It was a bit odd-so we dropped it-either my overweight pals don't want to deal with folks trying to lose weight or my thin friends don't understand why I just am not more disciplined.
Bill- I have had to really learn to measure out some of those "healthy" dried fruits and nuts-Even a couple ot Tlbs of Pine Nuts added to a salad can be another 100 Plus Cals.
I am so glad you two are posting, over the last number of numbers so many folks have joined and then quit so I am a bit cautious of about really relying on this spot. But it is so convnient -I live very rural and the nearest Cognitive Therapist is over 3 hrs away to say nothing about if I could even afford it. To me I could use the insight of why I let the sabotaging thoughts come up sometime afollow them and others times I can tame them.
What kind of help you folks looking for?
Mary - glad to hear that using your Advantages Card helped at a decision moment. That's the kind of thing I'm hoping to get out of Beck.
Sue - Sorry to hear that using a close friend as a diet coach didn't work. That's the kind of awkwardness I envision if I tried to use DW or a friend (who wasn't on the same journey).
What kind of help you folks looking for?
One thing is a place to say out loud the small issues that are key for me that but just way to boring for someone not on my journey. An example is my emotional response to serving myself too much dried fruit. It's just hard to imagine a sane person being interested in hearing my feelings about 4 figs instead of 2 figs. Sorta a setup for their mental response, "I really don't give a fig!"
So, when I reach Program-day 6, I suspect that I'm going to reach out to the people on this thread to be my diet coach.
During my first 6 months of healthy eating, while losing about 2#s/week, I ate no samples while shopping and I ate no party foods while standing. For maintenance, I will substitute guidelines for these two exceptions to eating sitting down.
I will eat samples while shopping, substituting them for a planned snack, using these guidelines: YES to healthy food samples (e.g. melons, chicken), NO to unhealthy food samples (potato chips, crackers) and commonly available foods (e.g. Cracker Barrel cheddar cheese), and OCCASIONAL YES to rare treat samples (e.g. $15.99/lb French goat cheese with fig sauce, raw oyster). Iíll remain aware that this is a potential problem area for me because I have eaten stuff Iíd never serve myself at home just because it was free.
I will eat party foods while standing if I count and record each item and review what I ate the next day. This will cover the parties where the full meal is eaten while standing. Iíll remain aware that this is a potential problem area for me because I have slipped into an eat-without-accountability thinking.
I will eat my planed snack standing when out hiking or birding. This isnít a problem area for me.
I am glad to see that there are people posting again! I am still giving it a whirl. I got an email from a Beck coach saying that they are trying to set up coaching and an online service within the next two months. I am really pumped up about that.
I don't have a lot of faith in using a friend (cyber or otherwise) and want a coach. So, I am thinking of getting one that is an hour away. I am not sure how often she will want to meet. I am trying to talk her into a face to face meeting once a month and using email for other contact. I will let you know.
I saw a video of me yesterday. It was not pleasant! I really have to lose weight.