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Old 08-03-2007, 11:44 AM   #1
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Default Need some advice from my WL buddies:)

Ok...my current weight as of this morning is 154.2. My goal weight is 130. This morning, my DH told me that he doesn't think that I should lose any weight...just work with what I have - meaning tone the areas that I feel need it. He said that my face is getting too thin. I'm happy right now, but I don't think that the 150's is where I want to be. According to healthy weight calculators, I'm still overweight. DH thinks that I should feel relieved that I "don't have" to lose more weight, but I just don't know. Plus, I don't want to look too thin - but I can't imagine how I could since I'm 24 pounds over where I used to be...but then again, I was 130 in my early 20's, so maybe that's too low...

HELP!!!!!
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Old 08-03-2007, 11:54 AM   #2
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Personally, I think you should do what you feel you need to do. I think that during the "process" of losing weight that, sure, we thin out. But once we reach our goal, we settle into that weight and lose that "too thin" appearance.

I've talked about how my mom, over the years, constantly rided me about my weight... Last month she actually commented that she thought I shouldn't lose any more...

I really think it's that since we've been heavy for so long, our family and friends don't remember what we looked like back when we weighed much less. In Liz's case, she's NEVER seen me this slim... They'll get used to it...

But again, you have to follow your heart...
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Old 08-03-2007, 11:57 AM   #3
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Hmmmmmmmmm, very interesting, Tina. What does your doctor say? Cuz my first thought was, well, if you're healthy, then maybe DH is right.........but, if you are unhappy with your weight, and losing a few more will still keep you healthy or healthier, and happier.....then I say go for it. Maybe make anice compromise to 140.....

I have pictures of myself when I was younger and very thin........and when I look at them, I now agree with what people used to tell me.........my face DID look too thin. You know how really thin people can get that big head syndrome...........lol. You totally don't want that. My DH is not a fan of the super thin either. If I see a really skinny lady somewhere and point her out and tell DH that's how skinny I want to be, he always scrunches up his nose and says, "nooooo."

Is what DH said making you feel bad? Cuz I am sure he did not intend that. Don't worry........he is going to love you no matter what

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Old 08-03-2007, 12:19 PM   #4
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Tina- I agree with Dan and Nicole. You really need to do what is going to make YOU feel good about yourself. With me, I am happy with my upper half and if I could get the bottom half toned and less flabby, I think I would be happy at the weight I am. I really have no numbers to go by as a goal because I weigh less now than I did in high school but have more flab than I did then. I have no desire to be rail thin and DH likes curvy women anyway.
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Old 08-03-2007, 12:47 PM   #5
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My thoughts...

Some people try for a weight that is too low, but at 5"3, I think that the 130's would be good. It's healthy and not even in the 115 range that "the charts" say you should be. People get nervous when our appearance changes. DH may like you this way, and I think that's great. But if YOU aren't happy yet, and your Dr. thinks you should be lower, I would go for it. This is a personal decision, but just because the rest of America is overweight, or carries an extra 20lbs on them doesn't mean it's normal or healthy. Put me in a room with a bunch of people who are over 350lbs, and I look like a supermodel. It's all about the perception of what you see. And while I agree that we should accept others regardless of weight or appearance, health does play an issue when it comes to yourself.

I'm sorry for rambling, but I hope somewhere in that you found what I meant. Gotta get back to work otherwise it would have been better thought out.
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Old 08-03-2007, 01:29 PM   #6
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Thank you all so so much for your responses. It was funny because as my DH was telling me this, I was thinking "I have to see what my 3FC friends think" lol

So I have decided that I will see how I feel at 140 and decide if I want to lose that extra 10. I agree with you, Dan. My face probably does look thinner, but my body should "even out" over time.
Nicole - you made a good point. Maybe I should go get a physical. I've been wanting to, anyway. Then I can see what my Dr. says. And no, DH didn't make me feel bad. I know he's just concerned and I appreciate that...it just made me think that's all.
Deb and Cassie - I agree with you both, too. I was thinking that maybe I will pull out some pictures of when I was at 130 and show them to DH to remind him that I really was smaller before DD!
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Old 08-03-2007, 03:20 PM   #7
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Tina - everyone has given you good advice here, I'm going to chime in with some questions.

I'm sure you could get to 140 without fear of the wind blowing you away. Is your DH overweight at all? Is he suffering because you are forcing him to eat veggies and lean protein?

How old are you? and since I, too, am 5'3", I'm curious what size clothes are you are wearing? About 10 years ago I got down to about 135 and was wearing size 6s and felt really good. I was almost 40 at the time. I'd love to see that number again, but realize 10 years later that may not be realistic...but I think it would be a great weight for me for all sorts of aging health reazsons. Right now at 160, I'm wearing 14s and would be happy to get to the 8s again.
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Old 08-03-2007, 03:50 PM   #8
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Hi Tina
First off, weigh to go on your results (pun intended). I am amazed at my family, in a good sense mostly, at how much they all say, stop you are getting too thin..I'm not in this at all to be unhealthy but would still like a bit more off.. I think it' so drastic for some that have known me the last 20 plus years topping 250lbs that any loss to them now looks very dramatic. I am between 155-160 and would really like to get to 150 but not because of a number really just to see if I can lose a bit more of the extra padding. I say you have to go with your gut (no pun intended this time!) and see where you feel comfortable. I have decided this summer and now that I am on maintenance to ease up a bit on the rigidness of my planning and try to live a bit. So I usually indulge a bit on weekend with my liquid starch or fruit, maybe have an extra appetizer or some extra protein or salad dressing but still have not hit Dairy Queen (walked right by it today folks) and still make good food choices. You have to feel good in your own skin and the hard part is that we have to pick a 'number' to get to goal but really our goal is in our own personal satisfaction.. keep up the great work and again maybe see what the doc says.. your body and your mind will tell you the rest.
Bless the DH's and family that start to get worried.. but where was my DH when I ordered a Whopper with cheese?? Wait a minute he was in the drivers seat getting us a super size fries!!
xo
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Old 08-03-2007, 03:59 PM   #9
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Thanks, Kristen.

Joni - My DH isn't overweight at all...he's actually been blessed with a great metabolism. As far as the eating, he is actually a healthier eater than me. He eats vegetables all the time, even on days that he eats a whopper or something bad, he can still manage to offset the bad with good.

I'll be 36 on the 10th. I am wearing a size 10. I can squeeze into some 8's, but they're still a little snug. When I was in the 130's, I was wearing a 6...same as you.

The funny part (kinda funny) about this whole thing is that I can almost guarantee you that when I get home and bring this up, he'll be like "Oh honey, I didn't mean to discourage you...I didn't mean anything by it".
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Old 08-03-2007, 07:53 PM   #10
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hi--- i am new to lawl....but of course not to the struggle of weight loss....
i may be a little late chiming in, but what i was thinking is try 140 and see how that looks and feels....i think you want to get where you are comfortable and where you can maintain pretty easy.
I do believe as we get a bit older (not that you are) being too thin makes a person look a little bit older, but as you said you are still in your mid 30's, so you are good.
i am 42, 5'2", 183....my goal for right now is 140. About a year and a half ago, i got down to 160 and thought i looked pretty good...but it is all relevant before that i had hung closer to 200.

anyway, congrats on your weightloss, i have enjoyed this board and look forward to being successful.

Chris
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Old 08-03-2007, 09:48 PM   #11
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I know I am a little late in the process, but I would like to add
my 2 cents. Again everyone has given you excellent advice.

First off, you have been doing so well recently and I think you need to take that into consideration. It is not like you have stalled and are fighting to drop ounces a week.

Second of all, one thing that I have been looking at is BMI. I would like, if possible, to "lose" the designation of overweight. For me to do that, at 5'2" I would have to reach 136.

You and others (Nicole and Joni) have mentioned a weight of 140 for you. Interestingly enough, for someone who is 5'3", 140 is the weight at which you would no longer be considered overweight.

Something else to consider - When I was put on the new program, I was given Plan 2 per my height and current weight. I asked at what weight I would go to Plan 1 and I was told it would be 138. I know that you are on purple without lites now, but it is my guess that at your height, you would go to a lower food plan at about 140 or a few pounds more than that.
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Old 08-03-2007, 10:38 PM   #12
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I know I am a little late but I thought I would put my 2 cents in also. I originally had my goal weight at 130 but recently changed it to 140 because even though I am not that old I have had 2 children and my body and metabolism is way different than when I was in college at 130. I am happy now I am able to fit into most of my old clothes now but they will fit better after 12 more lbs are off. Good luck with your decision I am sure you will be happy with whatever you decide and your DH will love you no matter what choice you make.
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Old 08-04-2007, 11:31 AM   #13
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One other thing to consider: Perhaps it is your DH who is beginning to feel insecure about your weight loss. You are getting thinner and sexier, probably turning more and more heads of the opposite sex. You have no intention of leaving DH but deep down (and he may not even consciously realize it), he could be threatened that his thinner wife could leave him.

The same could be true with family and friends. All this time you were the "fat" family member or "fat" friend. Those who are insecure are now threatened because you are becoming the "thin" friend....and perhaps they are the "fatter" friend.

The bottom line is that you have to do what is healthy for you. I would say that 155 is still a bit too heavy for someone of 5'3". If nothing else, when people say you are "too thin", tell them "my doctor doesn't think so".

As for DH, give him lots of love and reassurance that you are his wife...through thick and thin (pun intended). Good luck in whatever you decide to do.
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Old 08-13-2007, 09:41 AM   #14
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Take it from me! Do what makes you happy! Your body! As long as you are being realistic - then go for it! Sometimes if you drop down too low, it is really hard to maintain and thus the climb back to overweight begins. Been there! done that, have the t-shirt!
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Old 08-13-2007, 09:43 AM   #15
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OOps - I have more to say!
Yes, we want to lose weight but we want to maintain our weight loss which is harder to do. I maintained my weight loss for 16 years! And then, bang, remarried, too many nice dinners/wine and i regained 40 lbs over the last 5 years!!! Now, have to start all over!
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