I've cut all but whole grain, high fiber carbs, and try to eat no more than 100 - 150 grams of carbs daily (100 g of starchy carbs which I count, and carbs from fruits and vegetables, which I don't count). I'm not calorie counting right now because I'm losing well enough as it stands. If I plateau, I may have to change things around, but for now, it's working well for me.
My husband loves all dairy (I think here in Wisconsin it's a law or something), I usually only have milk with breakfast cereal, which I also don't care for all that much. Since moving here I have become fond of cheese, but for me a very little goes a long way, so it's actually been a dieting help rather than hindrance. Still, I portion it out carefully (just like I do nuts) because it's easy to overindulge if you're not paying attention.
For me, lower carb has kept me from blood sugar spikes, and satisfy hunger much longer. I am very careful, though to keep fat intake moderate, as too much fat will give me stomache problems.
I think it is much easier to believe that the "perfect balance" varies from person to person than the idea that there is one perfect diet out there that is best for everyone regardless of their activity level, age, health, environment, and heredity.