For the past week my eating has been out of control. I've been binging at night...getting out of bed one, two, or three times a night to eat...then I have to prop myself up in the bed so I don't get heartburn.
My eating during the day hasn't been bad until today. We ordered a pizza which is something we only do a few times a year. My night eating is sabotaging all my efforts. I have even been working out at the gym and doing workouts at home so I don't feel like I am lazy because I like to exercise. I am just so frustrated.
What the *&$@ is wrong with me! I feel and look heavier since this time last week. I haven't been to the COD in almost 2 weeks. I am so close to goal (144 lbs). I got down to 151 lbs in December, got up to 160 by New Year's, back down to 152.5 and I now after this week of nonstop eating I am afraid to get on the scale. I am out of lites and I'll be da#@ed if I am going to COD to weigh in several pounds heavier than I did not even 2 weeks ago.
My plan is to NOT get up and eat during the night. I may have to lock up my food to do this. When I get up from bed I am not fully aware of what I am doing. I intend to just have a small snack but it turns into a binge. I will weigh myself in the morning first thing when I get up to see exactly where I am. I am terrified to see the number even though once I "get back on track" I will lose at least 5 pounds just from all the extra sodium I've consumed. I need a new challenge. My birthday is coming up so I am going to challenge myself to stay pop for the next 9 weeks so I can finally be at my goal by my birthday. I have been working on my weight loss transformation for almost 2 years. I've lost 60 but these last 10 are so hard to get off. Please give me any advice or tips...I need it.
OK, take a deep breath. You have lost a tremendous amount of weight! Congrats! Have you had this happen before where you are close to your goal and binge? In the beginning did you binge after losing enough weight for people to notice?
Is it possible that your savatoging yourself when you get close to your goals? Are you affraid of what your life will be like once you get there. What will it be like when your not working towards a goal, so your savatoging yourself because being overweight and losing has become a part of your identity and you won't know what to do?
Just somethings to think about. Try making fitness goals to have once you reach your goal weight.
If all else fails put a big cow bell on your bedroom door or the fridge so the whole house is alarmed when you open that door. There is no such thing as a snack in the middle of the night so stop saying that to yourself!
Although you want to be pop every single day for your goal, start with mini goals first, so it won't seem so discouraging. Instead of saying I will stay POP for 9 weeks, start with I will stay for one day, one week, one month. Work your way up and it wont' be so discouraging.
Is there something else you can do in the middle of the night when you're not sleeping? Such as a hobby -- scrapbook, quilting, paint your nails, anything to keep your hands busy. Instead of reaching for the snack first, grab a bottle of water. Try reaching for veggies, or SF jello.
Just some suggestions ...
Regardless of whatever gain you might see, you need to go to the COD. Whenever we skip a WI because of we might see a gain on the scale we are sabotaging ourself. The gain is still there whether or not you go to the COD. Seeing it at the COD will give you the opportunity to discuss this with your counselor and get it under control. It's a pattern for failure that you set yourself up for when you skip your scheduled weigh ins. You think you have a 1/2lb gain so you skip WI and you tell yourself you'll go in the next day or two. Then, you have a few more BLTs and you are up 3/4lb and you tell yourself one more day. Next thing you know it's 2 weeks and you are up a few pounds. I think going to the COD nips a gaining trend in the bud. Just my opinion.
That is great advice Cassi, I have been BLTing all over the place for about a week now...ugh. I need to get back on track, I want to reach my half way goal mark by time April comes. I am supposed to be down about 40lbs by tax day....wooooo hooooo!!! Instead of FAT I should be PHAT (Pretty, Hot, And, Tempting)...yessssssss. Anyways for the last week I have been doing horrible, so I needed that advice. THANKS!!!
A good clue as to why you are allowing yourself to binge could be that you have lost a bunch of weight and on a subconcious level, are comfortable where you are..
This was my problem (one of them anyway) a couple of months ago.. I felt really good about where I was and as a result, cared less about cheating. As a result, I was giving into more temptations, rather than letting my will power take control.
Cassi gave my answer.. you have to get back to COD. By not facing the weight on the scale you are shielding yourself a bit. I DID NOT want to WI after the Xmas holidays when I did indulge.. but hauled myself to the centre and discovered a 6 lb gain (as many of us had). So I sat with my counsellor and we went over the upcoming weeks, challenges and I confessed on this board too! You have to face the music to get your head back into a good place. Don't deny yourself the great loss you've had, but try to get ready to start a new chapter of loss. You've already proven you can do it and we'll be here to help pick you up and dust you off!
Bad week..haven't been to COD...(long post)
