[paw]

hi all...

I am new here. Just found this site today and could use some support. I am 37 5'4'' and 170 lbs. This is what I weighed after I gave birth 10 years ago to number 2. I had lost twenty pounds, got down to 150 and slowly it has creeped back. I try, oh do I try but I guess it is never enough. I look in the mirror and am truly disgusted by what I see. How could I have let myself get like this?

I exercise everyday. I do tae bo and aerobics tapes with weights called The Firm.

I do so well with not eating junk food and gave up pop but all it takes is one slip up and all the good I did in one week is sabotaged in one day. One of my problems is that when it comes to sweets I have no willpower. This last week I literally had no junk and had lots of water. Then I was at a party and ate THREE pieces of cake with two scoops of ice cream! I don't know why I just can't be satisfied with one piece of anything.

My self esteem is in the garbage. I want to barf when I get dressed in the mirror and see myself. Then I realize nothing fits me in my closet. Just a year ago I could wear an 8. Now the fat pants, the size 12 are snug.

Nothing dramatic has occurred in my life to allow this. I eat better than I ever have. Maybe those college days are doing a payback now.

Well I am sure I am quite the downer to everyone here but maybe once I get on the right track I can be more inspirational.

Paw

[189bgone]

Hi Paw
Hang in there. It isn't an easy road to weightloss! Take things one day at a time and don't let the slip ups sabbotage your whole day. I know it's hard but you can do it!!!!

[Marti]

Hi Paw--

You're not alone. A lot of us feel the same as you do and are also struggling to just get it together. So don't feel like you're being a downer, you're just expressing your feelings right now.

I have noticed the same thing w/my weight. It has gone up since last year and that is something that has been bothering me alot. I'm trying to get out of my "poor me" feelings and just work on myself. Really hard to do sometimes, but if I keep working on it, eventually something will happen. And I'm sure the same will for you too. Just keep trying. Sounds like you're doing great on your exercise. And every now and then to have a slip up on food isn't going to hurt you, just need to get back into the swing of it once it's over.

Just come here as often as you can to get support and encouragement. You'll find so much of it!! And I'm sure you'll be able to give the same back too!

And a great big Welcome to you!!

PS. Hello & welcome to you too 189bgone!

[Sweet Lil Vampire]

Hey there I am new too. I have and still feel the same way you do. Like someone is going to come in and take over and redo my whole life and make me loose the weight. I have realized that's not going to happen. I keep a before and now picture of me with me. I don't want to stay the way I am so I will get it out and take a look at it and I have the before one the one I want to look like again. That helps me.
I would love to be your buddy. let me know. Keep your head up, and feed off the good stuff your doing and don't let the cake and ice cream get you down, just let it drive you harder.

[paw]

Hi.. and thanks! I would love to have a buddy. How does that work?

Today, I have done really well. No junk food and lots of water, plus 50 min exercising!

I also made an appt with a nutritionist today. It is costly but it is something I just need to do. I need to know what I need to eat and not just do a cookie cutter program. This way it is tailored for me.

I have one month to lose around 10 pounds so I can get back in my school pants. (I am a teacher and we start school at the end of August!)

thanks so much and I look forward to having a buddy!
Paw

[lanabs]

Hi paw, I was reading your post and thought I would check in to see how you are doing. I understand the looking in the mirror and hating the way you look and think, how did I get here. Sweets aren't my downfall, but when I eat one piece of cake or anything, i can go for 2 or more.

Hang in there and keep going. Hope you are doing well.

[aerodawn]

Hi paw!

We're all in this together and we've all been through the "beat up on me" stage however, we just have to say ok I screwed up and jump back on the wagon. We're not perfect so why do we think that our bodies should be perfect. Trying to better ourselves is the name of my game and I also have 50pounds to lose & I'm 48 and 5'4" and would love to be your buddy. I walk and need to stay away from cheese and crackers and wine as they are my downfalls. I'm good all day until I get home and then I just don't make good choices. I there for whom ever needs a friend. dawn