[JoanofDiet]

Hi all,

I've been overweight since...oh...as long as I can remember. I'm about 5'-5" and 184. I actually lost about 10 pounds over the summer just walking and not eating after 6pm. Ok, I cut out a few quarter pounders, too. But I stayed away from the 200 marker, woopie! On the otherhand, I haven't had the guts to weigh myself since Thanksgiving.... But my clothes fit the same so I think I'm ok.

But I was talking with my husband the other day about how I litterally feel hate for thin women. I'm a bit of an introvert and don't have many friends. But it is fact that the few casual friends I have are overweight. I meet some very nice thin girls from time to time, but I actually catch myself hating them on sight. I never realized this before, but subjecting myself to the little deprivation of no eating after 6 seems to have made me aware of a bunch of emotions that I didn't know I had about things like this.

Anyone else feel hostile towards thin women?

Sorry for kind of rambling there. It feels weird talking about my weight in public.

Joan

[ellaswish]

Joan:

I have had feelings of animosity towards thin woman, only out of jealousy though. I have been thin and heavy and thin and heavy. I notice that people definitely treat me differently, depending on my weight, which does help me keep a perspective. Sometimes I am just directing anger at myself (for not controlling my weight, not noticing I've been gaining) at a thin woman. It's not her fault. I am especially jealous or resentful of those who seem to have such an easy time maintaining their weight, thinness . . . for those who make it seem effortless.

I have been overweight most of my life (starting at age 14). I am 5'-5", 190 . . similar to yourself. But I have weighed as little as 128 and I was at 135 5 years ago. I don't know how or what affected me to punish myself like this. I have had the normal struggles of everyday life, just like everyone else, and a few less than normal ones. But, I just want to care for myself like I do for everyone else around me. It seems when it comes time for me, I'm too tired to eat the right food, exercise, etc.

On the upside, I have been getting great support from this website and have been really working at putting myself first. I haven't been weighing myself yet, but I plan to start. I have been adjusting my eating habits, cleaning out my pantry and creating a plan. I am taking a real estate class which has helped my self-esteem. I am creating more for myself so I don't eat in place of what I truly need. Keep checking in on this site, there's lots of valuable information and support. Best of luck to you!

[JR'sGirl]

I usually tend to not like thin girls from the first moment I meet them, no matter how nice they are. I know it is just my jealousy. I want to be thin so much. I don't always feel comftorable around them either. Oh well, hopefully I will learn to deal with them better as my weight comes off.

[okie74]

I felt the same way , seething at their skinnyness.....but taking satisfaction in the idea that they are a batch of brownies away from being a lard a$$ just like me.......THEN....came Paxil......and now I know I'm just one run closer to being the skinny chic that's getting those flaming brownie eyes staring at me...make sense...........I enjoy the fact that I will have the curves that most women lust after.........

[JoanofDiet]

Oh my goodness. I had no idea anyone would feel like I do about thin women...or maybe I didn't think anyone would admit it. I wish I could see some survey results on something like this. Already I feel a bit better about it...and encouraged that maybe I'm not such a bad person.

Thank you for your replies.

Sorry. This carrot thing is so funny I had to click it. ha!

[OBsMama]

I love the screen name Joan of Diet. It like you are on a quest.

My kick in the *** came about two months ago when I was in an out of state wedding. I knew no one and all the other bridesmaids were skinny and I could not rely on the fact that people knew me, they knew I was smart and funny and they liked me for the fat girl I was. I felt so judged. Looking back at it I do think 90% of it was in my head but at the time it felt real and very painful. So after getting back home and getting the pics from the wedding and seeing how fat I was/am I decided enough is enough. They didn't make me fat, I did.

So November 1, I started doing something about it. So far I am down 9 pounds and amazing even myself. I realize that they probably have their deep down insecurities as well and that you never know until you stand in someone elses bridesmaid dress as to what demons they are dealing with. I started dealing with mine and stopped using the excuses, like I am smart and funny right, that should count for something or I know mentally I am a giant to them so what if I am fat.

Hello, I am fat and miserable even I don't care about my I.Q. So, up the 4 flights of stairs I went and I have been doing them for a month, keeping a food journal so I can catch my mistakes, and making myself excersize.

Good Luck on your journey,
Amanda