[starstruckintx]

Hi I'm new. My name is Uleta and I am from Texas. I'm 25 and the mother of 2 beautiful little girls. They are 4 yrs and 20 mnts. I have felt fat and ugly for years now. I have always been a little big. But now I jsut feel like a beached whale. My husband is about as much help as a maxed out credit card. He doesn't see why I am so unhappy. Why am I here you ask?

I want to do something about being fat, I know I can. The problem is that I jus have no motivation because I seem to be the only one who cares how I look. Honestly he should at least back me up and support me wanting to lose weight. But nothing from him. He won't even walk with me. I told him last night I wantd to do something about it. He more or less said he'd believe it when he saw it cause I have said it so many times. This hurt me terribly but did he care.. NO!! not one little bit. I am sick of being fat. I weigh WAY more than I should at 25 with kids or without I shouldnt' be this big. I just need support and help. I honestly believe this is worse than when I tried to quit smoking. At least then he was on the wagon with me.

Can anyone here help me? I sure hope so. I am not self motivated when it comes to things like this. I guess you could say I have to have someone to answer to. I have yet to find something that would help me. I just don't know what else to do.. Please someone help me

[Libby1972]

Hi Uleta:

I know the struggles you feel. I am there myself. For the past two months I have been eating a lot heathier and I feel a lot better. I have lost 13 lbs so far and I'm doing it for health and for me. That is my modivation. Also, I have a history of some pretty awful stuff in my family. Heart disease, stroke, diabetes and hyper tension. I am 33 years old and need to change my habits and my overall health. It's way beyond dieting and just wanting to look better. I want to live a better life.

I would love to have a diet buddy. I just joined here a few days ago and I need someone to team up with to inspire and vent to and vice versa. I would love to buddy up with you.

Hang in there.

[OBsMama]

Oh sweetie, a big hug to you .

You know what you need to do is do it for yourself. And you need to find that within yourself. No one can help you but you. We can all support you but you need to find your spark.

If your husband will not walk with you fine but he has to agree to watch the kids. You don't need him. He will only hold you back. Men walk alot slower. Find a walking buddy and have a ***** and walk session. I do it every Sunday with a very good girlfriend.

I just made the connection this month myself after seeing pictures of me at a wedding I was in. I was disgusted. That was my spark. Ever since then I have gotten off my *** and done something about it. The first week was walking the stairs at work, the next week was adding journaling my food on fitday.com, then the next week was ab and arm workout then last week was adding in a Nordic Track session. With every accomplishment, my self esteem has been boosted and I have taken on a new challenge. It took a while for me to put on the weight and I know it will take me a while to get it off.

I am married and have 1 beautiful boy so I am familiar with the pressures of a family life and mommy always taking the back seat when it comes to personal things. Heck, after ds was born I remember a week when I only took 2 showers!!

We are here to help you but only you can eat the half portions, drink the water and make the hard choices.

I'll come find you and remind you everyday to keep fighting.

Write down your goals. That helps me. Also making a list of personal goals can help bolster your weight loss goals.

Amanda
194 /188/180/140
past/ present/holiday/by next summer

[iwmonn]

Hi Ladies!

I've know just how you feel. The ages are different, but the idea is the same. I joined here a couple months ago, after I stopped smoking and gained more weight- brought me to an all time high. I'm down 16 lbs now.
My suggestion is to find a support group here. It really helps a lot. Other people care. Other people will help you. Other people will support you and give you ideas and cheer you on and pick you up if necessary..... and sometimes even give you a little kick right in the tushie lol. Good luck Girls! I hope to see you around! Feel free to PM me too.... the more buddies, the merrier
BTW, Check out the support group PIC's or Partners in Crime for an awesome bunch of ladies!

[fitgal2]

Hi Uleta:

Kudos to you for coming here for advice and support! Even if your husband won't "be there" for you WE SURE WILL BE!!!!! and to comment on your hudband saying " he will believe it when he sees it" well I think you should rid you home of all the UNHEALTHY food INCLUDING his favorites ( this may be harsh but maybe that is what he needs inorder for him to realize that YOU ARE SERIOUS!) you have to create and environment that you can succeed in. You deserve his support and well if he is not willing then you go it alone ( well not REALLY ALONE cuz you have US!!!), but you can't let him stop you from achieving what you want cuz in the end not achieving YOUR goals will start to spill over into other aspects of you life, like how you interact with your children. YOUI CAN DO THIS AND WE ARE HERE FOR YOU!!!!!

[madhouse1]

Hello! I read your story on here and I fully understand. I know you can do it whether your husband cares or not. I have done it once and now need to start over although not totally. I started out six years ago at 5'6" and 225lbs. I am now at 180. I was down to 162 and felt fabulous. It was hard to maintain though. I now have a healthier out look on it though. I am aiming to weigh 150 but would be really happy with 160. Would you like a buddy. My husband could care less either. Don't get me wrong he does support me though. He just tells me that he loves me no matter what. He don't walk with me or exercise with me or anything but that is fine. You have two kids (so do I) you will soon learn to love the solitude of exercise time and the energy it gives you. My kids are 8 and 9 now. I cannot afford nor do I have time for the fitness clubs, so I am going to use my tread mill and some free weights. I started exercising yesterday. Walking. I used to be able to run for thirty minutes at 6 mph and now heave and huff at 4mph!! I hate it but I will be back in shape Come **** or high water!!!! My wake up call was last weekend. My husband and I went on our second actual vacation in the ten years that we have been married and I looked at our pictures today. Also We were in Vegas and did immense amounts of walking and it hurt. YIKES!! Ive not felt that way for about 7 years and I couldve just cried. Then when we came home and I weighed myself I weighed in at 180. I was 173 the weekend before. They have lots of good food there.!! I am starting this week and have to go to the grocery store tomarrow. NO MORE JUNK--for any of my family!! If they want it they can get it themselves!! I am so mean!! We can do this!! Let me know what you think!!!

[madhouse1]

[AnVy1221]

Hi there Uleta. I think you've come to the right place for support. Sometimes it is hard to get support at home. My DH is wonderful and supportive but he's never been fat a day in his life and is constantly munching on something made of chocolate and that's tough for me. I have also had problems with other members of my family "believing it when they see it." I have found that this sentiment generally comes from people in my family who are overweight themselves but aren't ready to do anything about it but don't want to see anyone else succeed either. As I've lost weight, I have seen who my friends really are. There are those who are genuinely happy for me and cheer for me and then there are those who always say something negative (the first 20 lbs is all water, wait until you hit a plateau, etc). Even though you are the only one who can choose to lose weight - it sure does make it harder if you don't have people supporting you. You will always find support here. I love it because, if I'm having a bad day I can jump on the Internet and come here and find something to make me feel better.

[starstruckintx]

Madhouse I would love ot have a buddy. It seems by that one post I have lots of buddies. But I know I will need one that I can account to and know is there for me closer than the rest kicking me in the butt. My realization that I had to do something came a couple weeks ago. I have always known I was a little on the big side but when I saw these picutres (all I'll say is only me and hubby will ever see) I was disgusted. Literally to teh point I puked. Sad to say but so true.I still get kinda nausiated when I think about those pictures.

I just wish I could say that it didn't affect me that way. I'd love to have a buddy. What is it you are using to lose the weight? I was thinking about something simular to the Weight Watchers program. I'm just not sure how all that works but will figure it out. Well let me know you can email me or send me private messages etc. I look forward to hearing from you.
Thanks for all the support I knwo I can do this I just need like someone else said the kick int eh butt to get it going. I walked this am to the street stop sign which is a half mile and then back again before the monsters and the jerk woke up. I felt great after doing it. The hardest thing for me I think is going to be sodas and getting water drank and eat more properly. I just don't have much idea what properly eatting means. My mother liked chocolate cake for breakfast. A little history on me is that all but my father were over weight. My mother weight 300 pounds til she was diagnosed with cancer and began declining. She weight 75 at the time of her passing. My sister is heavier than I am and just simply doesn't care. Daddy wasn't over weight but he didn't eat much and drank all the time up until his passing in 99. So the only family I have is a sister taht lives an hour away. I don't mind cause we aren't the closest of sisters. I don't have many friends and surly don't have any with weight problems. As for having a walk and ***** session with someone that is impossible as I know noone close enough for that. My closest friend lives hours away and my sister well she's about as much help as my DH. or as I refer to him a lot "the jerk". Well enough for now I am going to go. I hope to hear from you soon Madhouse. Have a wonderful day.

[starstruckintx]

oops forgot the moer buddies the better. cause I am horrible at all this. I make a good supporter but I am horride at keeping to things myself

[madhouse1]

Hey How's it going. Congrats on walking. It is a great feeling isn't it. I walked again today. Was pressed for time but diid it any way and It Feels GREAT!! It may not feel so right away but keep it up. Soon you will get the rush from it. I did several things to lose weight. When I lost the most was when my kids were younger. I was a stay at home mom and we live in the boonies and I didn't know anyone either. So I signed up at the YMCA 25 miles away. They have daycare with their memberships and so I had a place for my kids. I spent 2-3 hours 2-3 times a week on cardio machines. Over a two winter span I lost a lot . During the summer I walked an hour a day pushing the stroller if I had to. My 2 kids are 15 monthes apart so that is a heavy stroller. GOOD CARDIO and weight exercise. Other than that I am a vegie lover--not a vegetarian. I eat a lot of fresh frozen and canned veggies. When I first lost weight I ate all lowfat and no fat and all vegetables. That is hard to maintain. Last year I tried the South Beach Diet. It has quick weight loss. I Lost 10 lbs. in a week but It is too restrictive. I LOVE SUGAR!! So I am compromising in the middle this time. I am going to eat low fat meat. Hamburger-chicken- roundsteak etc., 2 cups of veggies at every meal and then small deserts or treats here and there. I will let you know how that goes. The Major weight loss factor is exercise. It will do wonders start slow and you will be amazed. Don't push yourself or you will get hurt or burnt. out. I love the feeling a good walk gives me and I have come to love it alone or with my cds. I am 32 almost 33 and it doesnt get any easier to get it off but I believe that exercise is the key. I became a student about 1 1/2 years ago and that takes up immense time and I let exercise go and that is when I started gaining. I have problems with depression and mostly anxiety. When I walk or exercise the need for prozac decreases greatly. Maybe I'm just crazy!!HA HA!! change your eating habits slowly but I think you will gain the most from exercise. You should get a physical first. I am no pro but I love to read about all this stuff so I stay informed. Yoga is an awesome exercise. Check out an actual class before you buy a tape though. I used to teach yoga and I loved it but again didn't have time. Find a class that suits you. All of my students were my size and my age and older. We learned quickly to be confortable with each other. I feel as though I am rattling but I am typing so no one can interrupt!!!!! HA
I would welcome any input any one has. We can set up some kind of get together or something Star Struck. I usually am only on at this time of night. I can be supportive and would love all the buddies but I sometimes need a kick in the rear also and I helps to have others who are interested in the same stuff to help along. Starstruck next time your hubby says he will believe it when he sees it reply with "HIDE AND WATCH"!!!!!!!!

WE CAN DO THIS LADIES!!!

[starstruckintx]

Originally Posted by madhouse1

Starstruck next time your hubby says he will believe it when he sees it reply with "HIDE AND WATCH"!!!!!!!!

LOL I am loving you already. O k doyou have any messengers? Yahoo ICQ MSN etc. I have those three and would love to get together with you or we could use the chat room here. I'm not sure how it works but we could try. Let me know. I"m gonna stick around for a bit to see what you say. :smile:

[madhouse1]

I forgot to say that If money is an issue when it comes to the YMCA (here anyhow) they offer discounted rates and when you do some volunteer work they also knock off money from your membership. I volunteered by teaching yoga and helping in the playroom. You would be surprised what you get if you ask. My kids loved going also. My daughter had separation problems at first but quickly learned to love it. Also when my daughter had an illness and we had no insurance they volunteered to help us raise money to pay the medical bills. I met many wonderful people there. Anyhow enough about that. I was going to tell you a little about my family. Some say I came from giants!! My dad was 6'6" and weighed in at his heaviest at around 450 and his lowest about 400. His brother is the same height but around 500 lbs. They were quite muscular though and Poor farmers at that. They could walk for miles at a time. amazing. My mom is overweight and has struggled all of her life also. She is about 230 now. She and I are shaped the same all is in our belly and boobs and arms!!!! UGH!! I have a sister and a brother my brother looks alot like my dad and my sister has always been thin until her last baby and is still not all that big. She can still eat pretty much whatever she wants. My main thing that I cannot live without is sweets and this time of year is **** because for most of our family members I cook and bake for their Christmas presents and of course I have to sample them to make sure they are good. What kind of cook would I be if I didn't!!! Have got to go for now. I've really rattled tonight. Thanks to you all for listening.

[madhouse1]

I have msn messenger. It is under my email address of [email]

[starstruckintx]

mine is [email protected]. adding you now