[Chucklehead]

I tried to make the title just about say it all! I just noticed it's April Fools Day - but this is not a joke! I shopped for a BATHING SUIT all day yesterday and ended up buying one at the Maternity store! (I cut the tags out so no one will ever see and I wouldn't even say it here, except for the anonymity! The only person I told was my husband and I swore him to secrecy!) I also came home with an ab-lounge yesterday and a bottle of CLA.

I believe that I have dieted my way UP to 264 pounds (I'm 5'5")! My previous highest was 252 and my last loss was 50 pounds. I maintained a loss of 35 of those pounds for a year! Long story short is that I've gained it ALL back AGAIN - PLUS 12 pounds. I have put on the last 35 or so (BALOONED!) since October when I quit CHAIN smoking. I was a smoker for 25 YEARS! I have gone from a size 18 to a size 22 very quickly and NONE of my clothes fit! I'm also having lovely bed-soaking night sweats now too - Can't I just go ahead and CHANGE? NOW!

When people see me (if they haven't in a while) they gasp and I read their minds and see it in their eyes!

I successfully lost the last 50 on an old Weight Watchers eating plan from years ago and by going to a local TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) Group. I remember being so into the weight loss "grove" that I wrote in my journal "I feel like I'm cheating" because the weight was just melting off.

Before that I went to OA (Overeaters Anonymous) and did the 12 steps - I guess I am a compulsive overeater. I know I eat when I'm not hungry but I can't stop myself.

I have been successful on just about every diet out there! I am a statistic now - I am in the majority, the percentage that GAINS IT ALL BACK (and cries)! I have so many weight loss journals that say "I'm never going to gain this all back ever again" and when I read those old journals it just makes me feel like not journaling ever again. I mean, the words are so EMPTY and I lied to MYSELF! I even went to a Psychiatrist once while I was in OA and he said I was on the right track, to help myself by doing the group support!

I am so afraid to do this again! I MUST find a way this time to take it off and keep it off!

[curlylocks]

well a lot of us are in the same situation...(lost... gained) feel defeated.. i think by posting here and supporting each other... it will give us strength! I think so much of the battle is getting ur head straight... and staying focused.. and just try to make changes for one day... and let those days turn into weeks ....

we have a 40 somethings thread under support groups.. we are just gettin started also come on by... lol we can always use more ideas & more friends ...

[almostheaven]

I've lost and gained, lost and gained over the years. I topped 200 sometime around the late 80's. Then, at 37, I quit chain smoking (2 1/2 packs a day) in 2001. In 2002, and somewhere over 240 pounds, I decided to lose for good. So I chose to do it the slow and easy way, by eating healthy and adding in exercise. If I found myself slacking off on exercise, I'd try a different time or different location or routine...anything to pique my interest in it again. Until exercise finally became a habit with me, and eating healthy became habit. As I lost weight, slowly, I lost appetite naturally.

I'm now gaining again, but I think being pregnant at nearly 40 has something to do with it. Yikes! LOL But man is it hard to find maternity pants in a size small.

[Tam_118]

I'm going through the same thing. I went from about 145 to 235 in about 7 years. I finally decided to do something about it and I lost 65 lbs. Well, I quit chain smoking in July after 19 years and I left my husband in Oct. and the weight didn't creep, it jumped back on. I started at 220 this time on Feb 22 and I've lost 10 lbs so far. Oh, so much more to go! But I've started keeping a food journal and I make myself exercise at least 30 minutes a day, although it's usually about 40 minutes. It's hard, but I force myself, because I try to keep in mind how much better it's going to be.