I was diagnosed in Sept 2011 with stage three cancer which I ended up beating. I had bouts with being 20 pounds overweight but for the most part partly through a physically demanding job of cleaning houses, and later in life eating the right foods, primarily fresh or frozen veggies , salads and I grilled a lot and loved going to the gym. My cholesterol dropped, my BP was excellent I maintained a size 8 pretty easily. That all changed dramatically.
After researching the type of chemo regimen I was going to receive, and in the chemo education program at the hospital it was made clear to me that I was going to go bald and I would probably lose about 20-25 pounds. I thought about it and its one thing to go bald, but to see myself bald and a bag of bones was too much so I decided to attempt to put on 15 to 20 pounds before I started in a month post surgery.
I remember walking into this coffee shop that had just opened in my neighborhood and telling the girl I need the most fattening coffee on the menu. Tons of sugar and whipped cream it was yummy, then came Bo Jangles and their fried chicken and biscuits. This is going to sound ******ed, but it became "fun" to eat all this crap I was putting into my body. I exceeded my goal with total of 22 pounds gained the day I started chemo.
Long story short, I went into instant menopause, never lost a hair on my head, and did not get nausea. I experienced different types of ****. In my research I learned food could kill me now because of all the problems the country was having with salmonella, listeria, e coli etc and I chose to go on the neutropenic diet to protect myself and it consists of nothing but processed foods. I was horrified at the prospect but quickly learned to LOVE them and it was easy to open a box rather than chop veggies for a salad. So I gained another 15 pounds and at this point I could no longer hide the fact I was fat.
4 months after finishing chemo I hit the gym. I remember getting on that treadmill, scared to death tears popping up as looked down at my feet thinking about how far I had come. Turned it on and started walking. I was on my way.
A few months went by and I was doing well back down to a size 10, feeling great. I then injured myself at my surgical site in a yet undiagnosed problem and it feels like my guts are twisting and being strangled. I cannot bend to pick something up or I risk "it" happening". So now I become very very depressed and start grieving for my old life. I could not remember 5 minutes ago as a result of chemo fog. I could not work, I was scared because I was blowing through all my savings, and I tanked. I went to bed for 6 months watching netflix and somehow I never noticed I put on 50 pounds.
I woke up
a couple of months ago and am trying to put my life back together. However this weight makes me very self conscious and I have become a recluse. I have tried to this on my own, buy good food only to throw it away as I ate a bag of chips and 3 sandwiches and be starving in another hour.
That all changed last week when God directed me to Groupon I ordered my Personal Trainer Food with a coupon after reading all the reviews on Amazon I could not pass it up. I calculated how much I spent at the store and it was a no brainer. It came yesterday, I started today and all I can say is thank God for them. The food is AWESOME, I just pop it in the microwave it tastes GREAT, and no thinking involved.
I know this was long and I apologize. I am happy to be here for this next journey in life and I look forward to sharing my brand new life that I am building for myself
Cancer weight gain
