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Old 03-27-2014, 07:16 AM   #1
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Default Lost my way

Hi everyone,
It has been 4 years since I posted on this site. I lost 50pounds(25 kilos) between 2011 and 2012. I suffer from Lupus and had a relapse that caused the doctor to put me on a steroid, then I lost my mom, got laid off from my job and had a failed IVF try. So when stuff got bad I packed on the pounds...Now Im 41 and pushing 220 lbs...I have tried to diet and I work out a few days a week but nothing is helping.

I was 190lbs and losing, healthy happy and went down 4 sizes...I know I can get back there but Im lost.

I lost my weight at home with help from the gym and this forum. At this moment Im only working a seasonal job that requires me to be on my feel all day and loads of walking but going to weight watchers is not a option for me. I guess I just want some advice on how to get back into losing weight

Thanks

Spacecadet
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Old 03-27-2014, 08:32 AM   #2
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Hi and welcome back! Coming back where you can be supported is a great first step. I'm almost 37 and have a bit more to lose than you but I'd be happy to help you along the way! What did you do the first time you lost 50 lbs? I've never accomplished that so I'd love to hear how you did it. Maybe sharing that story will help you remember old tricks? Did you just exercise at the gym? Were you also eating a certain way? I am sorry about all the struggles you had. I swear when it rains it pours. Just remember nothing happens overnight. We are all here for you as well as each other.

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Old 03-27-2014, 08:54 AM   #3
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You sure have had a lot of stress going on in the last few years. I hope things will go more smoothly in the future.

Before i get to ideas that might help you get started, i just want to say, i have come round to realising that recognising stress as a threat to a diet as soon as it starts part of my strategy this time. I just had a short stress period and i'm just recovered properly now after three weeks. I didn't lose my focus on my diet but i lost it on something else but now i got that back, hence my complete recovery.

So keep that in mind for the future. One thing i do when I'm dealing with difficulties is get counselling help straight away. It really has an almost immediate impact for me nowadays. Of course it doesn't completely solve the problem but it relieves the pressure very quickly.

So back to jumpstarting weight loss. You've probably done by coming here. I don't know. I think we are all a bit different but two things i know is
1. Get your mood and wellbeing going well. Look after your sense of wellbeing in at least all other areas of your life. Seratonin levels affect our appetites and we can have low seratonin and not actually be depressed but that feeling of not being "good" could be partly due to low seratonin, if there's a big appetite and fatigue and sleep issues going on.

2. Quit sweets for a while if not as an ongoing strategy, just to jumpstart your diet.

3. This time, i think it was on my second or third day that i did a 24 hour water fast. I think that helped me. During that 24 hours, i worked hard on my mental resolve. And i would say the 24 hours was really quite hard. I would have made it to the following morning if i could have gone to sleep early that night. As it was i ate after midnight.

4. The thing that actually triggered my decision though was a decision on the spur of the moment after some period of time feeling disgusted with my new high weight. I was on my way to the supermarket for a late breakfast of sweets. (I hadn't had time to have any before i left home). then on my way i switched plans and went to visit a friend instead where i had fruit cake and cup of tea which took care of the breakfast appetite but after that i went home and started my diet and have bought any sweets or anything like that since. That was in early January. I'm quitting sweets for life basically, except with a couple of outclasses for rare occasions.

So those are my ideas. I hope you find something that helps soon.
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Old 03-27-2014, 09:55 AM   #4
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Be gentle with yourself Spacecadet (emotionally, that is -- physically, start kicking your own a$$!). That is a whole lot of stressors in a short period of time. I imagine that it will feel really, really healing to take control of your weight and get yourself back on track, so focus on your master plan for taking ownership of your life :-)

I, too, am curious what worked for you the first time....
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Old 03-27-2014, 11:10 AM   #5
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Hi Ladies

Thanks for your kind words..

In 2009 I went to visit my sister is the USA. While at the national cemetery in DC I fell on some cobblestone steps and cut my right knee open. The national cemetery called 911 and when I was being stitched up in a ambulance...They asked me what I weighed! It was 235! I started to cry and my sister was in total shock since I didnt look like i weighed that much. When we got back to Sweden I started to diet and lost 15 pounds...I then struggled for a bit until the doctor got me into a course for people who had tired every diet and lost nothing...It was a 4 month class and we used tools to help us relearn why we eat what we do and what triggers our cravings and such. It was helpful and I lost another 10 pounds....Then I did weight watchers for a while.. Got down to 190lbs! My lowest weight since high school in the early 90's. During this time we did IVF and that was my real motivation for losing the weight...When it didn't work I ate to deal with the stress...Then after being unemployed in Sweden for 6 years I got a job to only be laid off 4 months into the position...at the same time they found a blood clot caused from my Lupus and the IVF drugs....So I gave up and when I was put on a steroid i gained 30 pounds in 4 weeks.

Since then...this was March 2012....I have tired to lose weight. I was depressed for a long time and last year I got help from a therapist, I took a seasonal job that I found I love and was recognized for my service at work last summer....came to terms with not having a child and have been working to get back to eating healthy. I just cant seem to get past not losing any weight even if I eat right. On fridays we have sweets and I'm not sure If I'm ready to give them up? Plus my husband has gained lots of weight during the last 4 years partly because of my illness and the stress that comes with having a spouse with Lupus..I try to encourage him to workout/walk but you can only do it so much until it becomes nagging. I know he hates the way he looks but what can I do. I want him to be supportive but how can he when he just wants to sit home all the time and play on his computer. Sorry I got a bit talkative there...But I think you get the idea
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Old 03-27-2014, 06:55 PM   #6
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Thanks for sharing your story with us.

I knew someone else who had lupus once. She was also very overweight. But i don't know much about lupus. If you don't mind telling us, do you know if and how lupus impacts on weight loss.

Also read this article: http://nutritionwonderland.com/2009/...food-and-mood/ There are other good articles there too.

Also i've had long periods of unemployment and i know how it can make it difficult to get motivated and lift your mood. So it is a good idea to start doing some volunteer work. It can get you mixing with people and make you feel useful and valuable. And it gets you out of the house.

Volunteer work is good because they need you and so they tend not to treat you so rough as in the workplace. And you can choose your hours and jobs. I'm currently working at a local community centre where i do reception. I like it because a) the people are nice and b) i can take along stuff of my own to do when its quiet and b) its easy for me to have a chat with someone who's trained to listen when I've got problems.

I've done short stints at other volunteering programs in the past. I have always found it to be a good thing to do. I wish i had done more of it though but when i was depressed, oddly i couldn't make myself go and do it. But knowing what i know now, i would suggest pushing yourself a little bit towards this. Its much easier than trying to push yourself to find a job and there's not so much rejection involved. It will do a lot to lift your mood. There are usually volunteer networks but otherwise just think about where you might like to work and approach them.

Our hospitals even have volunteers. There work to be done in nature and outdoors. there's all the clothing shops of course. And considering checking out your community centres. People in the public service organisations tend to know where the volunteers are used.
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Old 03-28-2014, 02:26 AM   #7
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Default No more compulsion to overeat

Hi, I am a new member & felt compelled to tell you what I did to rid myself of the compulsion to overeat. I have dieted since a teenager & suffered with anxiety & depression for most of my life. Plagued with constant fatigue, last year I tried a wheat free diet hoping this would make me feel better. I lost weight, but my anxiety skyrocketed resulting in the worse case of GERD. What was so weird was when I overate, my GERD symptoms disappeared. My body just didn't enjoy dieting anymore. So last November after gaining 10 lbs in 6 weeks I spent $1,100 on a weight loss program specializing in hypnosis, mindfulness & a premise that diets don't work. Well, I loved my counselor but I realized I could have taught the program. I have worked so hard trying to stop my compulsion to overeat, that I was at my wits end. There was something I was missing. Going back 4 years, I had seen an acupuncturist for knee pain. I had the most incredible experience where after my acupuncturist massaged an area over my liver, I burst out into tears. I had not been feeling emotional prior to appt. Well, within two days, I was experiencing joy. And during that joyful time my compulsion to overeat disappeared. Unfortunately my joyfulness left me, but I was on a mission to understand the experience. So back to January 2014, checking out new spiritual/self-help books on Amazon I came across some books by a little known author, Y V Chawla from India. I downloaded one of his ebooks & after reading a few pages I realized he knew something about our minds that I had never understood. Our minds are programmed & they have a limit! Our minds are always seeking comfort, security & certainty. Also, when you are caught in any psychological disturbance like anger, frustration & anxiety, you should not go to your thoughts to get rid of these feelings.I don't want to misquote him, but after his "understanding," took root, every compulsion I had disappeared. I used to watch excessive amounts of TV, and loved to play slot machines when I had the opportunity. You see, there was my mind seeking comfort! We have to get used to being ok with discomfort. And all the crappy feelings I have, well, I sit with those feelings & don't figure out the how or why of them. I haven't overeaten in 3 months and I recently went to Las Vegas & didn't touch a slot machine. I've lost my sweet tooth, my body seems to know what to eat. I used to hate myself & I was hounded by my negative thoughts. My negativity has now released & I am experiencing joy. I also have so much more energy. Y V Chawla's understanding of our mind is so different than what I've ever read. It may not resonate with you, but don't give up too quickly. I thought that I would be destined to live with a ongoing battle with food (& my life!).
Thanks for letting tell my story.
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Old 03-28-2014, 02:52 AM   #8
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What you describe is typical indian approach to life. What you describe is very much like buddhism. Its about learning to sit with feelings and every experience we have too.

Knowing about it doesn't resolve one's problem so quickly for everyone. There is wisdom and usefulness in these ideas but for most people converting the knowledge into real life difference is still not easy.

Its great you had a major turnaround. It was probably what you needed to learn at that time.

Why did you choose this guy's books. There are no other reviews of his books on amazon. And you've bought and reviewed all his books. That sounds a little sus to me.
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Old 03-28-2014, 04:57 AM   #9
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Hi Pattience,
Gee, I guess it does sound suspicious that I am the only one to write the reviews. But honestly I found them by accident. I was just trying to find a answer to my overeating compulsion which has plagued me for so long. I must have 70 or more spiritual/self help/diet books. I decided to act (which never would have happened before) and put his name out in a forum like this. I have no way to know what people's reaction or replies will be, but thought I would tell my story anyway. I find life very interesting now, whereas before I always played it safe. And food sure filled my mind's longing for comfort & security. Thank you so much for your reply. This is a great forum.
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