Welcome! I wish you healing and health! 3FC has been such a large motivator HELPER for me, if you continue posting and talking with people, it will be for you too. Everyone here has been so so sooo positive and non-judgemental. It's like you could say the most ridiculous and crazy sounding things and people just come out of the woodwork and talk about it, relate, don't over react. It's truly a great place, and I'm glad to have you here.
Good luck to you!