Well, I weighed myself for the first time today in... god knows how long. I am 256 lbs, that's a lot more than I ever thought I'd weigh. And, y'know what? I'm done with weighing that ^^
About 40 lbs of this is recent weight gain from a summer filled with me giving up on caring about a lot of things, my appearance being one of them. I had a new years resolution (like most ^^;
and I ended up just stopping. I've always been overweight, and have always been really self-conscious of it. However, I've always managed to feel like I look good, now I'm just at a point where I don't really feel good in anything I put on. It's hard to say but, my fat jeans... are now the jeans that barely button. I went from a size 16 up to a size 20.
My goal is to reach 135 lbs, I know that's something that'll take awhile to reach, but I don't think I've been more ready in my life.
I also met someone, online, who I have very much fallen for. He's planning on meeting me, but that self-conscious part inside of me is telling me once he actually see's me in person he'll stop caring. I know most of it is me, but.. I suppose how can I expect someone to love and be comfortable with what see if I'm so obviously not?
I'm aiming to sound determined! I hope I don't come off as a downer. XD <3