Hey guys!
I'm a newbie.
I thought I'd introduce myself... (sorry, it's really long!)
I'm a 22 year old female from Australia. I have always been a "bigger" girl (although, looking back, I really think I just "developed" earlier than most girls so was regarded as "large" compared to the skinny girls at age 11 who had not gone through puberty). My weight really ballooned when I was about 15. It coincided with a diagnosis of depression and the start of my journey on antidepressants. I have nothing against antidepressants - they saved my life back then, but they also had a very nasty side effect of weight gain.
I am a comfort eater - always have been, my mum is too so I guess I learnt early on to gain comfort from food. So naturally my weight increases at times of high stress.
I started going off antidepressants under the watchful eye of my psychiatrist on 26 January 2012 (Australia Day!) and suffered through many months of really nasty withdrawals. I managed to get completely off them about half way through 2012. I graduated from University at this time with a Bachelor of Science (major in Psychology) and was faced with the prospect of looking for a professional job which was when I really started to realize that I was very unhappy with my weight. Coming off antidepressants, I managed to lose about 7kg (15lb) because I had extreme nausea for a number of months.
In late August, I decided that I really wanted to lose weight. I didn't have uni anymore and was only working a casual job so I had a lot of spare time and too much spare time is bad for my depression. So I started swimming. I've never been a good swimmer but I have large breasts so I find a lot of exercise really uncomfortable - swimming was one exercise I COULD do! I also adjusted my diet. Since August, I have managed to lose another 14kg (~30lb). And am now down to my lowest weight (about 92kg/202lbs) since high school.
During this time I have dealt with a lot of psychological problems of weight loss - including deliberately starving myself to lose weight. It's been a massive struggle, and thankfully I have a great psychiatrist. It's still something I struggle with at times, but I am trying really hard to lose weight in a healthy way now. It just frustrates me how long it takes to lose weight!
My philosophy on "dieting" is that it needs to be a lifestyle change and for me I NEED to be able to have treats. So instead of having chocolate every day, I have a small amount 2-3 times a week. I can't do these diets where you are not allowed anything sweet and really I don't think you NEED to do those things - life is for living and for me a part of life IS food (and some of that is unhealthy food). It's been really tough over the Christmas period and I've had a few bad weeks where I've developed a few more "bad" habits. But I have kept my exercise up and for once I haven't put on weight over the Christmas period (I haven't lost any weight, but haven't gained any either)!.
I don't really have a goal weight as I am trying not to focus on numbers. I have a bigger build, so I know realistically, I will probably always be regarded as "overweight", but I want to feel healthy. At the moment I am focusing more on toning up too - and muscle weighs more than fat (damnit!), so that sucks. But to be able to fit into clothes I haven't worn in years is an amazing feeling!
I still have a long way to go - if I'm honest I probably want to lose at least another 20kg/44lb (as a starting goal) but I'm trying so hard not to focus on the numbers as I do get a bit obsessed.
I look forward to sharing this journey with you all.
AvD
Hi all! New here.
