Greetings from Big Sky Country!
Hello! I joined June 2006, posted once & then disappeared. Things got crazy in my life with job changes and relocations and while my weight (then 199, all-time high 211) continued to trouble me, it was not my time to lose because I had too many reasons to engage in emotional eating.
In 2009 I was diagnosed with severe sleep apnea and the initial months of treatment with CPAP saw me drop down to 175. Then by early last summer I had reached 159!! And I thought it was only a matter of time before I got back to 130s-140s where I'd spent most of my 20s. This was achieved mainly through sleeping well, I suppose, because I was still pretty bad about managing stress and eating to deal with feelings.
Alas, last July I was diagnosed with an ovarian tumor at about the same time I'd begun a new relationship. I was lucky that the tumor was benign, but suffered an incisional hernia two months post-operatively and had to have another abdominal surgery. I was left terrified of repeat hernia and totally exercise phobic. Just after the second surgery I started a new & very stressful job. My new relationship around the same time became one where my partner's needs and those of his two young kids were being met, but mine were not. Partner was also a big boy with a big appetite and I found myself in eating situations that were really bad for me (lots of dining out) at a time when I was stuffing my feelings and thus inclined to stuff my face.
So here I am, back up to 200lbs as of May and loathing the way I look & feel. I'd donated all my fat clothes and now have one pair of pants and one skirt that fits, and blouses are all very tight. But I don't want to concede to this size!!
I started Medifast last Wednesday on recommendation of my older sister; she & my brother-in-law have lost over 100 lbs on it since last November & they swear by it. So far I don't think I've yet gotten into ketosis and I am already disheartened as I don't much like the 'food' and can't see staying on this long-term - I just like regular food too much.
I know I can stick to a sensible diet - I'm putting me ahead of everyone else for the first time in my life and willing to focus on just my needs. I'm single again & so there is nobody to sabotage my pantry habits or anything else. I also have very supportive coworkers, and that's where I spend most of my time.
I just wish I could be back at 160 or at goal weight & just faced with maintaining. The prospect of losing 70 lbs - or whatever it takes to get back into my size 8s - seems overwhelming.
Anyway, I know I'm going to need EVERY tool I can conjure to get there, so I came back here to share my journey. I've spent the past few days reading various success stories & I'm very inspired. I hope I can be one myself someday!
Last edited by desertgal; 07-31-2011 at 12:55 AM.
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