Back in the game
Hi friends
Well let's just say this is not my first rodeo. I have struggled with weight my entire life. A few years back I set out on a plan to get healthy - I lost about 50lbs by eating healthy amounts of healthy food, exercising and through finding support here, lbs were melting off of me, I had tone, I could shop for 'normal clothes' and feel good and look good, I was sleeping better - I just felt really good about myself - and I fell off the wagon.
At the time I was losing before I was dealing with a sick parent and a bad breakup - my eating and exercise was about me and was something that I could control an feeling better was really helping me through the hard stuff. At the time I fell off the wagon my next relationship was going through a downturn and I had a second parent become ill. I lost sight of every single goal I had and gained back every single pound I lost...+ about 10 more. I am officially at the heaviest weight I have ever been.
I've come out clean on the other end as far as my bad relationships go - I know what I want, I know what I don't want and I know I'll never settle and stay in a bad relationship again. My sick parents are on the ups these days so we are fairly drama free in that world. I'm pretty comfortable not using booze as a crutch through my issues - just making the conscious decision not to drink is working for me and I'm working on the smoking - though without trying I actually haven't smoked since Friday. I've been putting my weight and my happiness on the back burner for the past year while all these external things went through their process of working out...saying...'when this is done I'll go exercise, when I get a new job I'll quit smoking, tomorrow I won't eat Chinese takeout' well no more of that. It's just getting ridiculous and I need to just put myself first for a change. Take care of myself and my body and my health, cause as I know it's the one thing in my control. Today (ok well it was really yesterday) is the day that I say I will eat my vegetables, I will not drink and smoke, I will exercise - and I will let everything else that I can't control fall into place as I enter a more healthy state of being.
About a week ago I was up north and I hiked Mt. Monroe and Washington - which is not easy if you are in shape let alone out of shape like me.... infact it borders on impossible. What takes a healthy person 4 hours took me 10. We hit weather and I was convinced I was going to die. This hike was so much more mental than physical (don't' get me wrong I was huffing and puffing and stopping the whole way up) but my head cleared, I was forced to dig down to a deeper place to keep going - and it hit me - if I can do that I can do this. So as of today I am in a very healthy mental state of mind, I have set my first goal - I'm aiming for 40lbs by the end of the year as my 30th birthday present to myself (my birthday is 12/18) I'm canceling my gym membership cause I hate the gym and I never go and I need to do something I enjoy and have fun doing so I'm signing up for a fall Zumba class in my town on Tuesday and Thursday evenings and maybe an intro to Ballroom Dance on Friday evenings. I'm going to ride my new bike 2-5 miles 2-3 days a week and go to at least one yoga class a week.
So here goes - it's good to be back. I'm looking forward to getting to know everyone again. My starting weight is 256.5lbs my long term goal is 150lbs and here's one big green tea toast to my mini goal of 40lbs by 30 years.
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Dhani 
