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Old 07-08-2010, 12:35 AM   #1  
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Default Hello, I'm new and want to lose weight

Hello everyone!

I just turned 21 and I've been overweight my whole life. It was cute when I was a kid and waddling around in an overstuffed marshmallow coat, but when you're older it's not that great. My main concern is for my health, I need to lose 140lbs and the overwhelming size of that number is a little intimidating.

I'm that kid that's been trying to diet since middle school, but was too lazy to exercise and loved chocolate too much. It didn't help that my father "didn't see anything wrong" with my weight or my older sister's (who's heavier than I am). He was always thin and thought weekly runs for ice cream was a good idea. My mom is overweight too and struggled with anorexia in her adolescent years so she's been determined to make sure that we don't go down that path. She's been trying to get us to exercise with her and eat lots of beans, but it just never took.

What I eat isn't the problem, my mom buys lots of healthy food, but it's the quantity. I also looooove to bake. I get cake commissions periodically and everyone says that my brownies are the best, but the therapeutic nature of baking always comes to a terrible end when I can't stop myself from eating half of what I make. I binge eat, but didn't realize it until last year when I read the description on an OA site. I thought about going to meetings, but as a staunch atheist I couldn't stomach the 12 step program. I know they say it doesn't have to be religious, but that kind of thing isn't for me.

I don't go out of my way to get food. If there's nothing else yummy in my house, I don't go out and get it, I just start eating the stuff I don't really like or care about and it makes me feel worse because I'm trying to hide a craving with something I don't even want. I'm almost never hungry, I eat at the meal times and I eat until I feel sick at least once a week. It's like some oral fixation. Gum helps, especially if it's minty because it keeps my mouth occupied, but it doesn't solve to overarching issue.

I'm also incredibly lazy. I'll walk six miles without being winded or complaining when I'm with others, but when I'm by myself I just can't bring myself to get to the end of that workout video. It's that perpetual cycle of "I'll do it tomorrow".

My sister isn't much help. She listens and laughs when I complain and wise crack about my weight to her, but she apparently doesn't feel the same emotional strain that I do. My mom would probably love for me to start some weight loss partnership with her, but I've always been a very private person and I suppose I don't want anyone close to me to know how much I'm trying so that they won't be disappointed if I fail.

I guess that's another huge issue for me. I'm afraid to try because I'm afraid to fail and if I lose 30lbs and people start noticing, what will they think if I gain it all back? But now I really want to try, I want to be healthy, and I want to wear pretty things.

Anyway, I'll stop there. I'm sorry for all that stuff, but I didn't really realize how much I had to say until I started typing. It feels good though. I'll start posting here and hopefully talking to others will help me keep my goals.
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Old 07-08-2010, 12:51 AM   #2  
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Hi, Grape, and welcome! I am glad you are joining us. This is a great site for support and advice.

I am quite a bit older than you and have spent most of my life trying to lose weight. I am finally doing it successfully. Here's the thing: losing weight will never get easier than it is now. It is always going to take a lot of effort, energy and (most importantly) dedication. The older you get, it becomes biologically harder to lose weight. And, if you continue eating the way you are, you will end up with even more weight to lose. So, now is the time.

Don't worry about failing. Just start and just do it. You will have days that are just amazing; you will feel so much better, you will fit into a size of clothing you haven't fit into for a long time, you will see a number on the scale that thrills you, etc. You will also likely have slip ups along the way (most people here do, I think). But, the journey is so worth it and YOU are so worth it. Invest the time, energy, and effort that it takes and I promise you will be glad you did.

You can do this; there is no doubt about it.

I wish you all the best with your weight loss journey!

Cheers,

J

Last edited by LotusMama; 07-08-2010 at 01:00 AM.
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Old 07-08-2010, 12:53 AM   #3  
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Welcome! Good luck with everything, you'll do great. I was always heavy, even as a child so i know how you feel.
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Old 07-08-2010, 01:08 AM   #4  
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Hi Grape!

First of all I love the name.

And Secondly. . .it is like you just told me about a great chunk of my life! I too would start a weight program with my mother, but I am extremely private as well, so I turned to the internet! This site is amazing, and I am sure that you will get nothing but support from these beautys. . . beauties. . . how do you spell that correctly? Anyways I found that this site is amazing. I have made many friends from far off and I get tons of support. Alot of the time when I find myself on a binge I now just turn on the computer and see what other people are doing, and if that doesn't help, I try to think of something else to do, my sewing machine is my best friend right now. It also may help if you find someone with similar goals and talk it out with them, you can talk about anything, fear of failure and what not is something that everyone needs someone to talk to about. And if you do lose weight and gain it again your online friend will not judge, only support comes from this place. I hope that you have a fantastic experience.
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Old 07-08-2010, 01:16 AM   #5  
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Hi and welcome to 3FC.

Good luck with your goals.

Hugs
Michelle
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Old 07-08-2010, 08:10 AM   #6  
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Welcome to the forums as you can see there are many here who will support you and give you guidance. We are really glad you are here and yes I have a picture of myself looking like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man!

Quote:
Originally Posted by grape View Post
Hello everyone!

I just turned 21 and I've been overweight my whole life. It was cute when I was a kid and waddling around in an overstuffed marshmallow coat, but when you're older it's not that great. My main concern is for my health, I need to lose 140lbs and the overwhelming size of that number is a little intimidating.

I'm that kid that's been trying to diet since middle school, but was too lazy to exercise and loved chocolate too much. It didn't help that my father "didn't see anything wrong" with my weight or my older sister's (who's heavier than I am). He was always thin and thought weekly runs for ice cream was a good idea. My mom is overweight too and struggled with anorexia in her adolescent years so she's been determined to make sure that we don't go down that path. She's been trying to get us to exercise with her and eat lots of beans, but it just never took.

What I eat isn't the problem, my mom buys lots of healthy food, but it's the quantity. I also looooove to bake. I get cake commissions periodically and everyone says that my brownies are the best, but the therapeutic nature of baking always comes to a terrible end when I can't stop myself from eating half of what I make. I binge eat, but didn't realize it until last year when I read the description on an OA site. I thought about going to meetings, but as a staunch atheist I couldn't stomach the 12 step program. I know they say it doesn't have to be religious, but that kind of thing isn't for me.

I don't go out of my way to get food. If there's nothing else yummy in my house, I don't go out and get it, I just start eating the stuff I don't really like or care about and it makes me feel worse because I'm trying to hide a craving with something I don't even want. I'm almost never hungry, I eat at the meal times and I eat until I feel sick at least once a week. It's like some oral fixation. Gum helps, especially if it's minty because it keeps my mouth occupied, but it doesn't solve to overarching issue.

I'm also incredibly lazy. I'll walk six miles without being winded or complaining when I'm with others, but when I'm by myself I just can't bring myself to get to the end of that workout video. It's that perpetual cycle of "I'll do it tomorrow".

My sister isn't much help. She listens and laughs when I complain and wise crack about my weight to her, but she apparently doesn't feel the same emotional strain that I do. My mom would probably love for me to start some weight loss partnership with her, but I've always been a very private person and I suppose I don't want anyone close to me to know how much I'm trying so that they won't be disappointed if I fail.

I guess that's another huge issue for me. I'm afraid to try because I'm afraid to fail and if I lose 30lbs and people start noticing, what will they think if I gain it all back? But now I really want to try, I want to be healthy, and I want to wear pretty things.

Anyway, I'll stop there. I'm sorry for all that stuff, but I didn't really realize how much I had to say until I started typing. It feels good though. I'll start posting here and hopefully talking to others will help me keep my goals.
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Old 07-08-2010, 09:17 AM   #7  
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Welcome, Grape! Both you and missnerd inspired me to want to mention books. I'm a private person, too, and the internet is great for me but so is the library (which would be why I'm a librarian).

First, I wanted to mention a book that I always think of when people call themselves lazy because this author says none of us are lazy when it comes to getting what really want. So the trick is to figure out what we want and that's what this book is about. It's not directly about weight loss, but some of the suggestions would apply to that journey as well as to other goals. It's called Refuse to Choose!: A Revolutionary Program for Doing Everything That You Love by Barbara Sher.

Next up, a couple of books that got me to plan and schedule my eating and, therefore, eliminated the bingeing behavior. Both are by Judith Beck. Her first one, The Beck Diet Solution, is not a diet but helps you stay on whatever diet that you choose (and she helps you choose one). The second, The Complete Beck Diet for Life, has a healthy diet in it. If you read either or both of those and like them, there's an active support group on 3 Fat Chicks for people following the Beck books. Join us!

Finally, I've found weight-loss memoirs useful. My favorite, so far, is Half-Assed by Jenette Fulda and The Incredible Shrinking Critic by Jami Bernard. You'll find others at the library under the subject heading Overweight Women United States Biography.
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Old 07-08-2010, 09:41 AM   #8  
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Hola! (I did my Rosetta Stone this morning) So grape just wanted to say that you are not alone! My father was over weight my whole life untill about 2 years ago and he had GB. And I felt like he cheated! Growing up my mom worked at night so Dad was home with us and it was always fast food and ice cream and heaven knows what else. So I carried those eating habbits on in my adult life too. And as far as loosing yourself in baking I do the same thing but with cooking meals for others. There were times in my life that I felt it was the only thing I could do right. And it brought joy to my life to see people enjoy what I had done. I know that I am new at this too so again you are not alone. Hey and if you lose thirty pounds and gain it back just tell them you were doing a trial run first to see if you liked it! Oh and the marshmellow comment was so funny it made me think of what my cousins called me growing up in the 80's (Ellen Ann the Marshmellow Man). So keep your thoughts on the up side of what is to come and not what has been!
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Old 07-08-2010, 09:43 AM   #9  
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Thank you guys so much for the encouragement.
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