On April 5, 2010 I decided that I was finally ready to lose some weight. It took me eight months of weight training at the gym to realize that I can lose weight and I don't have to be afraid to try. That I won't be betraying Fat Acceptance. And that I don't have to be invisible to men to be safe to live my life.
Then I met my husband, we moved in together and I slowly gained 120 lbs over 12 years. I never thought I would have 100 lbs to lose, much less 120. I'm afraid that I will fail. I am afraid if I succeed I will be tempted to fool around or attract abusive or stalkerish guys. But I'm more afraid of feeling badly all the time, not being able to wear what I want and not being able to physically keep up when people are walking.
In May I added a reduced calorie diet (1,000 - 1,200 cal/day low fat and carbs) to my gym efforts. I lost 10 lbs. over two months. This week I added Phentermine and a liter of water a day. I hope to be up to 2 liters shortly.
So wish me luck.