[aphimira]

Hello All,

I'm starting this because I'm not sure where to start. I don't have much for support my husband is a bodybuilder in his off season (which means he's eating what he wants and continuously talks about the future when he's going to lose weight....which is not right now ) I tend to gain the weight with him, and in the 3 years of our relationship I am now at my heaviest. I truly just want to be healthy so I have not set a goal weight yet. I want to focus on eating better and losing weight before I decide where I want to stop. Ideally I'd like to have a normal BMI. I'm currently at like way too high !

I guess I need some sort of a guide on how much to walk, how much to work out, I have Wii Fit and plenty of TaeBo (That's what I used to do!)

I've never been this heavy (304) so I'm not sure where to start so I guess I just need lots of advice and suggestions.

I'd also like an accountability buddy since I don't have much of one at home. I want someone one not too scared to be mean and tell me how it is. Because I'll say I'm going to walk and no one will go with me so I won't walk and I'll let them drag me down.

Thanks for all the help and suggestions and I can't wait to use this forum to learn and get to know lots of people going through the same stuff I am

P.S. Where do I get those count down thingy mabobs. Anyone have an idea where I should start?

[melwolfe]

You can't get the ticker until you have been on here for 20 days and 20 posts (I think it is) so just keep an eye on the dates and the no. of posts then you go into profile to set it up.

[Thighs Be Gone]

There are lots of methods. Surf around and decide what sounds good to you. I am a calorie counter with a focus on whole foods. I started out walking briskly about 30 minutes a day and increased from there.

[aphimira]

Well I have looked around and I found that calorie counting seems feasible right now. I used a website an individual suggested and got an absurdly high number of calories. Like 2424. There's no way I could eat that calories. That's why I quit WW because I ended up drinking calories to get all my points which is not the point and I felt worse on WW then I did just being fat'n'happy. I saw a variety of woman said they used the 1200 calorie diet. I guess I want more along the lines of how much activity should I shoot for a day. What is reasonable. Or since this is the beginning should I just shoot for more then I normally do that's I guess why I'm so confused. It seems so daunting.

[aphimira]

Thanks...I saw that after I posted it and felt a little silly

[RealCdn]

Seriously, you've probably been eating more than that to have gained weight. I know it's easy to delude ourselves (hey, I've been there) that we don't eat much. If you're going to calorie count, start at LEAST at 2000 calories per day, especially if you're going to work out. Give it a month, then adjust it based on what you're feeling like.

It's way too easy to talk yourself into starting lower with the calories, however, at some point you're going to have to lower them. If you start off too low, it's only going to be a problem later. Out of interest, 120-lbs down from where I started in Dec'07 I'm actually eating MORE per day than I started at. The difference is that I have tons more energy and do things that I wouldn't have thought of doing 18 months ago.

As to your question about exercise. It really depends on where your current fitness level is at. Start off slowly, and build from there. Take at least one rest day a week, and try and find something that you enjoy (or at least don't hate) as it will be easier to maintain. The good thing is that if you're interested your husband can help with a good workout routine. Women don't build muscles like men, so don't worry about getting bulky, just envision a better looking body when you get lighter. Good luck!

[Onederchic]

Hi and welcome to 3FC!

Hugs
Michelle

[aphimira]

Originally Posted by RealCdn

Seriously, you've probably been eating more than that to have gained weight. I know it's easy to delude ourselves (hey, I've been there) that we don't eat much. If you're going to calorie count, start at LEAST at 2000 calories per day, especially if you're going to work out. Give it a month, then adjust it based on what you're feeling like.

It's way too easy to talk yourself into starting lower with the calories, however, at some point you're going to have to lower them. If you start off too low, it's only going to be a problem later. Out of interest, 120-lbs down from where I started in Dec'07 I'm actually eating MORE per day than I started at. The difference is that I have tons more energy and do things that I wouldn't have thought of doing 18 months ago.

As to your question about exercise. It really depends on where your current fitness level is at. Start off slowly, and build from there. Take at least one rest day a week, and try and find something that you enjoy (or at least don't hate) as it will be easier to maintain. The good thing is that if you're interested your husband can help with a good workout routine. Women don't build muscles like men, so don't worry about getting bulky, just envision a better looking body when you get lighter. Good luck!

Thank you so much for being honest with me. I probably am deluding myself but I don't see it. I think I might snack my calories in here and there, but at actual meals I do pretty good. I also think I might be confusing thirst for hunger? I'm not really sure if that's possible but I always think I'm hungry even if I've just eaten. I'm going to try the whole trying a cup of water and if I'm still hungry eating a healthy choice. I think I have no idea how much I eat a day and that's the beginning of my weight loss journey. i need to figure out how much I do eat and go from there. I don't think I want to face how much I actually eat. I think I'm scared to write it down.

[RealCdn]

I tend to be a little more honest sometimes than is good. However, I do know that it can be sometimes harder to fill calorie requirements with good food. A single cookie can be hundreds of calories, whereas, you need a lot of broccoli to make that up.

It's really easy to be eating more than you think. Did you start the dinner dish with 1Tb or 2Tb of oil? Did you use 1 or 2 or even 3Tb of salad dressing? Is that slice of cheese 1/2oz or 1oz? Is that handful of cherries 4oz or 6oz? Even with fruit, enough of a difference and it can add up. If you can stand it, just start measuring and recording what you're eating now. It can be a little scary, and even I didn't do it before starting to lose weight.

As to eventually trying to hit a target, lots of people here can help with putting in a few extra healthy calories. A quick example - an ounce of nuts will add 160+ calories (and if you eat raw ones they're not quite as addictive as roasted).

[aphimira]

I love raw almonds! It's one of my favorite snacks and it's so filling. I'm not a big fan of sweets, I'm a real food girl. I'd rather eat another meal then a candy bar. that's most of my downfall. I'm definitely an emotional eater all at the same time. The more stress in my life, the more excuses I can make for myself to eat!

Thanks so much for everything I can't wait to continue utilizing the msg board to learn new things and gain support as well as well as offer support.

[Madison]

Welcome to 3FC!!!!

Excellent posts from Anne above! And someone who has made excellent progress - congrats to you Anne.

You have already made a GREAT start by reaching out here aphimira.

If calorie counting is what makes sense for you, then as Anne suggested, start at 2000 calories and see if that is ok for you. Plan out your meals using either fitday.com or thedailyplate.com (or any other system for counting cals etc) for just tomorrow (for now) and then start. There is a great power in beginning something.

Spend tomorrow following your plan . . . fill it with plenty of fresh foods that you love and ask yourself throughout the day - Am I really hungry? Was that enough? Do I feel satisfied?

I may differ to the views of calorie counters on this (I dont count cals), but I would not be forcing myself to eat if I am not physically hungry. Some days I am ravenous and others not at all, but it all balances out. The main thing I focus on is whether I am actually hungry and if I am I make sure that I do eat something.

Good luck with your journey!