[333bohemian333]

Hello lovely chicks,

I guess I should start with introducing myself. I'm 5'4 with a small frame 145 pounds and am in the middle of my weight loss goal. My starting weight I lovingly refer to as the 150lbs+ zone. Right now I'm still struggling to loose 15lbs to reach my goal weight of 130lbs.

There isn't a lot of support to go around me right now. The tendency to be overweight is high in my family so when I mention my goals I am not presented with positive support but rather negative feed back.The same goes for my friends.

How I shouldn't need to lose weight, which always turns into how I must:
a) have an eating distorter because I want to cut down portions and eat healthy
b) think that they must be fat EX. that me wanting to lose weight tells 'them' that they are huge by comparison...so here have some more dessert, candy, giant Starbucks coffee my treat, "eat, eat, eat".

Honestly I don't want to hurt any one and these comments just confuse me so I have stopped mentioning any of my goals, setbacks, successes to my family and friends. I have also stopped seeing any results, and am afraid to slip back.

Hope this was the right place to post this. And am looking forward to any reply's.

-B

[mamaspank]

First of all, dieting is totally a personal choice, unless of course, ordered by a doctor. Even then, you still have to work just as hard. I just had my baby's grandma make a comment about how I am looking thin, and she hopes I am doing it the right way and am I sick. I was sort of irritated because she acts as though I look waifish. I am 5'6" at 142 pounds. I have a very athletic build so I might look smaller, but I sort of feel like "damned if you do, damned if you don't."

I think it is hard to see a friend be successful at something that you maybe aren't. Your friends may be scared/jealous to see you reach your goal, that that would be validating their point. I try to be a little more sensitive around my friends that I feel might be jealous or down on themselves. I've always avoided saying things like "I'm fat" or brushing off a compliment by saying "Whatever, I look like a cow in that." I think being gracious is the best way to handle compliments.

Instead of being jealous of my friend, Amy, who lost a ton of weight on WW and looks great, I decided to ask her to help me start (didn't have a lot of money, so she hooked me up with all the info) and it was the best thing I did. Today someone made a comment about "did my boyfriend lock all of the cabinets?" I just laughed and looked at it as flattery since I definitely know I look healthy. Some people will be happy for you and others won't. I think it depends on their self esteem.

[Lovely]

Hi B

You've come to a great place for support. We want you to eat healthy & reach your goals!!!

Our family & friends sometimes don't realize that our losing weight is all about us and nothing to do with them. It makes them feel bad about choices that they're making... but we can't change that! That's up to them.

Unfortunately, that also means that sometimes we can't go to the people we want for support in losing weight. Because instead of "Good for you!", they give us "Why?" over & over again.

I hope you'll find what you need here. We're all very ready & willing to help however we can. We can't control what you eat, but we can definitely give you some virtual high-fives when you make good choices

Take a look around, post wherever you're comfortable. You may want to begin with the Featherweights section since you're pretty close to your goal!And please, keep us all updated with your progress!

Best of success!

[JulieJ08]

It might help to only talk about that you're trying to eat and live healthier as best you can, and you're still learning what that is. It takes the weight out of the question, and preempts the accusation that you must think they are so unhealthy.

It's really unfair for someone to accuse you of judging them just for making a choice for yourself. It comes from their own insecurity. Sometimes you just have to realize that you have to make the choices you feel you need to make. It doesn't make you responsible for making them feel bad. Truly, they are doing that to themselves.