[BellaHTH]

Hi,

I'm a graphic designer in Wisconsin who loves movies, reading, and being outside now that it is getting warmer. So I found (again) this website because yesterday was the worst day of my life, and there have been many bad days. I've been overweight my entire life (diets with my mom before I was 10, and various things after that). I'm now 28 and terrified and sad, but still hopeful.

I realized recently that my weight has isolated me from my life. I've cut ties with most friends, I don't ever go out, and I do not even like when people touch me (it is a joke with everyone I know, but inside it makes me so sad). If I could be invisible, I would be. I don't want to be a 60 year old woman with 18 cats and no friends and has never known love. I know it is going to be the hardest thing I have ever done, but I have to do it. I can't make any exceptions to this.

With all that said, I am generally an upbeat and positive person on the outside. I laugh easily and am quite sarcastic and funny (I've been told). I think a lot of this is a cover for my sadness and isolation on the inside. I know that I am the only one who can change me, and I am doing this for myself. I want to be truly happy and in love, and unless I make this change, I will never allow myself to have that.

So anyways... the the journey of a thousand (million bazillion) miles begins with a single step... *takes that step*

c.

[chay]

Welcome Bella,
We are so glad that you have decided to take that step and join us on our journey. After reading your post it made me think of the book "Confessions of a Carb Queen" The author felt isolated due to her weight as well. She cut ties with friends, didn't like to be touched, and also kept on a happy face. There are parts in the book that most of us can identify with.
Keep us updated on your progress.

[jamsk8r]

Bella, welcome to 3FC. What is your plan for eating and exercise? If you need any help navigating the boards, just give a shout, and someone will point the way. Otherwise, just jump in where you feel comfortable.

[BlzMaxGnrCCJkMly]

[nineteen]

When I read the title of your post, I thought to myself, "Damn straight."

Your post really touched me and obviously, I know what it's like....

(I don't mean to say I know exactly what you've been through; no two experiences are exactly alike). But I do know what it's like to be overweight (I was overweight my entire life) and feel like life is passing you by.

So glad you're here. Check out the maintainers forum. Lots of wisdom there. (Not from me -- I'm new there!)

Feel free to message me any time if you need some support or just want to talk.

~nineteen

[ouch]

Wish you best of luck =)

[BellaHTH]

Thank you, thank you, thank you! I need a place like this, people who have been there and overcome so much more than "just eat less" (if it was only that simple).

I will definitely check out that book, "Confessions of a Carb Queen". I don't have a specific food plan yet, I was going to check out the boards for guidance. I have an elliptical that I go on for an hour a day, and also looking to join a gym. I went completely veg (no eating animal products) at January 1, which has surprisingly opened me up to a greater variety of food (lettuces, beans, tofu, spices).

Thanks again for the warm words.