'Ello Heather
We're about the same hight and weight, So I know what you are feeling right now. Being trapped inside a body that dosn't feel right.
But everyone is different so what works for me (once I find it)..may not work for you. So all i can say is try, try, try. Everyone, has something that works for them.
I second the calorie counting. It sounds like a chore, but try it for a week. I thought I knew what I was eating, turns out I was WAY over what I should be eating. It's very important to learn how many caloires you're eating Vs. how many you are burning. knowing your BMR is a good tool. (the calories you burn just living, breathing ect.) I try to eat just under that many calories (which puts me at 1600 calories a day)
good luck. remember baby steps are better than no steps at all.. or impossible giant steps.
New from Michigan
The thought of "banning" foods from my diet did not appeal to me. Portion control has always been my downfall. I eat 6 small meals every day, so I never feel deprived. I do try to pick nutrient dense foods, and avoid empty calories as much as possible. I do love a glass of red wine and dark chocolate though - so I include them in my plan. 
