WELCOME back, tahoemom! I think many of us have had similar experiences. I went to my Grandfather's funeral a month before I started my weight loss. I felt somewhat embarrassed - there I was weighing nearly 300 pounds and seeing people I hadn't seen in years, when I was a lot smaller. I really didn't want to talk to anyone.
There are lots of places you could find a "home" here. What kind of program are you interested in? You'll probably find a forum for you here!
My 5 C's of healthy living: Commitment to conscious control, with the understanding that choices have consequences