Quote:
Originally Posted by canadjineh
Wow! I just got flamed badly for posting this encouraging story yesterday of this lady who is 90 and her fitness & weight loss journey. I find her inspiring! Apparently the discouraged 80 yr old poster was totally insulted that I posted this in the 50+ thread. Is it really me or do they have a 'problem?'
|
Because I'm super nosy, of course I took a look at the post you mention.
First of all... that picture in your profile. Absolutely stunning!!
Secondly... It seems like the woman wanted everyone to say "you know, maybe this is the weight you should be happy with at 80". Even in the title, she was asking people to tell her she shouldn't try to lose weight anymore. Instead, you were encouraging and wanted to show her that she CAN do it.
I know a guy that is morbidly obese. Like, 600-700 pounds. He whines and moans all over Facebook how he wishes he weren't overweight and could get a girlfriend and could just go do whatever he felt like.
A lot of enablers respond to his posts telling him to hang in there and he's a great person and not to beat himself up. Several of us took a different stance. We gave him tips on how to lose weight, explained how to eat healthy, tried to motivate him to talk to his doctor about how to exercise safely. To every single thing we said, he responded with excuse after excuse after excuse.
"I don't have the money to eat healthy"
We tell him how to save money on healthy food
"It's still more expensive than what I normally eat"
We compare the price to a fast food meal
"I can't cook"
We tell him about vegetables that are microwavable, like squash and broccoli
"I don't like squash or broccoli"
At this point, we generally give up until our next conversation.
My point is, people say they wish they could be better when they don't actually intend to be better. They bemoan their lot in life so people will give them a sympathetic pat on the back to make them feel like they don't have to try harder. They just want an excuse to go on the way they have been. They don't want encouragers, they want enablers. And if an encourager tries to help them be better, they find excuses.
The woman you responded to used her limitations as an excuse. It's one thing to say "Thanks encourager, that's inspiring! But unfortunately I have limitations and have to find another way to be an inspiration myself. Any suggestions?." and quite another to be so hostile and say "Why would you post that, terrible person? Don't you understand how depressing it is that other people are doing things like that when I can't? Go in a corner and feel bad about encouraging me."
You can't save people from themselves, unfortunately.
You are wonderfully encouraging, and we IPeeps value that and are grateful to have you rooting for and inspiring us.
Keep on truckin'.