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I'm Struggling

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Old 04-30-2014, 12:51 PM   #1
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Default I'm Struggling

It's been a while since I've been here. I was a true 100% OP person for 3 months...not one tiny little cheat ever. Didn't even dream of it. I lost 25 pounds pretty easily and was loving what IP was doing for me. I felt supported here, I was supported at home, I was encouraged to go to the end of this.

Then something happened...can't put my finger on what it was. I didn't feel welcomed here as much (not blaming anyone...truly...just my own feeling), I was traveling on college tours and doing my best to be OP...but was having "just a bite" here and there. I've been eating all of my IP foods as directed, eating my veggies and protein, drinking all of my water. But taking a cheat here and there, too. I was justifying it that it was "just a bite"...not like I was eating a whole plate of spaghetti or a big piece of cheesecake. But then it was 3 or 4 bites.

I haven't gained any weight back at all. I'm still down 30 pounds overall. But I know I'm not in ketosis and I know that I'm sabotaging my efforts by those cheats. I keep telling myself, today I am going to be 100%...and then without even thinking, I grab a bite of something. I need to get my brain back on track and be 100% committed again. I can see how easily it is to slip. I can't be a 90% or even a 99%...I have to be 100%

I have found that I need support and encouragement from this group. I need to feel like I can do it. I felt supported when I first joined this group and then my attitude shifted, it needs to shift back. I'm paying a lot of money to IP to not be 100%...and that's insane. I had wanted to hit my goal by June 1st and now that I have stayed this same weight for over a month, I'm seriously stalled and know that it won't happen by June...but I still want it to happen.

Thanks for letting me be totally honest with all of you. I need the accountability back and I appreciate all of you for reading this and for being there. I need this group and I realize that more and more.

Jennifer...back to being 100% fully and committed.
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Old 04-30-2014, 01:00 PM   #2
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Originally Posted by jendilly View Post
It's been a while since I've been here. I was a true 100% OP person for 3 months...not one tiny little cheat ever. Didn't even dream of it. I lost 25 pounds pretty easily and was loving what IP was doing for me. I felt supported here, I was supported at home, I was encouraged to go to the end of this.

Then something happened...can't put my finger on what it was. I didn't feel welcomed here as much (not blaming anyone...truly...just my own feeling), I was traveling on college tours and doing my best to be OP...but was having "just a bite" here and there. I've been eating all of my IP foods as directed, eating my veggies and protein, drinking all of my water. But taking a cheat here and there, too. I was justifying it that it was "just a bite"...not like I was eating a whole plate of spaghetti or a big piece of cheesecake. But then it was 3 or 4 bites.

I haven't gained any weight back at all. I'm still down 30 pounds overall. But I know I'm not in ketosis and I know that I'm sabotaging my efforts by those cheats. I keep telling myself, today I am going to be 100%...and then without even thinking, I grab a bite of something. I need to get my brain back on track and be 100% committed again. I can see how easily it is to slip. I can't be a 90% or even a 99%...I have to be 100%

I have found that I need support and encouragement from this group. I need to feel like I can do it. I felt supported when I first joined this group and then my attitude shifted, it needs to shift back. I'm paying a lot of money to IP to not be 100%...and that's insane. I had wanted to hit my goal by June 1st and now that I have stayed this same weight for over a month, I'm seriously stalled and know that it won't happen by June...but I still want it to happen.

Thanks for letting me be totally honest with all of you. I need the accountability back and I appreciate all of you for reading this and for being there. I need this group and I realize that more and more.

Jennifer...back to being 100% fully and committed.
You sound a little like a lot of us..."all or nothing..."

Its a good thing except when you beat yourself up! Learning to know what/how you need to do to best to reach that inner peace for you in what ever you strive for.....is a good thing.

You are just about there. welcome back.....
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Old 04-30-2014, 01:27 PM   #3
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Well, i'm brand new here just two weeks on...but still wanted to say welcome back! Forums can be hard because sometimes things can be misread when in cyberspace (ie...ask a question and no one answers or nobody makes a comment on a success).

IMO we all got here by struggling to make healthy choices and I certainly can understand how hard it must be to stay OP for an extended time! When we hit an emotional block in our lives, there's a reason, we just aren't readily aware of what it is. Forgive me, i'm a therapist in real life. Do you have any thoughts why you are self sabotaging?

Are you afraid of failure? Does food equal love/comfort for you (does for me!)? Is that there a hidden stress in your life beyond weight?

Not asking those for you to answer here...just things you may want to mull over and see what pops in your head.

It sounds like you are ready to fight hard again! Good for you!
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Old 04-30-2014, 02:18 PM   #4
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You can do it! Make a new goal for June 1, and focus on that goal. When the lbs fall off, thats whats so motivating. We all struggle at some point on this journey and can totally relate. But, when we white knuckle it through one day on track, then the next day doesn't seem as bad and it gets better. Try and imagine yourself in smaller clothes or just feeling so much healthier. Be determined to keep going. You have done great already. You know how to do it, you will succeed! I hope that this helps!
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Old 04-30-2014, 02:23 PM   #5
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JenDilly, I think you are a great success story. You've lost 30 lbs and were able to maintain it for a month; that's wonderful! I look forward to your posts over the next couple of weeks.
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Old 04-30-2014, 04:46 PM   #6
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Welcome back. I remember you. Don't beat yourself up. Give yourself credit for maintaining the 30 pounds and now get back to 100% to get the rest off. You can do this!
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Old 04-30-2014, 05:09 PM   #7
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Jendilly, I feel the "LOVE" coming through for you! I have struggled too, being such a slow loser, then staying the same for 4 weeks was just a burst in my bubble. My doctor checked my thyroid and my Synthroid needed to be increased, I sure hope I start losing again, but I have not been good for a couple of weeks, mostly because I didn't lose when I was good. lol. YOU have done great, jump back on the old horse. Tomorrow is May 1st, May Day & my 32nd wedding anniversary. Good Time to say "I am back in the Game" Good Luck
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Old 04-30-2014, 05:27 PM   #8
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Jendilly, I, too, want to say wow! you maintained for a month and didn't gain. That is great and now you are recommitted. Good for you, you can do this.
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Old 04-30-2014, 06:02 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jendilly View Post
It's been a while since I've been here. I was a true 100% OP person for 3 months...not one tiny little cheat ever. Didn't even dream of it. I lost 25 pounds pretty easily and was loving what IP was doing for me. I felt supported here, I was supported at home, I was encouraged to go to the end of this.

Then something happened...can't put my finger on what it was. I didn't feel welcomed here as much (not blaming anyone...truly...just my own feeling), I was traveling on college tours and doing my best to be OP...but was having "just a bite" here and there. I've been eating all of my IP foods as directed, eating my veggies and protein, drinking all of my water. But taking a cheat here and there, too. I was justifying it that it was "just a bite"...not like I was eating a whole plate of spaghetti or a big piece of cheesecake. But then it was 3 or 4 bites.

I haven't gained any weight back at all. I'm still down 30 pounds overall. But I know I'm not in ketosis and I know that I'm sabotaging my efforts by those cheats. I keep telling myself, today I am going to be 100%...and then without even thinking, I grab a bite of something. I need to get my brain back on track and be 100% committed again. I can see how easily it is to slip. I can't be a 90% or even a 99%...I have to be 100%

I have found that I need support and encouragement from this group. I need to feel like I can do it. I felt supported when I first joined this group and then my attitude shifted, it needs to shift back. I'm paying a lot of money to IP to not be 100%...and that's insane. I had wanted to hit my goal by June 1st and now that I have stayed this same weight for over a month, I'm seriously stalled and know that it won't happen by June...but I still want it to happen.

Thanks for letting me be totally honest with all of you. I need the accountability back and I appreciate all of you for reading this and for being there. I need this group and I realize that more and more.

Jennifer...back to being 100% fully and committed.
I can so relate to this feeling - and I'm a newbie. Last week was a zoo and I know I had a bite here and a bite there. I'm not going to beat myself up about it, because I know I have a lot of areas where perfection is expected and as a human being you can only be perfect for so long. But, I'm back on it and feeling good - walking away from that peanut butter jar. Phase 1 may be temporary, but finding a way to to be comfortable with who we are, the choices we make, and loving ourselves regardless is a lifetime effort. If you are ready to get back on it, do it and we'll back you as much as we can.
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Old 04-30-2014, 07:04 PM   #10
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Jennifer, I am slightly struggling as well. It started on Easter, I took a a day off plan. No guilt, I went right back on IP that Monday. Then this Sunday I went off plan again and got back on it this Monday. I kind of feel really guilty about this last one... I was worried to come to boards here and share it, but your story makes me realize I am not alone. Thanks for sharing.
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Old 04-30-2014, 07:45 PM   #11
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I feel for everyone who is struggling - it's hard to get back at it when you slip.

But all of us are stronger than we know - otherwise we would have picked a much less hardcore program to lose weight. We know IP is strict if you want to get the most out of it and we are all strong enough to stick to it.

Not always easy and sometimes you have to do it one day, one meal, one minute at a time. But you can do it - you've already shown your determination by choosing this diet and you need to remember why you did so. Because there are no really good options to getting the weight off and learning how to keep it off.

Remember, it's not forever - it's really a relatively short time to reclaim your health!
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Old 04-30-2014, 08:13 PM   #12
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Jendilly, Kontesenara, jSorrell and Bellamack,

I know that the struggle is painful and this journey can be hard. Perfection is almost impossible because life can get in the way. Just take it one meal at a time. Before you take the off plan bite, try to remind yourself of how you feel after. Is the bite worth the increased hunger, the $$$, and the disappointment? We can all be so hard on ourselves when we perceive failure.

Jen, I am glad that you are back. You did a great job on the plan. I am glad that you reached back out for support. I think that we all need it. The plan can be so mind consuming.
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Old 04-30-2014, 08:44 PM   #13
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Jendilly I completely understand where you're coming from. I'm an another attempt as well however I wasn't as strong as you, I gained most of it back. What keeps me going now is the constant question "you've craved that bite for how long? 5 minutes? How long have you craved your ideal body, your health, your happiness?"
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Old 04-30-2014, 10:12 PM   #14
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I have struggled on this program for 2 years. I lost 22 lbs the first time and gained 15 back then got back down the 15 and then gained it all back and then some. All this because I felt I could control myself but went right back. I can relate to slipping and slidding. But you have to also keep reminding yourself that you hare human and prone to mistakes. Mistakes you cannot afford to make
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Old 05-01-2014, 02:36 AM   #15
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Wow...the outpouring of support, both here and in private messages, has really helped me understand that I am not alone. Honestly, you all have boosted me today in a huge way and I can proudly say that I went all day 100% OP. I was tempted to go take a bite of peanut butter (love who said that...just as I was feeling it) but I didn't. I was tempted to take a tiny bite of chocolate. But I didn't.

I don't know what it is that has made me cheat here and there the last month. Maybe I was feeling like one bite wasn't a big deal. Maybe I was feeling invincible that I could have a piece of cheesecake and know I wasn't going to gain 5 pounds. Maybe I was feeling like I deserved it for lasting so long. Maybe it was that it was my birthday last week and why not celebrate. I've been getting more compliments lately on how I look, despite the cheating. I know a lot of it was that one little cheat triggers something in me that wants more. It's true, you can't eat just one. I had a few crackers and then I needed something sweet...and so on.

What I do know is that I love how I feel when I am 100%. I used to get headaches all the time before being on IP. Those disappeared when I went on this. And they've gradually come back...most likely from sugar. I recognize that now.

Anyway, I just want to say THANK YOU to all of you. I was feeling almost "black listed" around here and feeling like I didn't have much support or was relevant to anyone. Being gone from the board for a month led to me not feeling accountable to anyone, other than my coach and my family. I realize now that I need this community. I don't have all the answers and I need your support and I am deeply grateful for all of your sweet comments and feeling like I'm not alone.

Onward to day 2 of back at 100%...and onward to my goal!
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