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Old 02-12-2014, 07:52 AM   #1  
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Default WHAT is WRONG with me??!!

GAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

I have been on IP since September 3, 2013. I have followed it to the "T" - until now. Now, I have gone thru a phase of "I can have a little of this or that", until "this or that" has become "meh, why not more?".

I was doing so well! I was so strong and so hopeful and so pleased with my results! I no longer dread trying clothing on, and I am SO CLOSE to my goal!

Is this a case of being overly-confident? Am I just tired of the diet? Did I really mess up so bad I must return to IP Phase 1? I've been on Phase 2 going on 2 weeks. I am so mad at myself right now!

I have noticed that whenever we get a forecast of bad weather, I mentally think of eating whatever I need to in order to "survive" - like I like in Little House on the Prairie" or something!

I logically know what I am doing is foolish, and will lead to me feeling bad both emotionally and physically. I KNOW I have to change how I think about this "bump", and no, this bump will not thwart my long-term goals, but I am so frustrated!

If I had the financial ability, I would go back to buying food from my clinic. I just can't. The winter has wreaked havoc on my business - if people can't come to my office, I cannot get paid. Our BG&E bill has been much higher these past few months than "normal" winters. And then other financial stuff…there always is, it seems.

I just need encouragement, I guess. I wish I knew people in the Baltimore area that I could meet in person to talk to. I am glad I have given away my "too big" clothing - the threat of not having anything to wear is very real and pretty effective LOL!

Thanks for letting me vent
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Old 02-12-2014, 08:19 AM   #2  
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Besides maintenance, I think the last 10 are the hardest. Not just because you are eking out the last bit of fat, but it is easier to say, oh heck, I have come this far I can have....

Suggestions - write down why you are losing weight, all the reasons why your goal weight is important to you both mentally and physically.

Everyday renew the vow to follow the program. Sometimes every hour. Self talk, why are you doing this, isn't it more important than any food that you can have any time, any place.

Remember, you are not alone with this.
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Old 02-12-2014, 08:23 AM   #3  
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Weight is not a static thing. It's going to go up and down. Particularly for you ladies. You are doing great and you now know what to do when you get out of your track. Just get right back into it and keep going.

What has helped me, you and I have been doing this nearly the same amount of time, is thinking ahead... past IP. I've been incorporating working out and including paleo recipes, which I have found are very similar to the IP restrictions. I'm tinkering with the IP plan to fit me and my lifestyle. No gain is a failure for me becasue I'm just seeing what works and what doesn't. I'm taking notes if I feel bad after eating something... I'm tracking everything. I'm reading everything I can get my hands on with regard to other diets and exercise. The thing is, this IP is a bridge to you living a healthy life. So, don't beat yourself up over small gains.
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Old 02-12-2014, 08:30 AM   #4  
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I've been thinking about this a lot the past couple of days since someone posted in the daily chat that they'd had a bit of a binge just as they were getting to maintenance.

I've developed a little theory that we become afraid to fail at maintenance, so we do ourselves in before we ever get there. It makes me think of people who have been incarcerated for a number of years. They are afraid to re-join society; when they are released, they quickly re-offend so that they're sent back to jail/prison. I think it's all sub-conscious but very real.

I had my first NSV yesterday (someone noticed that I've lost a little). I should have been motivated and excited. Instead when I was serving out the kids' ice cream last night, I licked the spoon. I caught myself and was like what am I doing here? I should be more motivated than ever and instead I cheat??

Maybe a bit of psycho-babble but it's just something that's been churning in my mind for a couple of days.
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Old 02-12-2014, 08:42 AM   #5  
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zephyr - first off, a big for you! Sorry you're having a rough time!

I agree with the posters above, you need to remind yourself why you are doing this constantly to keep your focus - you've done so well!

I also think (and my opinion only of course) that for some people, the closer to goal we get the more scary things become and some self-sabotage comes into play. I know the closer I get to leaving P1 the more I think "I could have a little." I've managed to not do it and stay OP, but it's a fight sometimes. I think self-doubt comes into play - P1 is easy compared to having to make good choices everyday when all the food out there is now available to you. What if I can't maintain? What if all the things I've learned on P1 go out the window once I'm at goal?

I think we have to learn to trust ourselves (not easy) to make good choices - we haven't battled this long and hard to lose the weight to just go straight back to eating what made us fat in the first place. There are going to be bumps in the road and more battles to fight, but give yourself a break and quit being so hard on yourself. You are undoing a lot of learned behaviors regarding food and the undoing doesn't stop when you leave P1.

You can do it - you've already shown how strong you are. Believe in yourself and your ability to control what goes in your mouth. Remember, you are in charge, not the food!
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Old 02-12-2014, 09:02 AM   #6  
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The good news: You have figured out a big trigger for emotional eating--Bad weather. Maybe it triggers you to eat for comrfort or security. For me it's bad weather too. So plan ahead for that event...looks like it's coming your way again.
What ELSE can give you comfort? Wrapping up in a big blanket and watching a movie? Reading a book? Hot Tea? I really like the IP Jellie or a gellatine alternative in hot water. A small boost of protein with warm water.
I like to knit so I do that INSTEAD of eat.
I think the best thing is to say to yourself: This is a trigger moment. I recognize it, and I need to conquer it. Sometimes a simple "STOP" helps you take control.
So we have all been there, but its really great that you realize your big trigger point.
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Old 02-12-2014, 09:57 AM   #7  
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Zephyr you've gotta some good advice here. Don't give up.
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Old 02-12-2014, 10:51 AM   #8  
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First and foremost think about how far you have come and how much you have sacrificed to be here. Like you said the money the time the energy and above all the temptations. Now is the time to finish what you started and not give up this close to the finish line. Stay focused you are almost home. Also think of a reward you will give yourself when you get to the final numbers
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Old 02-12-2014, 10:58 AM   #9  
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zephyr, Have you tried reading the IP Maintainers thread? There is great support and ideas there. One thing that's helped me to understand & manage my tendencies to 'revert' is a book that Maile recommended, Brain Over Binge by Katherine Hansen. After a rigorous diet like IP, we are especially vulnerable to eating triggers that make us regain. This book made a lot of sense to me.

Low carbs and dark skies make it so challenging, let alone added stressors. You're already learning what many people face up to in P4: "eternal vigilance is the price of freedom from obesity" lol

Congratulations on your success and Hang in there!!!

Last edited by mars735; 02-12-2014 at 11:00 AM.
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Old 02-12-2014, 02:50 PM   #10  
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All of you rock - seriously!

The amusing part to this is, I am a psychotherapist LOL! I joke with clients all the time about how we're human as well and while we can help people figure out their stuff, we often have difficulty applying it to ourselves. You all have made excellent points, and have helped me re-think how I think - a bit of meta-thinking is always good!

Thank you all - really and truly.
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Old 02-12-2014, 03:33 PM   #11  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zephyr1973 View Post
I have noticed that whenever we get a forecast of bad weather, I mentally think of eating whatever I need to in order to "survive" - like I like in Little House on the Prairie" or something!

I logically know what I am doing is foolish, and will lead to me feeling bad both emotionally and physically. I KNOW I have to change how I think about this "bump", and no, this bump will not thwart my long-term goals, but I am so frustrated!

If I had the financial ability, I would go back to buying food from my clinic. I just can't. The winter has wreaked havoc on my business - if people can't come to my office, I cannot get paid. Our BG&E bill has been much higher these past few months than "normal" winters. And then other financial stuff…there always is, it seems.

I just need encouragement, I guess. I wish I knew people in the Baltimore area that I could meet in person to talk to. I am glad I have given away my "too big" clothing - the threat of not having anything to wear is very real and pretty effective LOL!
I totally understand what you are saying about the bad weather being a trigger; it is a warm, comfort thing, and a being home thing, too. And sometimes a boredom thing. You can make it through! I am kinda in the Baltimore area (Carroll County), but I know you won't be driving around tomorrow...at least I certainly hope not! Feel free to pm me and we can chat or something if you need some extra support. And, of course, there is a ton of support here at 3FC!

Quote:
Originally Posted by trinny View Post
I've been thinking about this a lot the past couple of days since someone posted in the daily chat that they'd had a bit of a binge just as they were getting to maintenance.

I've developed a little theory that we become afraid to fail at maintenance, so we do ourselves in before we ever get there. It makes me think of people who have been incarcerated for a number of years. They are afraid to re-join society; when they are released, they quickly re-offend so that they're sent back to jail/prison. I think it's all sub-conscious but very real.

I had my first NSV yesterday (someone noticed that I've lost a little). I should have been motivated and excited. Instead when I was serving out the kids' ice cream last night, I licked the spoon. I caught myself and was like what am I doing here? I should be more motivated than ever and instead I cheat??

Maybe a bit of psycho-babble but it's just something that's been churning in my mind for a couple of days.
Very feasible explanation. Congrats on your NSV and your awareness, too. You are on the way to successful maintenance!
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Old 02-12-2014, 04:52 PM   #12  
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Nice folks here. Wise. I have no advice that is better than what is offered here...just wanted to say it's nice here
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Old 02-12-2014, 06:09 PM   #13  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zephyr1973 View Post
All of you rock - seriously!

The amusing part to this is, I am a psychotherapist LOL! I joke with clients all the time about how we're human as well and while we can help people figure out their stuff, we often have difficulty applying it to ourselves. You all have made excellent points, and have helped me re-think how I think - a bit of meta-thinking is always good!

Thank you all - really and truly.
Love it! I had a good laugh!
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