Fortunately for John, he isn't offended by people not liking his comments (I don't think). Stick around long enough and you'll see he usually knows what he's talking about because he researches. He has ticked me off a few times, and sometimes I just laugh when I see he's doing it to others too, BUT I actually do appreciate that he makes me "think" and not just accept. He usually has pretty good info to share.
Bottom line: We're all in different stages of our journey, but the end result is IP works to get the weight off, but how we KEEP it off is something we all need to figure out for sure. Being around supportive people though is definitely important and as people have mentioned, some people just don't notice the difference at first. Thus all the "did you get your hair done?" comments. Don't worry about the naysayers, and enjoy the compliments when they do come-- which they will.
Always nice to have JohnP jump in and say basically the same thing your roommate's girlfriend did all the while saying "I'm not trying to be negative."
"Statistically" or not, whether someone gains weight back is a matter of the future. The now is someone trying to improve either their health or their image and people saying "you're going to gain it back" or "statistically, people gain it back" is not really what a weight loss support forum is for.
The roomates G/F said ...
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4Mom
"you will gain it all back in maintenance"
That's neither what I said nor what I implied. I'm saying that the idea of your will power and determination going on forever is naive. I'm saying that everyone needs to find a way of eating that they can live with forever because for most people will power and determination don't last and many people will revert to the bad habits and ways of eating that got us fat in the first place. If you disagree, tell me why.
If you think this is negative - that's on you. What I'm talking about is reality for most people because statistically losing weight and keeping it off is challenging.
I personally think that support comes in more than one form. You can wave your pom poms and cheer people on to the finish line and I agree there is a need for that. I'm asking them to consider what they're going to do after they cross the finish line. For many people phase 4 isn't going to be the answer. This forum is a good example - look at the number of people who gained back in phase 4.
4mom
I know you came here for support.
The statement from the GF was rude, esp for someone who was just meeting you. If their purpose was to make you feel like your accomplishments so far didnt matter, I hope the b didn't succeed.
I'm not sure why this has turned into a discussion of what will happen when you get to maintenance. The point is, the GF either has poor human relation skills or is a mean girl who likes to say non-supportive things when the topic isn't about her.
When a person is in the middle of the weight loss phase, yes, they need to be forward thinking, but this us not the job of someone they are just meeting
Maintaining weight loss no matter how one achieved it is the ultimate challenge. I found losing the weight on IP to be almost magical--it just melted off. It has been much more challenging to keep it off but I am figuring out what works for me, slowly but surely and am 4 pounds within my goal weight and almost 1 year to the day that I started IP in 2012. I rarely post on these forums but read them almost daily.
Part of me wonders about the "bigger picture" of the GF who commented about the weight loss. It is extremely difficult to interpret her comment in the absence of more context of when and where it was said.
I have read where people are torked that someone said something about their weight loss, they are torked that someone didn't say something about their weight loss, they are torked that what was said wasn't quite what they wanted to hear, and so on.
Anyone reading these posts on a regular basis is one who has had some struggle with their weight or they wouldn't be reading 3FC.
Maybe the GF's comment was coming from a place of pain and struggles about her own weight that none of us knows about.
The way I see it, if someone acknowledges or doesn't acknowledge at all in a negative way that it is jealously on the weight loss or the lack of will power they have to not do it themselves.
I must disagree. Not acknowledging weight loss is not necessarily an indicator of either of those things - I wouldn't even put those in the top two.
I have seen people who hadn't seen me since 100 pounds of weight loss and not mention a word. I heard from someone else they asked about it later. I believe they thought it might be perceived as rude, or that I would be offended by them bringing it up. Some people have been very timid about approaching me to mention it. Call it shyness, afraid of being perceived as rude, their own personality quirk, but I certainly wouldn't consider it jealousy or lack of willpower. Lack of familiarity, perhaps. But I think it's a mistake to automatically assume it's a negative thing.
It has been much more challenging to keep it off but I am figuring out what works for me, slowly but surely and am 4 pounds within my goal weight and almost 1 year to the day that I started IP in 2012. .
Congrats on your great success to keep things off -- this is the news that gives us all hope! Have you adopted a certain style of eating (Paleo, GI etc.) or just being conscious of calories in/calories out?
I have seen people who hadn't seen me since 100 pounds of weight loss and not mention a word. I heard from someone else they asked about it later. I believe they thought it might be perceived as rude, or that I would be offended by them bringing it up. Some people have been very timid about approaching me to mention it. Call it shyness, afraid of being perceived as rude, their own personality quirk, but I certainly wouldn't consider it jealousy or lack of willpower. Lack of familiarity, perhaps. But I think it's a mistake to automatically assume it's a negative thing.
I've had people hesitant to ask as I have a chronic illness (MS). They were afraid that my sudden weight loss might be part of the illness, similar to cancer - not knowing anything about MS, and concerned that bringing it up would be hurtful.
Those that know me well understand that I'm happy to discuss MS as I see it as an educational opportunity and I pretty much feel the same way about IP and the weight I've lost but can understand their hesitation.
This forum is a good example - look at the number of people who gained back in phase 4.
I usually don't like the tone of your posts so I usually just ignore you as I never feel like getting into some sort of post battle with you lol.
But for you, that's a pretty general statement......??
...separating macronutrients is not an IP idea (I'm sure you know this, not being snarky just pointing it out for others). And "generally speaking" anyone who posts on a diet forum needs more support or different support (I most definately need it lol). I know many people who've completed IP and follow the maintenance rules who do not post here.
If "doing IP" and learning my own body made me anything, it's non-judgemental on how ANYONE loses weight nor how they decide to maintain. Although you seem to have a general distaste for the IP maintenance rules...it can be a choice...I know I couldn't follow others maintenance plans. But I do not post negative comments about about how they eat.
If weight loss is the battle, weight maintenance is the war fo' sho'. There are numerous ways of handling maintenance within 3FC much less in the IP threads (which I'm sure you're aware of)....but we all support each other.
Back to the original post thou...I'll validate you! , it wasn't a nice comment! Chin up, you'll do it!
Congrats on your great success to keep things off -- this is the news that gives us all hope! Have you adopted a certain style of eating (Paleo, GI etc.) or just being conscious of calories in/calories out?
I have found that I have to follow a pretty strict P1/P2 to maintain my weight loss. My problem came in when 1 free day turned into 2 or 3 free days. If I had a free day and then got right back on P1/P2 my free day didn't turn into added pounds. It's when the free day turned into free days that the weight seemed to "stick." That's the best way I can explain it.
I think I will always have to eat P1/P2 if I want to maintain and then allow myself to enjoy planned social events and celebrations.
I also am pretty regular in my exercising and run about 2 miles a day and I know that helps with maintaining weight loss. I will never be able to eat whatever I want whenever I want because I just can't if I want to be at the weight I am at right now.
I am currently trying to do a strict P1/P2 and am almost back to my goal weight (only 2.5 pounds above after weighing in this morning) so I feel pretty good but it's been a struggle for weeks to get back on track and stay on track.
I must disagree. Not acknowledging weight loss is not necessarily an indicator of either of those things - I wouldn't even put those in the top two.
I have seen people who hadn't seen me since 100 pounds of weight loss and not mention a word. I heard from someone else they asked about it later. I believe they thought it might be perceived as rude, or that I would be offended by them bringing it up. Some people have been very timid about approaching me to mention it. Call it shyness, afraid of being perceived as rude, their own personality quirk, but I certainly wouldn't consider it jealousy or lack of willpower. Lack of familiarity, perhaps. But I think it's a mistake to automatically assume it's a negative thing.
^THIS
I think it's rather self-important to require others to compliment you. I thought we are doing this whole weight loss thing for ourselves? Granted, what the OP was faced with, being told she'd "gain it all back," was rude and dismissive.
Saying something negative probably means that you are jealous, whereas saying nothing doesn't necessarily have to mean anything at all. They could be jealous, or they could honestly not give a sh**, or they could be worried about offending you. You never know. But don't automatically assume the worst about someone just because they didn't say anything to you about your new clothing size.
Had a massage from a large lady. Wasn't planning to mention IP but for some reason or another said something about low carb stuff in passing.
Well, wouldn't you know I got an earful about how she lost 50 pounds and then put on 45 and I really better watch it because it wouldn't work in the end.
Then she goes on to tell me about how her and her boyfriend love to eat salty buffalo wings and he is the reason she's a big lady.
Can you see me rolling my eyes? Laying there thinking to myself, "lady, you are the only one who put the pounds back on you. He didn't force the wing in your mouth."
Furthermore, I know 1,000% one only takes advice from someone in any area of her life where the advice giver has successfully achieved the goal one desires.
Otherwise, you turn your listening off and walk away politely. For a person like this to think she is the be all / end all arbiter of the success of IP most definitely earns her a place in the Negative Nellie thread.
WOW...quoting from a previous post...For a person like this to think she is the be all / end all arbiter of the success of IP most definitely earns her a place in the Negative Nellie thread.
So her expressing an opinion turned into her being the "be all / end all"...geez...
Just go read the maintenance threads or rebooting threads to see how challenging keeping weight loss off no matter how it has been achieved...low carb...WW...etc.
I don't want to seem negative, I'm not. But it's funny how ppl come out of the woodwork to tell me how I'm doing it all wrong when
1. I'm enjoying myself and my food
2. I'm looking good
3. Doing something unlike the folks harping on me!
Arguing with them is pointless, so I just agree with them and keep on doing what I'm doing!
I don't want to seem negative, I'm not. But it's funny how ppl come out of the woodwork to tell me how I'm doing it all wrong when
1. I'm enjoying myself and my food
2. I'm looking good
3. Doing something unlike the folks harping on me!
Arguing with them is pointless, so I just agree with them and keep on doing what I'm doing!
Amen, sister!
Apparently, when we eat lean protein and veggies it's dangerous to our health, but what we were eating before was healthy?
, it wasn't a nice comment! Chin up, you'll do it!
