[Msbehaving]

Oh....I can so relate to many of your comments. Airplanes, seatbelts in other peoples cars, avoiding taking shoes/socks off, careful where I sit, booths at restaurants, awkward questions, fair and amusement park rides, etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc ....

I am changing my situation and hope to NEVER do those things to others. We cannot tell what a person's backstory is just by looking at them (skinny or fat).

[rofl306]

I love it that some of you are adding a good story or future goal to the embarrassing moments.

My embarrassing moment - Christmas concert for my child, packed room (of course) I left for a minute and came back to my isle seat in the middle of the room, not on the outer edge but right smack in the middle. I sat down to the welds breaking on the metal chair and a huge crash noise of the chair crumbling to the ground. I stood up very quickly stating "well, I guess no dainties for me tonight". They brought me a new chair but I really didn't want to sit on it in front of everyone watching. I was sure praying that the welds would hold me on this one.

New replaced moment - being offered a small vest as the first vest handed out for a diving group and it was in front of the group.

Of course the difference was 200 people, many who knew me, bad moment to 10 people, who didn't know me, good moment but I will take what I can.

Have a great day everyone!

[Alaskagirl92128]

I am encouraged by your weight loss, you look amazing!

Originally Posted by Halfagain

I totally hear you and understand. If I didn't joke/laugh I'd cry - sometimes I'd cry later. I was asked to go with the team from work to various events and car pool always brought fear into my veins. My car being two door I rarely was able to drive others, and I didn't fit into others cars or if I did the seat belts didn't fit (aka I didn't fit the seat belts). I would try and back out of the invitation or drive myself (find an excuse to have to drive myself) or if stuck with carpooling in someone else's car put on the belt and then just hold it across me in the back seat so nobody would notice I couldn't buckle it for a short ride. Our own cars it was more comfortable to buy a seat belt extender. I purchased my own seat belt extender for the airline, and made sure the plane type used the type of extender I had, etc. I fell out of my office chair reaching for something on the ground because I just couldn't bend, the team saw me do it. Going to a restaurant - hoping we didn't get a small booth where I couldn't fit, etc.

We are the same height, and I started out a bit heavier than you - take a look at the progress photos (click my name, view public profile) - that was in around 7 months. It seems so far away looking forward, but looking back it was in the blink of an eye. I need to update the photos again. I am in misses size 16 jeans now, from a womans size 30. I fit in the air plane seat with room to spare a few weeks ago, and the tray worked rather than resting on top of my stomach. I have had to move the car seat up to reach the wheel more comfortably now (less of a fat bottom girl, sits back further in the seat).

You are doing wonderful. Keep it up! The memories of the past will help us remember where we came from, and help us not go back there.

[WannaB2cute]

I hadn't planned on telling this story but maybe it will help me over this mental hump I've been battling. I got married in 2011. My husband has 2 girls. The 19 year old moved in with us. I had tried very hard to bond with her (we hadn't spent very much time together before the wedding). One day she brought the new boyfriend home to meet us and after some general convo he ask "are you finding out what the twins are?" Long story short she had been joking at work that I was "fat enough to be carrying twins" And he genuinely thought I was preg with twins. Needless to say my husband went off on her she appologized but it hurt me to my core!

[Halfagain]

Originally Posted by Alaskagirl92128

I am encouraged by your weight loss, you look amazing!

:-) I am inspired by everyone here. It's a such a great place to get encouragement. Thank you.

[markhenry]

My pet peeve- people calling me "big guy". Drove me nuts, it's as though they couldn't see past my obesity (no pun intended).

[newday2013]

Originally Posted by WannaB2cute

I hadn't planned on telling this story but maybe it will help me over this mental hump I've been battling. I got married in 2011. My husband has 2 girls. The 19 year old moved in with us. I had tried very hard to bond with her (we hadn't spent very much time together before the wedding). One day she brought the new boyfriend home to meet us and after some general convo he ask "are you finding out what the twins are?" Long story short she had been joking at work that I was "fat enough to be carrying twins" And he genuinely thought I was preg with twins. Needless to say my husband went off on her she appologized but it hurt me to my core!

Kids are cruel...but your stepdaughter takes the cake

[WannaB2cute]

@newday.... Yea I usually can take the insults laugh them off and cry privately later but this one was just mean. I try my best to make it motivation but I don't think can ever put the effort into the relationship like I did before. She has since moved out so not having to see her is easier for me. She now lives in another state so I'd like to think when she sees me after goal Ill feel like "haha showed you" but at the same time I feel like she may feel like my loss is due to credit of her. Just a lot of mixed emotions there.

[Ishbel]

...you've all inspired me...I don't usually share these things...

I was taking a safety course and it required a specialized suit. The usual suit didn't fit me, ok it did but I couldn't move in it (I would have split it). So one of the instructors quietly came over to me and said "I think we have something that will fit you how tall are you" (he was actually whispering) so I told him and I thought "wow, he's very nice, how gentle and sweet is that". So then I put on my suit.

Now picture this. I'm the only one in this particular suit. We're all standing in a circle getting ready to hear what we're going to learn next. So there are approximately 30 of us in the circle. So the 'gentle/sweet' guy steps into the middle of the circle and announces (with a very raised voice so everyone would stop chatting)..."Can I have your attention EVERYONE, if you have someone who doesn't fit the XX suit you can put them in the X suit" and pointed directly at me. The entire class all turned and looked at me!!! Not one person said a word, they all stared and there was this awkward silence. Each and every ONE of them...all 58 eyes from the students and 5+ instructors!!...I just looked around and said (with a laugh) "OK...!!!....everyone stop looking at the chubby one!!! and then laughed. I brushed it off with a laugh....but I was mortified, crushed and embarrassed...and I thought he was being gentle.

I was tired of making jokes about my weight, to help people and me not feel awkward about it.

New moment (there are many now).....but the day I was engaged, about an hour after the VIP asked me (after the shock wore off)...it occurred to me that I could try on ANY wedding dress in the store(s). I'd have more then one option to try on and I wouldn't have to 'guess' at what looked good on me.

[qballmhh]

Originally Posted by WannaB2cute

@newday.... Yea I usually can take the insults laugh them off and cry privately later but this one was just mean. I try my best to make it motivation but I don't think can ever put the effort into the relationship like I did before. She has since moved out so not having to see her is easier for me. She now lives in another state so I'd like to think when she sees me after goal Ill feel like "haha showed you" but at the same time I feel like she may feel like my loss is due to credit of her. Just a lot of mixed emotions there.

Her behavior was beyond cruel BUT maybe since you were the newbie in the house she would've found something no matter what to be mean about. I'm sure it doesn't help but with a person like that it's a no-win. You might have to try to kill em with kindness.

[Kat117]

I don't know about embarrassing - I was more livid with anger and hate at this one.

Moved to Florida, was out trying to meet as many headhunters as I could so I could get a job and this one witch looked me up and down and said "Well, it's obvious you haven't been saying no to the brownies."

I very calmly replied - Madame (she was about 15 years older than my 38) "it is obvious you value different things than I. Since you were so rude as to stare at my clothes, shoes and handbag before making such a rude comment, I feel I need to inform you that my shoes alone cost more than everything you have on, including your jewelery. I refuse to submit myself to such vileness and we will not be doing business together." Then I got up, walked out and drove my car off.... I got about 2 blocks away before I had to pull over because I was crying so hard I couldn't see. How could anyone be so willingly vicious?

Now she wants to be my friend on facebook and will help me look for a job since I have "whittled myself into a new person"

I just politely replied that I prefer not to have posionious people in my life in any capacity.

Current Weight - 188

[JenRem]

Originally Posted by WannaB2cute

@newday.... Yea I usually can take the insults laugh them off and cry privately later but this one was just mean.

Yes, she was mean. Hopefully, it is something she will not continue as she matures in life. Some people are just mean and I think sometimes they just kind of don't know better (such as what's appropriate to say out loud vs. a thought that should never be spoken) or don't have a good filter.
I've been overweight since Jr. High. I didn't become obese until early/mid-twenties. One of my uncles had made comments out loud to me alone or around other people about my weight while I was growing up. Nothing super cruel as I can't recall any specific statements, but comments that make me dislike this part of him. Now, many years later he has gained weight (due to medical conditions, age and overeating - doesn't have that super metabolism he had when he was young and didn't realize how lucky he was lol!) He has never offered a real apology. I don't think he'd know how to do a proper one even if he felt bad enough to do so. Which I don't think would've ever occurred to him because I never let him know that the comments long ago hurt me. I believe in his own way he's apologizing by making statements about how he now realizes how hard it is to lose weight.
I think many skinny/thin people who've never had to struggle with weight/gaining weight have no clue what it's really like for us who have. I assume (and we all know I shouldn't do that, right?) that those thin people think most of us are "fat" because we eat too much and are lazy! When in reality, we know it's 1000% (I meant one thousand, not one hundred) more complicated than that!

Originally Posted by Ishbel

it occurred to me that I could try on ANY wedding dress in the store(s). I'd have more then one option to try on.

So, happy for you. I'm not a crier, but almost reached for the box of kleenex! Please, share with us a picture of THE dress when you get it; would love to see how radiant you look anc celebrate with you!

Originally Posted by Kat117

I very calmly replied - Madame (she was about 15 years older than my 38) "it is obvious you value different things than I. Since you were so rude as to stare at my clothes, shoes and handbag before making such a rude comment, I feel I need to inform you that my shoes alone cost more than everything you have on, including your jewelery. I refuse to submit myself to such vileness and we will not be doing business together."

I just politely replied that I prefer not to have posionious people in my life in any capacity.

WOW! Okay, I'm going to date myself and some of you young people will not know what I'm talking about lol! I would describe you as Carla from the TV sitcom "Cheers". She is the actress Rita Perlman (married [still] to Danny Devito). I loved her character because she was always so quick witted with responses back to people (and usually sarcastic to boot). Whereas, I'm the one who walks away after having someone say something rude/insulting to me - shocked and hurt. And it's days later that I think, "I should have said...... such and such" as my response. How, I'd like to go back in time and replay so I would be ready and could say MY line, lol!
Good for you for standing up for yourself. With rude people like that, I feel that's probably the only way they will understand that what they just said was NOT appropriate.
And I'm so glad that you got the opportunity to discount her again in your lifetime, by refusing her to work with your, now that your appearance has become more "acceptable" to her.
These are the type of people that I really hope encounter the other side of Karma and the sooner the better! Jen

BTW, at age 40 - I'm getting better at standing up for myself and although I may not have the most witty response, I don't let the person get away without me telling them how inappropriate they've just been.

[lisa32989]

Originally Posted by JenRem

I loved her character because she was always so quick witted with responses back to people (and usually sarcastic to boot). Whereas, I'm the one who walks away after having someone say something rude/insulting to me - shocked and hurt. And it's days later that I think, "I should have said...... such and such" as my response. How, I'd like to go back in time and replay so I would be ready and could say MY line, lol!

Me too!