Hi Everyone,

I've been on IP since Jan. of this year, and struggle with cravings. Last week I had a bad, busy day which led to a cheat.

I can't get past it. I feel guilty, I can't stop thinking of how far I've set myself back, or how long it will take to get back into ketosis. I'm trying to tell myself that I'm just human and I fell down. I've gotten back up, and I'm back OP.

But I'm just wondering, am I being too hard on myself? And does being OP necessarily equate to perfection?

I just wondered what your thoughts were relating to this,

Thanks,

I think that no one is perfect and you need to forgive yourself . Learn what you can to prevent if from happening again. If that's your first cheat since starting I think you're doing awesome!! Try to let it go, learn and continue on your journey.

I totally understand your feelings. I was just talking with DH a month or so ago about how I never felt like I had disordered eating before--but now, with all of the talk of "cheats" and 100% OP, I am starting to associate guilt with food.

I've not yet figured out how to deal with this. I am by no means a 100%-er all the time. It is just not a good approach for me. I gained weight by eating terrible food when I was really busy. I haven't really had a bad relationship with food before and I don't want to start one now. Our approach has been to not talk in terms of "cheats". That word is not healthy for me. Instead, I think about food choices and on-plan and choosing to be off-plan. This isn't a perfect fix, but it's a start.

There is no such thing as perfection with a diet. Even the best in the world take a cheat day to keep their bodies out of plateaus.

The work we do on ourselves is never done. So instead of constantly fighting battles with yourself, embrace the journey to a new version of yourself every time you set out to achieve a goal. It takes the pressure off and helps you to recognize that you're human. No one achieves goals on a perfect path- mistakes is how we learn, grow and adapt to massive changes.

Show yourself some love today and remind yourself why you're on this journey and what it will mean to you to accomplish this goal. Vision boarding, daily mantras and meditation will help to keep you in the zone.

Stop beating yourself with the guilty stick. There's no reason for it. You're right where you need to be on your journey.

If you are still beating yourself up over something that happened last week, you MUST move on, get on plan and make a plan for what to do if faced with similar situations in the future to stay OP.

I have emergency packets EVERYWHERE (my car, DHs car, desk at work, my purse). An additional packet is an OP (ON PLAN) choice, when faced with an infinite choice of off-plan items. There ARE places we can run into ZERO veggie options. It doesn't happen very often but we need a good plan B for when it does. I make sure the emergency packs are unrestricted. I learned my lesson one day when I'd already had a restricted and then my only choice was my emergency BAR. Now my emergency packs are all orange drinks and pink lemonades

I make plans for what will be coming and I'm not afraid of switching to a plan B or plan C. I talk about my plan with my DH and others I'll be with, so they know their choices DO affect me but at the same time I'm not trying to make them "suffer" b/c I'm on a weight loss journey.

I've had a day or two here & there of more Phase 2 choices b/c it fit better with what was happening. They have been VERY FEW and far between in my 7+ months OP (and usually when I'm out of town, which is infrequent).

My plan B choices have never veered off-plan, as far as chips, cookies or that stuff. Nor have I chosen off-plan veggies (starches). I haven't had dairy or alcohol. Occasionally, a meat choice may be higher fat. I just forgo my additional oil that day.

It really is all in the planning and treating ourselves with the love and respect we deserve. Wallowing in the past and beating ourselves up over and over again for it is non-productive. What IS productive is moving forward, planning for staying ON PLAN, and then executing!

Today is 10 months in maintenance...and I decided to come on here to see what's up! Your thread was the first click...and caused a bit of reflection in me to figure out what I wanted to say to you.

...you need to be kinder to yourself and forgive yourself quicker. How many times do you want to be mean to yourself over something you can't change...you can only change what happens from this moment on.

Even in maintenance I'm a rule follower by keeping the carbs and the fats seperate...but there are days that I add things into my diet that don't necessarily follow THE rules. The trouble with Ketosis is that it's a phyiscal state of being and sticking with the Phase 1 rules means you'll stay there and lose weight for sure....does that mean life can't happen around you? That you can't learn from your slip? Nope, but does that mean you have to get back on the horse and 'git r' dun!'...you bet!

Does it sometimes make you feel obessed, unforunately sometimes yes...but when you get to your goal it will be worth it. That obsessed feeling helped me when I entered maintenance as I started adding foods slowly....and really felt my body and what was going on. And the 'anxious' feeling will go away with minor flare ups (just being honest! lol) as you learn your body.

It's seems to be difficult mentally for some after a cheat, the sense of urgency isn't there. You know what you're getting yourself into...etc etc.

...I recently read an article by Dr Beck (Beck Diet Solution) about the all or nothing attitude. "If you fell down two sets of stairs would you just up and throw yourself down the rest of the stair case" or! "if you ran a red light and recieved a ticket would you throw your hands up and say "well! I ran one today and got a ticket, might as well run 'em all!"

I don't know if what I'm saying is helping but throughout life you have to learn to forgive yourself and be kinder to yourself. The quicker you do that the quicker you get back on the horse....and 'GIT R' DUN'

Good thread and all good advice. I find that I too have gained issues with "cheating" and guilt that I have never had with food before this diet or this forum. When I did cheat a week ago today my sister couldn't believe how much I was obsessing over what I should eat/drink and all the feelings around it. Really it was kind of over the top for the little bit of off plan food/drink. But the next day I didn't feel guilty (had a headache though haha) and moved on. It was more guilt during which really took away from my night of enjoyment. Anyway I just wanted to chime in on my experience on this topic and where my headspace was at. Meanwhile I enjoy sifting through all the advice and taking from it what works for me. Thanks

For those of us who have been on this site for any period of time we have often seen the phrase 'losing weight is not linear'...we use this to bring up someone's spirits when they have lost a smaller amount of weight than they had hoped. I truly believe that success is not linear either -- on our journey, we will have days of smooth sailing - when the diet is clicking on all cylinders. But we will also have days of struggle - when the diet is dark and looming and we can't see beyond the moment of negativity.

What do we do when our weight loss is less than expected one week - we keep plugging along - we recommit ourselves - because we know what will bring success and we move forward. That's exactly what we should do when we have fallen - recognize that this is part of the journey and that we need to move forward with an eye to our next success and not dwelling on our past mistakes.

Good luck - keep the faith and be nice to yourself!!!

It Done ! Move On!

You Can't Unring A Bell!

Redo and Regroup and Reassess! Drop the 4th R ! Regret!!!

We Learn By Mistakes in Life as long as we don't keep repeating them!

I think the coping skills we use in life ...we probably use with this diet too!

I believe what is the healthiest thing in my life to do is acknowledge what happen, think about what I can do to resolve it or come up with a way to straighten out XYZ!!!

I feel beating myself up is a waste of energy!!! And just elevates what has occurred to a higher level!
I Save My Energy and I try to rate things on a scale of 1-10 in Life!

I have learned to Save 4 and over for the Major things in Life !
Coping with 3 and under is Doable !
This Diet for Me Would Never Rate More than a 3! If it did My life would seriously be out of balance... And call for me to do some serious thinking

This diet has enhanced my life .... Whenever it gets to a point where it is the primary focus or stressor ..I DEFINITELY OUT OF HERE!

I will never be the best dieter!! I don't need to be ! I don't care if I know the ends and outs of everything,Have all the right answers, BUT GUESS WHAT IN LIFE YOU DON'T have to..... to be Successful!! That's the trick in Life .ll You step in the Dog Crap ..You wipe it off your shoe and Keep Stepping. Quick trying to bend down and take a Wiff Let it go !
There use to be an old saying Don't sweat the small stuff! And there is a lot of small stuff in life that we can Elevate higher than it Should ever be.

I have learn so much about myself from this diet, I am enjoying the insight I have gained .
I think coming to the site you learn so much,,,I am very interested in learning how people respond to a negative or positive stimuli and the resiliency it takes to keep pushing forward.

Perfection Never ! Resolve ,Resiliency,Redo,Reactivating, Regenerated,Realization, You Bet Ya!

Good Luck as we all strive for our dreams of our new Healthier Self ,
Roo2:dr inkup:
Happy Saint Paddy's Day

I guess I have two questions for you:

1) Do you feel guilty about things you ate 7 years ago? Probably not. Because that is in the past. What happened a week ago is also in the past. You can't change it, but you can learn from it. You can try to figure out why you chose to eat something that doesn't help you accomplish your goal. Was it convenience? Then take some of Lisa's ideas and make yourself some emergency kits of OP foods. Was it that you missed something that is too high carb/fat/calorie? Look into Rainbow's recipes. Was it that you were tired or stressed or bored? Find ways to feel better that don't involve food.

I'm a bored eater and also someone who tends to go to sugary food when I've had a poopy day. I knew that about myself going in, and have used that to prevent any off-plan wandering.

The second question:

2) If someone you cared about ate something they shouldn't eat, how would you react to them? With compassion and kindness? Or would you shame them and make them feel guilty and keep reminding them of their mistake? Would you help them avoid that temptation in the future? Or would you make that food readily available and always in their face?

Treat yourself the same way you would treat someone else you love. Forgive yourself and keep going on your journey.

I'm fairly sure that what I'm about to write is going to be taken the wrong way by some posters but I need to get this out.

Obviously we all work differently and need different motivations but I have to admit to feeling irritated by the "I HAD A SLIVER OF CHEESE, NOW MY WHOLE LIFE IS RUINED AND I'M DEPRESSED BECAUSE I'M A LOSER WHO ATE A SLIVER OF CHEESE!!!!!!" or the "I ONLY LOST 1 POUND THIS WEEK AND NOW I'M DEPRESSED BECAUSE I'M A LOSER WHO ONLY LOST A POUND!!!!" posts we get here (too) frequently.

I have a hard time empathizing with the level of panic those messages display because I don't understand it. Losing weight and getting healthy is a serious matter and requires sacrifice, but it's a day-by-day, meal-by-meal, bite-by-bite thing and one stumble doesn't negate all the success you have had so far. To repeat the old cliche: it's a marathon not a sprint.

So let's all relax, relate and release *cleansing breath* and go back to doing the best we can day-by-day, meal-by-meal, bite-by-bite.

Nicely said, Desafinado! I completely agree!
OK, so you ate something off-plan. We all have--it's not like you committed murder! I think the most important thing is to not let it derail you. To me, each time you make a choice to get back on the wagon after a slip is a victory!

Thank you for all this great advice! I really admire your attitude and how you plan ahead.

Thanks, everyone. I realize today after reading all your responses that there is a lot of forgiveness in the program as well.

I do need to adopt the attitude of one-day-at-a-time. I also had an epiphany about my worry over being out of ketosis: It's not like I can never get back in to ketosis. Of course I can, I just need to forgive it and move on.

So, today was a different day. So will tomorrow.

Thanks, everyone