3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community  

Go Back   3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community > Diet Central > Packaged Meals and Clinics - Nutrisystem, Medifast, Jenny Craig, Etc > Ideal Protein Diet

When does being OP turn into perfectionism?

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 03-17-2013, 12:44 PM   #1
Member
 
FlooNimbus13127's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Ladera Ranch, CA
Posts: 54

S/C/G: 183/154/140

Height: 5'2"

Default When does being OP turn into perfectionism?

Hi Everyone,

I've been on IP since Jan. of this year, and struggle with cravings. Last week I had a bad, busy day which led to a cheat.

I can't get past it. I feel guilty, I can't stop thinking of how far I've set myself back, or how long it will take to get back into ketosis. I'm trying to tell myself that I'm just human and I fell down. I've gotten back up, and I'm back OP.

But I'm just wondering, am I being too hard on myself? And does being OP necessarily equate to perfection?

I just wondered what your thoughts were relating to this,

Thanks,
__________________
FlooNimbus13127 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-17-2013, 12:48 PM   #2
Started IP: 1/16/13
 
animallover's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Northern California
Posts: 137

S/C/G: 228.6/see ticker/128

Height: 5' 5"

Default

I think that no one is perfect and you need to forgive yourself . Learn what you can to prevent if from happening again. If that's your first cheat since starting I think you're doing awesome!! Try to let it go, learn and continue on your journey.
__________________
Christine


One for every 5 pounds lost:
animallover is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-17-2013, 12:51 PM   #3
Restart: 1/5/15
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: SF, CA
Posts: 307

S/C/G: 212/199.2/140

Height: 5'9"/36 yo

Default

I totally understand your feelings. I was just talking with DH a month or so ago about how I never felt like I had disordered eating before--but now, with all of the talk of "cheats" and 100% OP, I am starting to associate guilt with food.

I've not yet figured out how to deal with this. I am by no means a 100%-er all the time. It is just not a good approach for me. I gained weight by eating terrible food when I was really busy. I haven't really had a bad relationship with food before and I don't want to start one now. Our approach has been to not talk in terms of "cheats". That word is not healthy for me. Instead, I think about food choices and on-plan and choosing to be off-plan. This isn't a perfect fix, but it's a start.
__________________


SW: 209.2
WI#1: -5.8 (203.4)
WI #2: -2.8 (200.6)
WI #3: -0.8 (201.4)
WI #4: 2.2 (199.2)

Mini-Goal #1: BMI 29.8 (202lbs by 1/19/15-MET! ) Mini-Goal #2: BMI 24.8 (168 lbs by 5/30/15)
benice is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-17-2013, 12:54 PM   #4
IP start date 2/4/13
 
SFNinerGirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 133

Height: 5'10"

Default

There is no such thing as perfection with a diet. Even the best in the world take a cheat day to keep their bodies out of plateaus.

The work we do on ourselves is never done. So instead of constantly fighting battles with yourself, embrace the journey to a new version of yourself every time you set out to achieve a goal. It takes the pressure off and helps you to recognize that you're human. No one achieves goals on a perfect path- mistakes is how we learn, grow and adapt to massive changes.

Show yourself some love today and remind yourself why you're on this journey and what it will mean to you to accomplish this goal. Vision boarding, daily mantras and meditation will help to keep you in the zone.

Stop beating yourself with the guilty stick. There's no reason for it. You're right where you need to be on your journey.
__________________



Week 1: -9.0
Week 2: -3.5

Week 3: -5.8
Week 4: -1.0
Week 5: -2.3

Mini goal: 30 pounds down by Easter
First big goal: 80 pounds by Maui honeymoon May 20th
Hit Goal: By 30th Birthday November 1st!

One for every 5 pounds lost!
SFNinerGirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-17-2013, 12:59 PM   #5
IP start Aug 2012
 
lisa32989's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 8,019

S/C/G: 260.2/165

Height: 5'5"

Default

If you are still beating yourself up over something that happened last week, you MUST move on, get on plan and make a plan for what to do if faced with similar situations in the future to stay OP.

I have emergency packets EVERYWHERE (my car, DHs car, desk at work, my purse). An additional packet is an OP (ON PLAN) choice, when faced with an infinite choice of off-plan items. There ARE places we can run into ZERO veggie options. It doesn't happen very often but we need a good plan B for when it does. I make sure the emergency packs are unrestricted. I learned my lesson one day when I'd already had a restricted and then my only choice was my emergency BAR. Now my emergency packs are all orange drinks and pink lemonades

I make plans for what will be coming and I'm not afraid of switching to a plan B or plan C. I talk about my plan with my DH and others I'll be with, so they know their choices DO affect me but at the same time I'm not trying to make them "suffer" b/c I'm on a weight loss journey.

I've had a day or two here & there of more Phase 2 choices b/c it fit better with what was happening. They have been VERY FEW and far between in my 7+ months OP (and usually when I'm out of town, which is infrequent).

My plan B choices have never veered off-plan, as far as chips, cookies or that stuff. Nor have I chosen off-plan veggies (starches). I haven't had dairy or alcohol. Occasionally, a meat choice may be higher fat. I just forgo my additional oil that day.

It really is all in the planning and treating ourselves with the love and respect we deserve. Wallowing in the past and beating ourselves up over and over again for it is non-productive. What IS productive is moving forward, planning for staying ON PLAN, and then executing!
__________________
Losing weight is hard. Maintenance is hard. Being fat is hard. Pick your hard. (-Ishbel)
Lost 95 lbs on IP!
Link to weight loss Photos

lisa32989 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-17-2013, 01:09 PM   #6
Senior Member
 
Ishbel's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Saskatchewan, Canada
Posts: 1,441

S/C/G: 305/163/165

Default

Today is 10 months in maintenance...and I decided to come on here to see what's up! Your thread was the first click...and caused a bit of reflection in me to figure out what I wanted to say to you.

...you need to be kinder to yourself and forgive yourself quicker. How many times do you want to be mean to yourself over something you can't change...you can only change what happens from this moment on.

Even in maintenance I'm a rule follower by keeping the carbs and the fats seperate...but there are days that I add things into my diet that don't necessarily follow THE rules. The trouble with Ketosis is that it's a phyiscal state of being and sticking with the Phase 1 rules means you'll stay there and lose weight for sure....does that mean life can't happen around you? That you can't learn from your slip? Nope, but does that mean you have to get back on the horse and 'git r' dun!'...you bet!

Does it sometimes make you feel obessed, unforunately sometimes yes...but when you get to your goal it will be worth it. That obsessed feeling helped me when I entered maintenance as I started adding foods slowly....and really felt my body and what was going on. And the 'anxious' feeling will go away with minor flare ups (just being honest! lol) as you learn your body.

It's seems to be difficult mentally for some after a cheat, the sense of urgency isn't there. You know what you're getting yourself into...etc etc.

...I recently read an article by Dr Beck (Beck Diet Solution) about the all or nothing attitude. "If you fell down two sets of stairs would you just up and throw yourself down the rest of the stair case" or! "if you ran a red light and recieved a ticket would you throw your hands up and say "well! I ran one today and got a ticket, might as well run 'em all!"

I don't know if what I'm saying is helping but throughout life you have to learn to forgive yourself and be kinder to yourself. The quicker you do that the quicker you get back on the horse....and 'GIT R' DUN'
__________________
"If you don't look after your body, where will you live?" - Kobi Yamada

"If I go back to what I was, I will be what I was. I don't want to be what I was, I want to be what I am." - Me




Started IP - 19 Apr 11 - Hit Goal -18 Apr 12 Maintenance - 17 May 12
All about baby mode: Sept 2013-Dec 2014
27 Dec 14 Pregnant weight be gone mode!
Photo/Stats Album: http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/goal...il-2012-a.html
Ishbel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-17-2013, 01:29 PM   #7
Senior Member
 
ladylunk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 274

S/C/G: 216/209.6/180

Height: 5'9

Default

Good thread and all good advice. I find that I too have gained issues with "cheating" and guilt that I have never had with food before this diet or this forum. When I did cheat a week ago today my sister couldn't believe how much I was obsessing over what I should eat/drink and all the feelings around it. Really it was kind of over the top for the little bit of off plan food/drink. But the next day I didn't feel guilty (had a headache though haha) and moved on. It was more guilt during which really took away from my night of enjoyment. Anyway I just wanted to chime in on my experience on this topic and where my headspace was at. Meanwhile I enjoy sifting through all the advice and taking from it what works for me. Thanks
__________________
I just upped my ticker by 41 lbs since April. Time to do something about it.
ladylunk is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-17-2013, 01:50 PM   #8
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 11

Default The Journey is not linear...

For those of us who have been on this site for any period of time we have often seen the phrase 'losing weight is not linear'...we use this to bring up someone's spirits when they have lost a smaller amount of weight than they had hoped. I truly believe that success is not linear either -- on our journey, we will have days of smooth sailing - when the diet is clicking on all cylinders. But we will also have days of struggle - when the diet is dark and looming and we can't see beyond the moment of negativity.

What do we do when our weight loss is less than expected one week - we keep plugging along - we recommit ourselves - because we know what will bring success and we move forward. That's exactly what we should do when we have fallen - recognize that this is part of the journey and that we need to move forward with an eye to our next success and not dwelling on our past mistakes.

Good luck - keep the faith and be nice to yourself!!!
Pdukas143 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-17-2013, 02:23 PM   #9
Claim it ,Achieve it!
 
Roo2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Illinois
Posts: 712

S/C/G: 212/104.2/120

Height: 5'2"

Default

It Done ! Move On!

You Can't Unring A Bell!

Redo and Regroup and Reassess! Drop the 4th R ! Regret!!!

We Learn By Mistakes in Life as long as we don't keep repeating them!

I think the coping skills we use in life ...we probably use with this diet too!

I believe what is the healthiest thing in my life to do is acknowledge what happen, think about what I can do to resolve it or come up with a way to straighten out XYZ!!!

I feel beating myself up is a waste of energy!!! And just elevates what has occurred to a higher level!
I Save My Energy and I try to rate things on a scale of 1-10 in Life!

I have learned to Save 4 and over for the Major things in Life !
Coping with 3 and under is Doable !
This Diet for Me Would Never Rate More than a 3! If it did My life would seriously be out of balance... And call for me to do some serious thinking

This diet has enhanced my life .... Whenever it gets to a point where it is the primary focus or stressor ..I DEFINITELY OUT OF HERE!

I will never be the best dieter!! I don't need to be ! I don't care if I know the ends and outs of everything,Have all the right answers, BUT GUESS WHAT IN LIFE YOU DON'T have to..... to be Successful!! That's the trick in Life .ll You step in the Dog Crap ..You wipe it off your shoe and Keep Stepping. Quick trying to bend down and take a Wiff Let it go !
There use to be an old saying Don't sweat the small stuff! And there is a lot of small stuff in life that we can Elevate higher than it Should ever be.

I have learn so much about myself from this diet, I am enjoying the insight I have gained .
I think coming to the site you learn so much,,,I am very interested in learning how people respond to a negative or positive stimuli and the resiliency it takes to keep pushing forward.

Perfection Never ! Resolve ,Resiliency,Redo,Reactivating, Regenerated,Realization, You Bet Ya!

Good Luck as we all strive for our dreams of our new Healthier Self ,
Roo2:dr inkup:
Happy Saint Paddy's Day
__________________
Roo2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-17-2013, 05:43 PM   #10
Senior Member
 
GreatLakes86's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 105

S/C/G: 202.4/161/145

Height: 5' 6"

Default

I guess I have two questions for you:

1) Do you feel guilty about things you ate 7 years ago? Probably not. Because that is in the past. What happened a week ago is also in the past. You can't change it, but you can learn from it. You can try to figure out why you chose to eat something that doesn't help you accomplish your goal. Was it convenience? Then take some of Lisa's ideas and make yourself some emergency kits of OP foods. Was it that you missed something that is too high carb/fat/calorie? Look into Rainbow's recipes. Was it that you were tired or stressed or bored? Find ways to feel better that don't involve food.

I'm a bored eater and also someone who tends to go to sugary food when I've had a poopy day. I knew that about myself going in, and have used that to prevent any off-plan wandering.

The second question:

2) If someone you cared about ate something they shouldn't eat, how would you react to them? With compassion and kindness? Or would you shame them and make them feel guilty and keep reminding them of their mistake? Would you help them avoid that temptation in the future? Or would you make that food readily available and always in their face?

Treat yourself the same way you would treat someone else you love. Forgive yourself and keep going on your journey.

Last edited by GreatLakes86 : 03-17-2013 at 05:43 PM.
GreatLakes86 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-17-2013, 07:14 PM   #11
Started IP 1/10/13
 
Desafinado's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 204

S/C/G: 225/175.5(home) 176.2(IP)/120

Height: 5'0"

Default

I'm fairly sure that what I'm about to write is going to be taken the wrong way by some posters but I need to get this out.

Obviously we all work differently and need different motivations but I have to admit to feeling irritated by the "I HAD A SLIVER OF CHEESE, NOW MY WHOLE LIFE IS RUINED AND I'M DEPRESSED BECAUSE I'M A LOSER WHO ATE A SLIVER OF CHEESE!!!!!!" or the "I ONLY LOST 1 POUND THIS WEEK AND NOW I'M DEPRESSED BECAUSE I'M A LOSER WHO ONLY LOST A POUND!!!!" posts we get here (too) frequently.

I have a hard time empathizing with the level of panic those messages display because I don't understand it. Losing weight and getting healthy is a serious matter and requires sacrifice, but it's a day-by-day, meal-by-meal, bite-by-bite thing and one stumble doesn't negate all the success you have had so far. To repeat the old cliche: it's a marathon not a sprint.

So let's all relax, relate and release *cleansing breath* and go back to doing the best we can day-by-day, meal-by-meal, bite-by-bite.
__________________

Mini goal 1: 199lbs (3/10/13)
Mini goal 2: 174 lbs
Mini goal 3: 149 lbs
End goal: 120 lbs

Last edited by Desafinado : 03-17-2013 at 07:15 PM.
Desafinado is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-17-2013, 08:11 PM   #12
IP Start Date: 10/3/2012
 
tam67green's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Maryland
Posts: 273

S/C/G: 247/171.6/150

Height: 5'3"

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Desafinado View Post
I'm fairly sure that what I'm about to write is going to be taken the wrong way by some posters but I need to get this out.

Obviously we all work differently and need different motivations but I have to admit to feeling irritated by the "I HAD A SLIVER OF CHEESE, NOW MY WHOLE LIFE IS RUINED AND I'M DEPRESSED BECAUSE I'M A LOSER WHO ATE A SLIVER OF CHEESE!!!!!!" or the "I ONLY LOST 1 POUND THIS WEEK AND NOW I'M DEPRESSED BECAUSE I'M A LOSER WHO ONLY LOST A POUND!!!!" posts we get here (too) frequently.

I have a hard time empathizing with the level of panic those messages display because I don't understand it. Losing weight and getting healthy is a serious matter and requires sacrifice, but it's a day-by-day, meal-by-meal, bite-by-bite thing and one stumble doesn't negate all the success you have had so far. To repeat the old cliche: it's a marathon not a sprint.

So let's all relax, relate and release *cleansing breath* and go back to doing the best we can day-by-day, meal-by-meal, bite-by-bite.
Nicely said, Desafinado! I completely agree!
OK, so you ate something off-plan. We all have--it's not like you committed murder! I think the most important thing is to not let it derail you. To me, each time you make a choice to get back on the wagon after a slip is a victory!
__________________
tam67green is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-17-2013, 08:22 PM   #13
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 163

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by lisa32989 View Post
If you are still beating yourself up over something that happened last week, you MUST move on, get on plan and make a plan for what to do if faced with similar situations in the future to stay OP.

I have emergency packets EVERYWHERE (my car, DHs car, desk at work, my purse). An additional packet is an OP (ON PLAN) choice, when faced with an infinite choice of off-plan items. There ARE places we can run into ZERO veggie options. It doesn't happen very often but we need a good plan B for when it does. I make sure the emergency packs are unrestricted. I learned my lesson one day when I'd already had a restricted and then my only choice was my emergency BAR. Now my emergency packs are all orange drinks and pink lemonades

I make plans for what will be coming and I'm not afraid of switching to a plan B or plan C. I talk about my plan with my DH and others I'll be with, so they know their choices DO affect me but at the same time I'm not trying to make them "suffer" b/c I'm on a weight loss journey.

I've had a day or two here & there of more Phase 2 choices b/c it fit better with what was happening. They have been VERY FEW and far between in my 7+ months OP (and usually when I'm out of town, which is infrequent).

My plan B choices have never veered off-plan, as far as chips, cookies or that stuff. Nor have I chosen off-plan veggies (starches). I haven't had dairy or alcohol. Occasionally, a meat choice may be higher fat. I just forgo my additional oil that day.

It really is all in the planning and treating ourselves with the love and respect we deserve. Wallowing in the past and beating ourselves up over and over again for it is non-productive. What IS productive is moving forward, planning for staying ON PLAN, and then executing!
Thank you for all this great advice! I really admire your attitude and how you plan ahead.
goldilocksinct is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-17-2013, 08:27 PM   #14
IP start Aug 2012
 
lisa32989's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 8,019

S/C/G: 260.2/165

Height: 5'5"

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Desafinado View Post
I'm fairly sure that what I'm about to write is going to be taken the wrong way by some posters but I need to get this out.

Obviously we all work differently and need different motivations but I have to admit to feeling irritated by the "I HAD A SLIVER OF CHEESE, NOW MY WHOLE LIFE IS RUINED AND I'M DEPRESSED BECAUSE I'M A LOSER WHO ATE A SLIVER OF CHEESE!!!!!!" or the "I ONLY LOST 1 POUND THIS WEEK AND NOW I'M DEPRESSED BECAUSE I'M A LOSER WHO ONLY LOST A POUND!!!!" posts we get here (too) frequently.

I have a hard time empathizing with the level of panic those messages display because I don't understand it. Losing weight and getting healthy is a serious matter and requires sacrifice, but it's a day-by-day, meal-by-meal, bite-by-bite thing and one stumble doesn't negate all the success you have had so far. To repeat the old cliche: it's a marathon not a sprint.

So let's all relax, relate and release *cleansing breath* and go back to doing the best we can day-by-day, meal-by-meal, bite-by-bite.
__________________
Losing weight is hard. Maintenance is hard. Being fat is hard. Pick your hard. (-Ishbel)
Lost 95 lbs on IP!
Link to weight loss Photos

lisa32989 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-17-2013, 09:01 PM   #15
Member
 
FlooNimbus13127's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Ladera Ranch, CA
Posts: 54

S/C/G: 183/154/140

Height: 5'2"

Default

Thanks, everyone. I realize today after reading all your responses that there is a lot of forgiveness in the program as well.

I do need to adopt the attitude of one-day-at-a-time. I also had an epiphany about my worry over being out of ketosis: It's not like I can never get back in to ketosis. Of course I can, I just need to forgive it and move on.

So, today was a different day. So will tomorrow.

Thanks, everyone
__________________
FlooNimbus13127 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Posts by members, moderators and admins are not considered medical advice
and no guarantee is made against accuracy.


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:28 AM.






Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2015, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.3.2