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Anyone afraid to be thin?? Explanation inside.

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Old 12-09-2012, 06:09 PM   #1
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Default Anyone afraid to be thin?? Explanation inside.

I still have a long way to go and don't get me wrong, I am starting to look at normal sized clothes (esp pretty dresses) but never really envisioned myself below a 16.
The other night I was in a break room where there was a full mirror, I ALWAYS look in mirrors now, and I had a mini panic attack. I thought, what am I going to do when I loose at this weight? I've never known what's it's like to not shop plus size.

I know it might sound odd, and of course I am excited about what's to come, but for that minute, I freaked.

I have seen, on my fave wedding shows, woman who have lost weight and freak out because they can't believe they are beautiful, have nice figures....some of them are crying with joy, some of them aren't ready to come to the realization they are smaller.

I mean there is a lot of psychological (IMO) aspects to weight gain, retain, and loss. It can be scary.
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Old 12-09-2012, 06:19 PM   #2
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I don't think I am afraid to be thin but I do think I find it hard to not see myself as the fat girl I have been for so long. Everyone keeps telling me how good I look and how much weight I have lost and I see it on the scale and I feel it in my new smaller cloths, but when I look in the mirror usually still see the same fat girl who was always bigger then everyone in high school and university and one of the big girls everywhere I worked. I am definitely trying to work on the psychological aspects of this loss.
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Old 12-09-2012, 06:23 PM   #3
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I'm both nervous and excited.

Today I was at Panera and me & DH always sit at the same table, it's just our thing. But I noticed all the other couples who came in all sat at booths (vs. tables and chairs).

I told my husband next time we are going to check out the booths and see if I can fit there comfortably now (isn't that so embarrassing?). I told him too I want to go test out a seat on an airplane (obviously kidding, I know I can't try one on for size).

I can't wait to be a normal person again but I don't think I will ever lose the fear and embarrassment no matter how much I lose.
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Old 12-09-2012, 06:28 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by elvislover324 View Post
I'm both nervous and excited.

Today I was at Panera and me & DH always sit at the same table, it's just our thing. But I noticed all the other couples who came in all sat at booths (vs. tables and chairs).

I told my husband next time we are going to check out the booths and see if I can fit there comfortably now (isn't that so embarrassing?). I told him too I want to go test out a seat on an airplane (obviously kidding, I know I can't try one on for size).

I can't wait to be a normal person again but I don't think I will ever lose the fear and embarrassment no matter how much I lose.
Maybe nervous is a better word. It's not like I want to stay overweight and unhealthy but it's such a life change.

I am also painfully aware of problem booths.
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Old 12-09-2012, 06:42 PM   #5
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OK, now this may sound strange, but I've heard that any loss of something we know and that is a part of us has to be grieved. EVEN if it is a GOOD loss, something we want! I think there is a lot a truth in it. Because it was a part of us, it is known and familiar. And the "new world" waiting for us is not necessarily familiar. Plus, for some of us, eating is how we coped with things in life in times that were difficult, it was a way to comfort ourselves...what will we do now in those same situations? Not to mention the anxiety of what will happen when we "get there"...will we just gain it all back and feel even worst than before? All that can create anxiety. But we have so much support here, and people who get all this, and why this is so important, and the anxiety, and can help us get where we want to be and stay there, and it's all going to be just fine. Even better, it is going to be awesome! We got this!
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Old 12-09-2012, 07:19 PM   #6
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I think it also depends on how much you are losing and how long it's been since you felt "thin"

I knew I was overweight and was happy with it, until I started having more joint pain and I gained 15 lbs this year... then I was like, okay done. My kids are 10, 9, 5 and 4 and I am too young (36) to tell them I can't go for a walk because my hip/ankle hurt (I have had a full hip replacement and have a bunch of metal in my ankle from breaking it)

I thought I would be nervous about wearing tighter clothes... but in the last week I realized I could and have.

Now when I get down to a 14/16 which is where I would like to be at least when I am done... well that will be weird! And I know I won't go much smaller just because I have a big frame and have always been, well big in the chest area.... even when I was a 14/16 lol
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Old 12-09-2012, 07:42 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nolawhodatchick View Post
OK, now this may sound strange, but I've heard that any loss of something we know and that is a part of us has to be grieved. EVEN if it is a GOOD loss, something we want! I think there is a lot a truth in it. Because it was a part of us, it is known and familiar. And the "new world" waiting for us is not necessarily familiar. Plus, for some of us, eating is how we coped with things in life in times that were difficult, it was a way to comfort ourselves...what will we do now in those same situations? Not to mention the anxiety of what will happen when we "get there"...will we just gain it all back and feel even worst than before? All that can create anxiety. But we have so much support here, and people who get all this, and why this is so important, and the anxiety, and can help us get where we want to be and stay there, and it's all going to be just fine. Even better, it is going to be awesome! We got this!
I think you hit the nail on the head. The fact is that *any* kind of change is scary, even if it's for the better. It's the unknown ... uncharted territory, so to speak. Depending on how much weight you're losing, it can be a pretty dramatic change, not just for you but for others around you, and it's normal to wonder how you'll feel and how others will react to you.
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Old 12-09-2012, 07:58 PM   #8
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I have found being overweight makes me feel like no one will notice me. Like I can hide in plain sight. It has been suggested that I didn't seek to lose weight once I began gaining because I felt safer the more invisible I became. A wallflower. However, I do know that once one reaches a certain point of being overweight, you no longer feel "unnoticeable" but quite noticeable, and not in a good way!
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Old 12-09-2012, 08:18 PM   #9
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I hear you. I have ALWAYS been the fat girl. The fat sister. The fat cousin. The fat coworker. The fat friend. I still think of myself that way and I am seriously hoping this will change in my mind soon! I am smaller than I was in high school and possibly Jr. High as well. I am also very shy but I made it through the complimenting now and I don't get as self conscious so maybe I am heading in a positive direction.
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Old 12-09-2012, 08:32 PM   #10
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Ok, I tried to put more than 1 quote in a response and it didn't work.

Nolawhodatchick and bubbleblower, well said!!

My husband met me when I was overweight,I was bigger when we married. He likes big women. I do wonder how he'll react, but he's been very supportive so far.
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Old 12-09-2012, 08:41 PM   #11
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I panicked when people started to notice that I was losing weight. I spent a bunch of time looking in the mirror and coming to terms with what I really look like. I found out this weekend that I'm adjusting to the new me. I took a MAJOR step this weekend and was excited. ( I went from pus size pants to the regular dept) I just kept looking in the mirror and staring but this time excited. Ok I did cry.
I know that I felt invisible when I was so overweight but now I realize that I wasn't. I don't stick out any more right now being at a lower weight. I had to do a lot of work on how I think and how I see me. It's been a journey but I have decided to embrace it. In Sept I was scared to death of being thinner and wanting it so badly all at the same time. Believing in me changed a lot and took a lot to change
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Old 12-09-2012, 08:48 PM   #12
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I think the mental games your mind plays on you are tough. I am not sure how I will feel in my "new skin". The journey is even tough. For example, I have no idea what size I wear right now. I know the clothes I was wearing are way too big, my "skinny day" clothes are too big but I am afraid to try to figure out what size I really am right now. I need to buy a few things to get me through the holidays but don't even know what size to start with.

My husband did not know me in high school and early college years when I was thin. I am sure he will be supportive but it will be a change. I am a confident person usually but IP has caused me to second guess myself a bit. I wonder what I will look like when school returns in late January, my semester ends this week! It may be tough to be up in front of the students and have them wonder what happened to me. Especially since I will only be part way through the journey. I am not sure how I will feel when I am done but hopefully will become as comfortable with the new me as I have become with the old me.
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Old 12-09-2012, 09:33 PM   #13
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This thread really hits home... I've been talking to one of my friends who has lost nearly 50 lbs and is currently a size 6. She looks so unbelievably tiny, and says she wants to be even smaller. I told her I can't imagine myself at even a size 14-- i didn't wear a 14 even in high school. I have always been fat. I told her my goal was 14 then thought, if she wants to get to a 2, can I get to a 12? Then I wondered why I couldn't see myself past 14? or 12?

I thought about it and i do think I used being overweight as an invisibility cloak. People can no longer see me... But in reality, it's just me with my head down. When I am confident, less weight, head up, Yeah, I still feel uncomfortable a tad but I think it's the fat girl in me.

And then there is my boyfriend who looks at our friend who lost weight and told me he doesn't want me to be that thin. He likes bigger women and he says as long as I'm less than him (about 250) that we are good. He sees me beautiful as I am now, which is such a blessing to have someone like that... but also could be a problem, and probably is...

Anyway. I'm not so much scared as I am just in disbelief that I can be smaller. Doesn't feel like it can happen...
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Old 12-09-2012, 10:40 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maezy1 View Post
I panicked when people started to notice that I was losing weight. I spent a bunch of time looking in the mirror and coming to terms with what I really look like. I found out this weekend that I'm adjusting to the new me. I took a MAJOR step this weekend and was excited. ( I went from pus size pants to the regular dept) I just kept looking in the mirror and staring but this time excited. Ok I did cry.
I know that I felt invisible when I was so overweight but now I realize that I wasn't. I don't stick out any more right now being at a lower weight. I had to do a lot of work on how I think and how I see me. It's been a journey but I have decided to embrace it. In Sept I was scared to death of being thinner and wanting it so badly all at the same time. Believing in me changed a lot and took a lot to change
OMG This is how have always felt. In the past, the minute someone noticed I lost wieght, I would 'reward' myself with eating.
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Old 12-09-2012, 10:44 PM   #15
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(((((HUGS))))) to everyone!!! It seems we all have a lot of the same feelings and emotions. We'll get through it together and I thank all of you for that.

I keep thinking, there are so many people who are admired for beauty, money....but the men and women here who have lost 50-100-200lbs are the ones to be admired for their determination and bravery.
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