My Husband actually feels like this. He worries that I will be nice and thin and beautiful and vavavoom and men will be hitting on me left and right and I will find someone else much better than him.
We may not be having more sex, but I find that I am a lot more flexible and able to move better. so the sex we do have is better.
I don't have any advice about what to say back other then smile and say "Oh I don't need to leave him.. He has really gotten into shape as well and he is like a new man" smile and walk away.
I totally understand your rant!
Because I am heavier, none of my friends would set me up with guys, yet they setup skinnier friends. Later they said I was too picky. I was kind of offended\hurt. One ex-friend told me if I wasn't Angelina Jolee I shouldn't expect Brad Pitt. Of course I wanted a good looking husband, but emotional stability, availability, and morals are more what I was looking for. Luckily I found him (and I think he is hot ), without their help. But I cannot believe how rude people are to others. Your example is prime!!! People can be so disrespectful! I am happy you have a loving and supportive partner! We all deserve a Brad Pitt or an Angelina Jolee!-
Why is it the second a wife loses weight everyone asks if she is going to leave her husband? I am asked this question on a daily basis. My poor husband is repeatedly asked if he's scared that I'm going to leave him. I guess the thought process is that now I supposedly have more options since I'm smaller and more men would be attracted. Still who asks this?? Hubby loved me at 247 he will love me at 167. He would love me no matter what. I love him even though he is a big guy. Grrrrrrrr....sorry little rant. Don't get me started on the "do you want to lose weight or are you sick?" or "are you enjoying sex more now you are thinner?" questions. Really???
Again sorry for the rant, just had to talk to people who would understand.
Sassy
LOL......even though me & hubby have been together for 28 yrs he "jokingly" mentioned this & I say I'm not starting over I ALMOST got you trained. I'm doing this for myself not to get another man who would want 2 ? As far as the nosey folks with the nosey questions ask them the very same question & see how quick they shut up ...LOL !
When my boss first noticed that I was losing weight (something he is very supportive of, even before I started), he made a comment to me to the effect that when I lose all the weight I might be tempted to cheat on my wife. I suspect what he means is that at my current weight, I have no temptation to cheat because women would not be attracted to me at my current weight. But at my goal weight, that wouldn't be the case. I also suspect that what prompted the comment was the fact that his son, who had weight lost surgery, got divorced after he lost his weight and married a very attractive woman. (He was unhappy in the marriage before his weight loss, so the increase of his romantic prospects as a result of his weight loss is not want precipitated the divorce).
This is something I have never thought about because I love my wife and I would not... could not... ever cheat on her. But in the past I have never been tempted to do so ... for the reasons set forth above. Has anybody who has lost weight had this become an issue with them?
Sad thing is I've also heard the same thing. People are just jealous and dont know what to say out of their mouths. Its like really how about putting all that negative energy into making positive changes in your life and not worry about mine. [Stepping back off my soap box)
When my boss first noticed that I was losing weight (something he is very supportive of, even before I started), he made a comment to me to the effect that when I lose all the weight I might be tempted to cheat on my wife. I suspect what he means is that at my current weight, I have no temptation to cheat because women would not be attracted to me at my current weight. But at my goal weight, that wouldn't be the case. I also suspect that what prompted the comment was the fact that his son, who had weight lost surgery, got divorced after he lost his weight and married a very attractive woman. (He was unhappy in the marriage before his weight loss, so the increase of his romantic prospects as a result of his weight loss is not want precipitated the divorce).
This is something I have never thought about because I love my wife and I would not... could not... ever cheat on her. But in the past I have never been tempted to do so ... for the reasons set forth above. Has anybody who has lost weight had this become an issue with them?
Yes. May not be the most popular answer to the folks in this thread and it's not something I'm proud of or completely understand, but yes... the temptation has been there despite my overwhelming love for my husband.
Yes. May not be the most popular answer to the folks in this thread and it's not something I'm proud of or completely understand, but yes... the temptation has been there despite my overwhelming love for my husband.
Love your honesty! Even if like you said its not the most popular answer.
Had hubby read this entire thread. Made him feel better. Totally not leaving. It's been 6 years together and he still makes me laugh at him. I think part of me is dieting to look better for him and improve our relationship somehow.
Anywho, thanks for letting me rant. I think the next time people ask I'm just going to say "yes I'm leaving him" just to watch their face. Lol!
WOW!!!! That's what I said outloud when I read your post!! That is SOME KINDA GALL!!
....I don't know if my VIP has ever been asked that question but now when I receive compliments or 'winks' (got one from a 20 year old recently) it actually makes me appreciate him MORE! And I tell him that...he always just smiles...I like to think "yah buster, I was in those layers and only one man saw that...look what you missed out on!" HAHAHA
...I'll be the VIP's second wife too...
Awww that is so sweet of what you said! Truly very lucky we are who have great loving and respectful men in our lives!
I love my hubby too, he loves and respects me very much just the way I am and gets happy for me with me with every inch i lose. I really am very thankful for having him!
I am finding out that my weight loss is really threatening to other people. Whatever the reason - they need to lose weight, changes in me are hard for them - I am tired of all the stupid comments as well and I am only at the beginning of my journey.
I am finding out that my weight loss is really threatening to other people. Whatever the reason - they need to lose weight, changes in me are hard for them - I am tired of all the stupid comments as well and I am only at the beginning of my journey.
OMG that is so true! Since losing weight I've started to really take more pride in my appearance at work - I used to hide under scrubs but now I actually "dress" in business casual. One woman I work with has had a sideways comment every single day about my clothes - things like "boy are you overdressed", "you like wearing jeans to work, don't you" (on a day I wore khaki slacks), stuff like that. I just let it roll, it's not like her opinion is going to change how awesome I feel!
99% of the comments I've gotten are awesome; but there were a couple that were kind of 'back-handed' compliments. A long-time guy friend of both my VIP & me said something like "Steve better watch out now!" (What?? Why?!? He loves me no matter what my size, and he wants me to be healthy!) Then my mom & someone else asked me how he felt about my shrinking chest size! (Is this really any of your business?????)
It took me until my late 40's to learn to stand up for myself, and I still have trouble with it sometimes - but for your own sake and the sake of your relationship, it has to be done. IMO.
), without their help. But I cannot believe how rude people are to others. Your example is prime!!! People can be so disrespectful! I am happy you have a loving and supportive partner! We all deserve a Brad Pitt or an Angelina Jolee!-
