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i need help for my issue..

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Old 07-23-2011, 12:12 AM   #1
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Question i need help for my issue..

Okay..so i fell off plan completely..i binged for like..4 days straight..and i didnt take a second look at eating on plan.. As i stepped back and began to think about why i was failing so much at this diet and cheating so much a couple of things came to mind..

1) I "think" in my head that i can cheat, because in the past i was on other diets that i could get away cheating here and there and still lose weight..in the end though..i always gained it back.

2) I noticed that any time i have a really emotional roller coaster type of week, i end up being so emotional, that life goes down hill..In other words..everything goes wrong..Like..all i want to do is sleep..and then i eat or dont eat and then i dont socialize...and i dont do anything except lay on a couch...

So now that i have figured out that when im really emotional i cheat and eat or binge altogether cause it makes me feel better..Im asking for ideas or creative soloutions for how to stay on plan and not cheat while still being emotional????

**Just an F.Y.I.. im not looking for encouragement or a scolding for not staying on plan.. Im looking for CREATIVE soloutions or ideas to help keep me on plan while going through emotional issues.
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Old 07-23-2011, 12:24 AM   #2
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This is hard one to do because everyone is so different (I read the FYI by the way :-) I think the most important thing is that you have identified your problem and will better cope the next time.

At any rate, find somewhat healthy binges or modifications that do not take you so far off of your plan, that way you don't feel so guilty about it.

Sometimes I go to olive garden and have the stuffed chicken marsala with veggies instead of mashed potatoes.

Sometimes I have Friday's sizzling chicken and shrimp with veggies instead of the mashed potatoes.

Sometimes I grill lobster tails with butternut squash as a treat on the weekends.

Sometimes I have 1 cup of sugar free ice cream.

I say this to say, I do these things when I have the urge to binge and completely go off plan and with these modifications I'm satisfied, I have not completely ruined my plan, it's easier to get back on track and and I don't feel guilty.

Not sure what you're looking for in terms of advice, but this is how I cope with my urges. I guess at some point when you are comfortable with your eating plan you'll be able to separate your emotions from your eating all together :-)

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Old 07-23-2011, 12:27 AM   #3
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Our family goes out to eat one night a week - usually on Fridays. Last weekend, my son went to his father's so that threw our plans off and we went out to eat on Saturday. I stayed OP despite the fact they brought my veggies drenched in butter so they had to remake them. Since they screwed up my veggies, they asked me if I wanted a dessert to make up for it. I let the kids eat the dessert since it was not on plan. Something about that whole situation just set me off. The next day, I ate ice cream. I was mad because I couldn't eat what I wanted, and then I was mad because I ate what I wasn't supposed to. I came on the forum and read all the encouraging words. I started over fresh on Monday. Today was WI #3 for me and I purchased some of the restricted bars - the white chocolate crisp (very yummy btw). I bought them because desserts are my weakness - so when I'm feeling like a need something sweet, I can just grab a bar. It feels nice to know that I have an acceptable sub for my sinful indulgence. Not sure if this will help you, but I do know that I took a long hard look at myself on Sunday night. I have stalled on so many other diets and I just want this excess weight gone. I decided that I was going to try my hardest to get through this because it is only temporary. Soon enough, I will be moving on to phase two, then phase three then maintenance. I know it is hard to stay dedicated when everyone around you chooses to eat what they want. My BF eats terrible despite my nagging. I have just decided that I want to be thin for me and nothing is going to stand in my way. I hope this helps in some way - I want you to succeed and be the best you!!!

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Old 07-23-2011, 01:18 AM   #4
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Try to find something you like that would be the least damaging to your plan. Try to think ahead-what if and then make a contigency plan. If we do not have a plan we will find a way to fail. Many of us come to IP already having beat ourselves up for a long time. Know that there are those on here who are are willing to listen. Because Internet can cross time zones with no issues there is almost always someone on no matter the time of day. Find a buddy and use them. We all like to feel needed so let your buddy be a help. It is good for both people.
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Old 07-23-2011, 09:10 AM   #5
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Have you ever heard of the Beck Diet Solution? They are books that focus on using cognitive behavioural psychology to work on those issues we have around eating. I found them invaluable, and I don't know that i would have success on Ip without them. There's a forum here, but you really have to grab the books from the library or store to get the benefit.
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Old 07-23-2011, 09:20 AM   #6
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Port - I think that trying to no emotional eat is key. Easier said than done, I get that. But, because this is a no cheat diet and cheating, no matter how small, can just really derail any progress on this one, I would lean towards trying some non-food-related treats (I think this is a good rule in general but get that we all reward ourselves wtih food treats from time to time).

Maybe do something out of the box to see if any of these work for you:
1) Do the Beck Diet Solution (buy the CDs) and work daily on retraining your relationship with food. I understand this to be a very empowering book that gives you new tools!
2) When you feel like cheating, brush your teeth and then floss with cinammon floss.
3) Paint your fingers and toes (this is a good one, wet painted nails are not good tools for eating!)
4) Give yourself a face mask (again, cannot eat with a frozen face)
5) Look at yourself neked or walk around in your swim suit. For me, looking at my cellulite is a natural appetite supressant lol!
6) Get some sort of exercise and reward yourself with a splenda sweetend crystal light when you get home
7) Herbal tea, coffee, etc. sweetened with splenda.
8) Drink an RC raspberry or tangerine -- I find these to taste like a treat!
9) Order some Walden Farms chocolate syrup and use it as an addition to a choc or vanlla drink or pudding for snack 3 if you succeed in the day w/o lapses
10) Put a dollar a day in a jar for each 100% on protocol day and then set a reward chart, i.e. for each 15 pounds you can buy yourself a new flattering item of clothing that makes you feel nice. That is probably about 3 weeks on the diet, so $21 towards cute underwear or something to make you feel pretty. Then every time you wear it, you are reminded of how far you have come, how far you will go, and how strong you are! Or you can choose to save it up for a massage a month.
11) Mini Altoids - I use these in the car
12) Freeze herbal tea sweetened with splenda into cubes (you can do fruit flavored, green tea, chocolate flavored, etc.) and then you can crush up a few and eat for a guilt free treat! You can also freeze cubes of splenda sweetened crystal light or other water flavoring type drink. You don't want to OD on the splenda, but I used this my first week to help with my desire to snack and have something to crunch.
13) Lettuce Stir Fry. You can have unlimited lettuce on this diet. Make yourself a savory stir fry. You could eat 4 a day if you wanted, and not feel bad. It isn't particularly excited but it does allow you to eat a hot something, on a plate, with a fork.
14) Avoid tempting places. Don't go out to eat, don't go to the mall, don't go through a drive thru etc. For me, that is key early on until I get into my groove.
15) Find a diet buddy to help keep you on track. You are just as responsible to them as they are to you so perhaps when you are not feeling like staying strong for yourself, remembering that you have someone else relying on you as well can help bolster your resolve.
16) Get actual therapy. I am not being judgy here, but I undersatnd that there is hypnosis, overeater's anonymous, and other resources to help with emotional eating. I admire your desire to just get it done, but I suspect that there are bigger issues lurking and once you deal with those you will be better off. Obviously I am not a professional in any regard, so take my two-cents for what its worth there ;-)

A few notes - the use of the sweets, i.e. WF chocolate, may or may not be a good idea for you if you find your weakness is sweets. I battle with this myself and find that sometimes I eat my snack or lunch early because I am craving something sweet and the more i have the more I want. Sooooo...consider these carefully before deciding this is for you!

Anyway, those are a lot of tips/tricks that i have used in the past to retrain myself (I am a boredom eater, and I tend to overeat certain food (sweets)).

Best of Luck!
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Old 07-23-2011, 09:44 AM   #7
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I think the suggestions to pick the least damaging "cheat" is a good one, I have done this myself. Some times the things I pick are really on plan, like my favorite OP meal or an extra non restricted IP food or a cup of tea or coffee (hot drinks really help me). But other times I will have a diet pop or an extra restricted. The latter shouldn't be done very often, and the trick is to not let it get to a full blown binge. For me that is hard because once I start is is hard to stop. I have trigger foods that I can not have in my house, and some of those are certain IP bars.

Other ideas that don't involve food...
Paint your toenails and fingernails
Take a shower
Clean something (I do this alot)
Exercise...this really does help relieve stress and change your mood

Sometimes it helps to figure out why you are emotional, are you angry or sad or what? And ask yourself if eating is really going to solve this problem? If I am mad at my husband because he didn't take the trash out eating that bowl of ice cream isn't going to make him take the trash out. If I am disappointed in myself because I screwed up and ate something I am not supposed to eat, eating more of that food is not going to lessen the disappointment.

Just try to commit to two weeks (or a week, whatever you think you can handle) to being OP. When you feel like you can't make it, visualize yourself at the end of two weeks being OP, and how proud you will be of yourself, and how in control you will feel.

I am an emotional eater, so I understand. It can be a very complicated problem that you may not be able to solve in a short period of time, and you may not be able to solve it by yourself.

Good Luck! You can do it.
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Last edited by brandam6 : 07-23-2011 at 09:47 AM.
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Old 07-23-2011, 09:44 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by coliep View Post
Port - I think that trying to no emotional eat is key. Easier said than done, I get that. But, because this is a no cheat diet and cheating, no matter how small, can just really derail any progress on this one, I would lean towards trying some non-food-related treats (I think this is a good rule in general but get that we all reward ourselves wtih food treats from time to time).

Maybe do something out of the box to see if any of these work for you:
1) Do the Beck Diet Solution (buy the CDs) and work daily on retraining your relationship with food. I understand this to be a very empowering book that gives you new tools!
2) When you feel like cheating, brush your teeth and then floss with cinammon floss.
3) Paint your fingers and toes (this is a good one, wet painted nails are not good tools for eating!)
4) Give yourself a face mask (again, cannot eat with a frozen face)
5) Look at yourself neked or walk around in your swim suit. For me, looking at my cellulite is a natural appetite supressant lol!
6) Get some sort of exercise and reward yourself with a splenda sweetend crystal light when you get home
7) Herbal tea, coffee, etc. sweetened with splenda.
8) Drink an RC raspberry or tangerine -- I find these to taste like a treat!
9) Order some Walden Farms chocolate syrup and use it as an addition to a choc or vanlla drink or pudding for snack 3 if you succeed in the day w/o lapses
10) Put a dollar a day in a jar for each 100% on protocol day and then set a reward chart, i.e. for each 15 pounds you can buy yourself a new flattering item of clothing that makes you feel nice. That is probably about 3 weeks on the diet, so $21 towards cute underwear or something to make you feel pretty. Then every time you wear it, you are reminded of how far you have come, how far you will go, and how strong you are! Or you can choose to save it up for a massage a month.
11) Mini Altoids - I use these in the car
12) Freeze herbal tea sweetened with splenda into cubes (you can do fruit flavored, green tea, chocolate flavored, etc.) and then you can crush up a few and eat for a guilt free treat! You can also freeze cubes of splenda sweetened crystal light or other water flavoring type drink. You don't want to OD on the splenda, but I used this my first week to help with my desire to snack and have something to crunch.
13) Lettuce Stir Fry. You can have unlimited lettuce on this diet. Make yourself a savory stir fry. You could eat 4 a day if you wanted, and not feel bad. It isn't particularly excited but it does allow you to eat a hot something, on a plate, with a fork.
14) Avoid tempting places. Don't go out to eat, don't go to the mall, don't go through a drive thru etc. For me, that is key early on until I get into my groove.
15) Find a diet buddy to help keep you on track. You are just as responsible to them as they are to you so perhaps when you are not feeling like staying strong for yourself, remembering that you have someone else relying on you as well can help bolster your resolve.
16) Get actual therapy. I am not being judgy here, but I undersatnd that there is hypnosis, overeater's anonymous, and other resources to help with emotional eating. I admire your desire to just get it done, but I suspect that there are bigger issues lurking and once you deal with those you will be better off. Obviously I am not a professional in any regard, so take my two-cents for what its worth there ;-)

A few notes - the use of the sweets, i.e. WF chocolate, may or may not be a good idea for you if you find your weakness is sweets. I battle with this myself and find that sometimes I eat my snack or lunch early because I am craving something sweet and the more i have the more I want. Sooooo...consider these carefully before deciding this is for you!

Anyway, those are a lot of tips/tricks that i have used in the past to retrain myself (I am a boredom eater, and I tend to overeat certain food (sweets)).

Best of Luck!
I agree with coliep, all great ideas..... professional help is an awesome thing. I was anorexic in my teens/twenties and the only way I started getting better was therapy. It did not FIX me, but gave me COPING mechanisms. I hear you on the food. I am a food addict, food is my happy place, it is the thing that makes me the MOST happy, eating something I love, and it ticks me off that I have to deny myself something that makes me soooo happy, that is just NOT fair, but I have to do it. I too, when I am stressed or emotional, food is my soother, it is my friend. So I hear you, and it is NOT easy, but I am trying to win the battle, hang in there, and you are NOT the on ly one who feels this way, all of us, different sizes, shapes, ages, stages of life are battling the same struggle.......
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Old 07-23-2011, 09:45 AM   #9
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Wow, a lot of good information! Good luck Port!! You can do this!!
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Old 07-23-2011, 11:15 AM   #10
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Hi Port,

I have a great book called The Four Day Win by Martha Beck (Oprah's
buddy). I learned an awful lot about how I have been sabotaging myself all my life. Here's a little write up:

Substitute a good habit for a bad one and stick to it for just 4 days, and it begins to feel normal. That's the surprising discovery that holds the key to lifetime weight control, according to life coach and New York Times best-selling author Martha Beck. Not a conventional diet or exercise program, The Four-Day Win combines evolutionary logic, psychology, and neuroplasticity (the ability of the brain to restructure itself, which suggests ways to reshape our bodies) with strategies and success stories--plus large doses of humor and an insightful, straightforward approach to teach the principles required to reverse weight issues.

how to step out of the conflict between the rule-making Commander (who bans all our favorite foods) and the rule-breaking Resistor (who gives in to cravings) and reach the Watcher, who is our happiest self


If you think this will be a book that will interest you, please PM me you address and I will (very happily) mail you my copy.
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Old 07-23-2011, 12:53 PM   #11
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Avoid the all or nothing mentality....if you healthy most of the time you will succeed. If you happen to have an off plan meal...make the next meal on-plan... the next meal...not the next day or the next week....

Just for today
...I will try to live through this day only and not tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do things for 12 hours that would appall me if I had to keep them up for a lifetime - FA :-)

Great advice above!

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Old 07-23-2011, 12:58 PM   #12
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Port,

I agree with some professional help. You need to "zone-in" on why you are so emotional and tackle that first and then approach your diet/exercise. A professional can help you with all of that. Say for instince,not saying you are, but what if you are bipolar? You can be on top of things one day and can handle what life hands you and then the next day you can't handle a hang-nail. I am not saying that to be funny, my daughter is bipolar and counseling and meds have worked wonders for her. So, like I said before, go see what the emotions are, maybe hormone inbalance? You will be happy that you did, you can gain control of your emotions, then your diet/exercise.
Good Luck!
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Old 07-23-2011, 05:52 PM   #13
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Try hard to not let yourself get over hungry. That's when cheating becomes way too tempting!
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Old 07-23-2011, 11:21 PM   #14
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I am assuming weather is nice where you are. Go for a walk and take a bottle of water with you. Drink one before you leave and drink one while you are walking and when you get home have another one. Throw crystal light in it since it will help you drink more of it. You will feel so full and not hungry at all. Walking and taking in fresh air will also get your mind off food and relax you.
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Old 07-24-2011, 01:10 AM   #15
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I had a similar issue recently. I was doing GREAT, no cheats - at least no serious ones - then BAM. I had a super crappy day, and I was back to emotional eating. I went out for a sushi lunch and had a glass of wine. I felt a little better. Then, I met up with some girls at a pastry shop after... and I gave into the worst sugar temptation. No big deal. I picked right up the next day and did fine. But then, I had a conference and was tempted with off protocol foods EVERYWHERE! I thought to myself - you've done great. You've been on this diet for what seems like forever, and you have plenty of time to make up for these mistakes. So I ate whatever I wanted to, and only sorta ate healthy sometimes. Even cheated and indulged in alcohol... When I got back, I had one day at home to try and get on track before I headed to a family reunion, where EVERYONE was astonished that I only ate a salad for lunch... then came the pressure from my cousins to get me to eat more - but it's healthy, low-fat chips, they said... Eventually, I gave in there too.

Since then, I've just taken one day at a time. I've done my best to not put myself in those positions where I might get into trouble. I avoid going out to dinners or social situations where I don't have options. I also have focused on "treats" like a sparkling water or herbal tea when I think I am going to cave.

It's hard, but we all have our issues. I struggled a lot in the past with emotional eating, but I hope that I can get 100% back on track and live each day thinking I'll be able to deal with the stress and frustration.

If you need anything else, we are all here! Best wishes for a great week for you.
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