Quote:
Originally Posted by Porthardygurl
. As for posting again on here: Im not certain that i will ever make myself known through a post again, because it appears that im not welcome and its obviously apparent, that i come across as being negative a lot of the time, when i am truly not a negative person and my posts have been mis-read for there content.
|
You are dead wrong about not being welcome here. I would bet money that even those who you hurt quite badly (as well as the people who unintentionally hurt you) do not want to see you to leave. We all want the best for you.
If you weren't welcome here, one of two things would happen. The moderators would ask you to leave, or people would stop responding to your posts and would start ignoring you. I've seen both happen, and you're not remotely in that league.
You're not any where near the "most negative" person who has ever and will ever be here. I'd even venture to say that there are for more negative people who are regular members (and most of us love them anyway, especially if when they calm down they can admit they may have misinterpreted the situation that made them rant and vent and rail against people only trying to help).
This is a welcoming place, and you arent the only person to have ever come here from a negative place. We have welcomed sad, angry, bitter and hostile, and they're all welcome to stay as long as they follow the rules (even if they never change).
We did, have, and will continue to welcome you, for as long as you want to stay, but that doesn't mean you will like everything we say. There's not a single person here, who likes everything everyone says. But to stay here, and to comment here, you do have to learn that people are going to respond from their own place. Some will be just as angry with you, as you have been angry with others. That's ok. It is what it is. As long as you don't break the rules in expressing your emotions (even the negative ones) you will be welcome here.
I'm not going to lie, there has been a lot more negativity in your posts than I usually see. It does seem to me that you have expected far more empathy than you've been able or willing to give. That does tend to annoy people (or even make them as angry or angrier than you have been). To profit from being here, we all have to be able to suck it up when we don't hear what we want to hear.
And that means that just as you have to suck it up that some of us hurt you, the people you hurt have to suck it up too. And we'll all gladly do it, because we know it's necessary.
There are all sorts of people and personalities here, even those with a lot more negativity than you've expressed, and we welcome them all, and as long as they follow "the rules" they get to stay. You're welcome here until the moderators ask you to leave, and for that to happen, you'ld have to be a lot more negative than you've been so far.
But if you stay, it won't mean that people will stop pointing out what they see in your posts, as they see it. You may think they're wrong, and some will be, but if you hear a lot of people saying the same thing, it doesn't mean they're not welcoming you.
If you don't want to post because you're not ready to hear criticism, then don't post. Lurk until you're strong enough to hear criticism without crumbling. Until you can learn to take the criticism with a grain of salt - knowing most people are trying to help, so you can take the advice that works for you, and discard the rest.
But don't hold back because you think you're not welcome here, because you are, exactly as you are. Rants and all (just remember that if you rant, some people will rant back, especially if they're the target of your rant).
On a practical note, and I am definitely NOT saying that IP is not for you, but I will say it's one of the most "hard core, tough love, bootcamp" style groups we have here. If "tough love" is not your style, you don't have to drop IP, but you may consider posting in the "softer" forums.