Originally Posted by salesgod
It's really not as easy as that. As if it's not already clear, I'm someone who is not sympathetic to cheating. I don't appreciate being told, even as kindly as you did it, to "shut up and mind your own business." I know you didn't say it like that, and that I'm hyperbolizing. But I have no intention of remaining silent when something should be said.
I appreciate that you have always said you were not sympathetic of or an advocate to cheating.
I appreciate that you have felt comfortable sharing when, why, and what you have had during both of your cheats in the multiple posts you made.
I also understand that NONE of us wants to be told to shut up and say nothing or mind your own business. REALLY, NONE of us does. Isn't that to some extent what you are telling those who come here expecting to utilize this board to find those who can and do support their approach. They aren't expecting you to say you support them or can help them if you can't/don't they just don't want to be lectured if you disagree.
Originally Posted by JessicaCourez
Ok, so I've been thinking about the spiral of this thread today, and I wasn't going to comment, but I think I will.
Some history: When I first started here shortly after I began IP, this same conversation was had by some people who are and some who are no longer posting regularly. I, frankly, was so turned off that I nearly thought I wouldn't return all that often. But then, I thought the final solution was brilliant, so I kept coming back. And I'll say, I credit my success 100% to the time and energy I've spent here. The shared knowledge is incredible.
So, here was the solution, although I can't find the post to link to it.
Although she did it much more eloquently than I'm going to, Carla simply asked everyone to stop, and started a new thread for that week. (We were still weekly then). She reminded people to be positive, then started the Ooops thread.
So, how about we take the rest of the evening off (I'm not going to start a new thread, I'm Smelting does it so much better) and start again tomorrow fresh. I loved the talk about NSV's and food choices, and how people get around sticky situations. I love to hear about the scale victories and the department store clothing victories, and the amazement of your friends and family.
Cheats go on the cheat thread, you may be new here and not know that. That's ok, but now you do.
So, everyone breathe, start new tomorrow and have a lovely rest of the evening. (Well, it's 11:03 here in Oregon, so it's probably just me and Linden left anyway!)
Thanks JC! Actually, although I did start the OOPS thread (which in and of itself created a brief drama
), it was Calgary (Samatha) that gave us a new start to the week. I had been pretty busy that day and came back to the conflict.
Yes, there is a history of this kind of conversation. It goes back to last October and happens about every 8 weeks or so. There are 2 very definite camps. There is a belief this thread is to support people in only one way. Unfortunately, there are more than one type of people on the board and ALL of us/them deserve to be supported. I asked that we not give the specifics of cheats anywhere other than the OOPS thread so we could respect that some persons are triggered to cheat simply by the words that are read.
On the other hand if someone uses the word "cheat", COME ON! it is a word, if that is all it takes to make someone falter, whose commitment should be in question???
This is such an old, recycled conversation. I can assume it will continue to come up for the life of the thread every time a new group is joining.
No, none of us needs to cheat. None of us needs to share that we thought about a cheat or with what. But, this one DAILY GENERAL chat is just that and is for all people and if someone wants to come here to find support for themselves from the pool of people using the same thread, I see no problem with that. I also don't feel we all must comment on all the posts.
The sub forum as a whole is for support. The Daily Chat which, was always called the GENERAL CHAT until it recently switched to a daily activity instead of a monthly or weekly activity, is just one part of that support. It really was and has been a neutral place for all types of support to be received and was never intended to provide support only in one manner or for one set/style of needs. There can be as many threads as people wish to create. If you want your own thread, with its own rules, and can get a following of people to contribute and provide each other support appreciated by all... DO IT!
My personal opinion on the matter is.... don't cheat. It doesn't feel good, is costly, is time consuming, isn't good for your health, interrupts the protocol and health benefits, and generally won't get you what you want.
If you are going to cheat, own it and move on. If you want to talk about it, use the OOPS thread. Whatever you decide to do, don't expect the majority of or ANY people to hold your hand and make you feel better. If you can find a kind word take it and move on.
If you don't want to read about cheats, don't respond to them. People talk about what they get a reaction to. If they see people respond to and even soften the edges of a cheat conversation, they will continue to offer that topic up for discussion. It seems simple but, if you don't reply and others also don't reply, people will stop asking for that kind of support here.
Just my opinions. I am very tired. I hope I don't come off as harsh. I am also tired of another round of "I don't want to hear about your cheat/I am entitled to my support". (round 9 this past 12 months) DING DING... can all opponents return to their corners?