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3 year maintenance anniversary of 100 lbs lost and finally feel okay saying GOAL!

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Old 04-05-2015, 01:22 AM   #1
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Default 3 year maintenance anniversary of 100 lbs lost and finally feel okay saying GOAL!

Hey everyone!

I'm sure most people won't recognize me, but I was a semi-active member here from 2010 to 2013. On April 4th 2012, I made a post in the mini-goal section when I officially met my original goal of losing 100 lbs (LINK). I had held off from making a Goal post, since I wanted to lose at least 5 more pounds. My feelings are now more refined. I feel like I did hit Goal that day and that 150 will always be my red line. I've been lower then I am right now (down to 135 for a very short time) and higher (up to 157 during some hard times), and I've determined that 150 is the true line between where I feel comfortable and where I don't. I decided to make this post because I felt I owed it to myself and that I deserved to feel like I did reach my goal, even as I create new goals for the future.

In the past three years, I feel like I've learned a lot. I've learned about my body, my mental health, my eating, and my self esteem. Sometimes its been easy, and sometimes is been really hard (I had at least one freak out here on the maintenance board). For me, caring for my mental health is one of the big keys to maintaining my weight. (I had gained 50 lbs in a year while I struggled with anxiety and depression.) If I'm in a good, or at least decent, state of mind, things generally fall into place. I've learned that I have to protect my mind first, even if that means being up 5 lbs for a few months, and that being up 5 lbs for a while isn't a huge deal if I don't let it be.

I've also learned that my body can do amazing things. I've run a 10K and had my best squat at 225 lbs for 3 reps. Getting into weightlifting throughout 2014 has been awesome, and a big part of why I feel okay about going from the upper 130s to upper 140s. I do still struggle sometimes about if I should try to be leaner. I love the look of defined muscles on women, but I think I need to figure out if that desire to be leaner is real or if I feel like I'm supposed to want to be thinner. For right now, at least, I've decided to focus on my fitness goals and eating an a way that is healthy and makes me happy. I still weigh a couple times a week and I try to pay attention to how my clothes fit, since it helps me be mindful of my habits. Luckily, almost all of my clothes feel just at comfortable at 147 as they did at 137, except for a few things that were suuuper tight to begin with . Who knows where I'll be in another year, but I feel like as long as I let myself be flexible, caring, forgiving, and encouraging with myself, I should be okay. Thanks for reading
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File Type: jpg 250 lbs.jpg (15.5 KB, 37 views)
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Old 04-05-2015, 02:07 PM   #2
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Nice work. I was struck by your comment about anxiety and depression as a cause of weight gain. I used to struggle with anxiety and depression too but once I got my diet right and exercise(d) a lot (running and weight training), these just went away. Even when I had a lot to be anxious and depressed about (broken marriage, lost kids etc.).

I also note you run and weight train. Do you find they deal with your anxiety and depression or is it just me?

I was also struck by your comment about weight gain with weight training. I am seeing some of that now. It's nice but still weird to deal with when the scale has been so absorbing.
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Last edited by IanG : 04-05-2015 at 02:10 PM.
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Old 04-05-2015, 03:00 PM   #3
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sakitnyatudisini, Thanks!

Ian, for me, I've found that success with my mental health and diet/exercise were cyclical. I'd make progress on the mental health front and that would help me make improvements with my physical health, which in turn helped me improve my mental health even more. Rinse and repeat. About 6 months before I started to lose weight, I began therapy and that helped me work on things like keeping up with hygiene and getting to work everyday. After three months I started exercising and, yes, I found it made a huge difference. Probably the biggest thing exercise did (and still does) is help me regulate my sleep. I had really bad insomnia before I started working out, and being able to get enough good sleep drastically improved my life. Things kept getting better and after three months of working out I was able to tackle my eating and things just kept improving from there.

I've also found that exercise and healthy eating have played a big part in managing my anxiety and depression. I've had some bumps in the road, but I've never gotten close to where I was. Like I said, the sleep thing is a big factor for me, but weightlifting especially helps me screw my head back on straight when I'm stress out. I'm not someone who has a strong mental/physical connection natural and my job (which I love) doesn't help. Weightlifting and running helps me manage that and then I can better deal with what's going on in my life.

On weightlifting and gaining, yeah its been weird for me too. I try not to get caught up with the scale too much, but sometimes its been hard.
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