If you would like to know more on how I did it you can read my blog. It's more detailed in some ways. My reasoning for posting this and not just copy pasting is becuase I think a lot of people know the physical aspect of dieting. As in we know not eating as much, or eating this over that will help your goal. Something I wanted to make this post about is the inside, and mental game that I struggled with and feel I won at in the end.
Growing up I was a "normal" skinny boy. I played baseball, basketball, and soccer. Around age twelve I started racing BMX bicycles. I hit puberty and it all went down hill. Around the same time I got addicted to computer video games and sat on my butt all day after school. I quit BMX, and stopped playing any sport. Bad idea when my body was growing. Instead of growing up, and in a healthy way. I gained weight fast and before I knew it I was at 220 pounds and was only 5'5. By my freshmen year of high school I was nearly 270 and 5'9.
This made me depressed because I never thought I would become the "fat kid". Even my friends made fun of me. This includes my BEST friend as well. I couldn't stand my life. I was depressed for sure, but not suicidal. I had to have a pass to get to class because I couldn't walk fast enough between classes. I couldn't run in gym class, and I for sure was picked up every single day. It got to the point where I was giving up on everything. All I wanted to do was hide behind my computer screen where I could be someone I wasn't. The idea of that felt like a high. Anything but ME was a good thing. Something I realized eventually and that was when I decided to change my ways.
From everyone including my family picking on me (not trying to help me lose weight, but literally picking on me for my weight problem), to my depression I knew in the back of my head if I lost my weight I would be happy. At first it was a physical thing. I remember thinking if I was skinny girls would talk to me and I might get a girlfriend. I don't think one girl talked to me my first two years in high school other than to copy off my paper because I was the smart kid. So I'll admit I did want to lose wieght for my looks. After weeks of thinking about it I connected that if I looked better I would feel better, and if I felt better, I would be happy, or at least content with reality. Which was all I wanted.
If you read my "about" page you will see I started the summer after my sophmore year. This is because during my sophmore year I tried SO hard to lose the weight. I did my best to eat better but no luck. I tried to include myself in gym class but couldn't get the nerves to do it. Everything I did WASNT working. I had no clue what was going on. There was a solid month I watched my diet, and actually was doing cardo daily. Yet I still didn't lose a pound. I knew I was doing something wrong. I just didn't know what. At the time I didn't know this because it just "clicked" inside of me but I learned its not just the act of losing weight that will make you successful but its your attitude, and drive that from my experience is everything.
When I tried losing weight and couldn't those few months I was missing something. That something was the desire to lose the weight. I wanted to lose weight. I was convinced I REALLY wanted to. Just my brain was still on "fat" mode so to speak. It was like my mind and body trully wanted to lose weight but ultimately my conscience wouldn't allow it. That day I said I "clicked" was the day I told myself "Joshua, do you really want to lose weight?". The answer might suprise you. I said no. I didn't want to go through the hunger pains, physical pains, stress, etc that a diet brings on folks. I didn't want to sacrifice the food I loved to eat. I didn't want to put effort in it what so ever. That's when I realized if I simply make myself want to change all those things and not worry about the results (the act of losing weight), I would ultimately lose weight. That point on it worked.
Once summer hit I had this strange drive, and motivation, and desire to lose weight. Something I never felt months earlier. Before I had a goal in mind but nothing else, and I had doubts. That summer I had absolutely no doubts in my mind I would fail. I had a goal in mind and I was going to fulfil it. When I got the urge to keep eating it would instantly go away. If I had the urge to get seconds, or sometimes thirds I instantly wouldn't. Which would have destroyed me and I would have given in. Every obsticle someone faces while on a diet I was jumping over. I just had this unknown passion inside me to help me along the way.