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NightengaleShane - one year of maintenance!

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Old 01-05-2009, 08:26 PM   #16
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Originally Posted by beerab View Post

This may sound lame but how did you go about making more friends? I'm 25 (about to be 26). I guess part of my problem is I'm married and not the type to go out partying and stuff.
I befriended my co-workers first. Through them, I met more people. I am very friendly and easy going, so I get along with almost everybody. I do go out partying sometimes, but I didn't as much when I was taken. Still, I was not opposed to a little get together, and from those, I met even more people.

I am not opposed to chatting up strangers. I have gotten into some very interesting conversatins with strangers (waitresses, people next to me in line, people shopping at the mall, etc) and in the end have asked, "Wanna hang out?" They usually do not decline, so I give them my phone number and e-mail address.

If there is anything you enjoy near you (do you like coffee houses? open mic nights? I love those), go to it, even if you have no one else to go with. If you reach out, you will make a friend.

Also, I have found out handing out a business card really helps. If you don't have a business, make one up! This gives you an easy way to hand out your contact info while making yourself look all big and important at the same time

You can't be afraid of whether people will like you, you can't be afraid of social rejection (honestly, when you don't fear it, it rarely happens!), you can't be afraid of the idea of someone *not* wanting to hang out with you (if they don't, they probably have their reasons, and they usually aren't personal -- and if they are, well, it's their damn loss!!), and you can't be self conscious over silly things.

Most importantly, love yourself. Genuinely. Trust me, the obvious aura of being truly comfortable with yourself is one that shines past crowds.
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Old 01-05-2009, 09:17 PM   #17
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Shane, aka HotNESS, congratulations on a YEAR of successful maintenance and MORE! You are just so different now from the "old days"!

And back in circulation, eh? Watch out, Gainesville!



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Old 01-05-2009, 10:54 PM   #18
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I love reading these stories. It's surefire pick-me-up. Thanks for sharing!
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Old 01-06-2009, 10:05 AM   #19
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Thanks girl, I guess I am afraid of social rejection so I don't do much- part of me is like I want to ask a few coworkers to go- but I worry they won't want to. I guess I just have to take that plunge.

It's funny cuz I told one girl at work about the restaurant and just before I was going to say "would you like to come" she said "oh that restaurant serves huge portions..." I was like :|

I like going out- I just don't like getting piss drunk lol. I'm the kind who likes to go out to a nice dinner (make better choices now) and have a good conversation.
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Old 01-06-2009, 10:58 AM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NightengaleShane View Post
... I thought that once I lost weight, I'd go attend casting calls, start modeling again, and live life fearlessly as a thin person!

Then, I realized I was STILL putting my life on hold (just like I did when I was fat) and told myself I had to STOP THAT! I was no longer overweight --in fact, I had reached my GOAL/previously THIN weight, SO I had NO EXCUSES not to do the things I wanted!

You are awesome!

You know, how interesting that statement about even at goal you were putting your life on hold. How many people think that "If I were thin I would...".
So, it's really not about weight, but about just going out and doing it - which you did!
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Old 01-06-2009, 05:47 PM   #21
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Wow! I am so impressed. And a bit sad. LOL! I think I started shortly after you and here I sit. I should be 50 pounds down too but I sat and you did all the work. I hope to be able to say the same thing by next year!
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Old 01-06-2009, 06:03 PM   #22
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Thumbs up Congratulations

Congrats on your year, Shane. That's a big deal to make a year and still be going strong.

And thanks for your continuous positive attitude in posting - you make a serious contribution to the flavor of 3FC.
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Old 01-06-2009, 09:01 PM   #23
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Congratulations Shane. You are one incredible young woman. You are SO together. I would love for my daughters to meet and know you, as would I. I guess I'll just have to settle for "hanging out with you" in maintenance - hopefully for many more successful years to come.

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Old 01-07-2009, 04:13 AM   #24
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*whispers* Pssssst, Shaaaaaane.

YOU'RE AWESOME!!!

...what an inspiration.
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Old 01-07-2009, 09:33 AM   #25
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Dear NightengaleShane,
I read your story and so relate to the part about when you lost the weight, your problems did not go away! I believe that losing my weight initially revealed my real problems. I was empty inside.
I have found that overeating is just a symptom, not the problem. I heard in church this last Sunday that addictions are an attempt to medicate a hurt or to satisfy or mask a real need. While I was in the intensity of the eating disorder, this was very obvious. I believe that to a smaller degree I still struggle with that.
A great book that has really helped me so much is called ThinWithin by Halliday. It is the most freeing balanced approach to releasing excess weight that I have seen so far! It has helped me deal with the inside and not just getting myself to stop eating!
One helpful thing that it talks about is the club of condemnation that we hit ourselves with when we blow it. I was very good at using this club. I told myself that I was the worst person ever. I felt I had no self control so therefore I felt worthless! I came to learn that it was me picking up the club, not God, my family, or friends. I thought that what I was telling myself was the truth, but now I know they are all lies. Anyway if you want to hear more about this, get the book, it is awesome!
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Old 01-07-2009, 10:21 AM   #26
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Wow. As a brand new maintainer you have answered some real questions I have been mulling over. Thanks for sharing so thoroughly.
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Old 01-07-2009, 01:53 PM   #27
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Shane - congrats on your anniversary. You are not only inspirational in your own right but you are soooooooo supportive of the people on 3FC. So glad you found your way over here - I love reading your posts.

You go girl
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Old 01-07-2009, 05:02 PM   #28
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Hi Shane, your wisdom about changing the things outside of the weight is very key, that unity of all is the aim, and that the weight is almost a symptom of other unfulfilled aspects of life.

I too am just in a band, but unlike you, I haven't lost any weight as a prerequisite. I now really would like to lose the weight , because, well... I'm being seen an awful lot by scrutinizing eyes, though I know it's about the music, not the hawt bawd playing it. I have been reading 3FC for about 3 years, lost some weight a couple of years ago, but had gained it back, now I"m starting all over heavier still. Tragic steriotype. However, after reading your post here, something is clicking in my head, about writing such a list of things that I want out of life , and shouldn't put them off as some kind of reward for losing weight. It should be the other way around, the losing weight should be the reward I naturally arrive at, after or during the other things I am striving for . Right on.

I remember you from over a year ago, when you were close to your weight goal, and I am very pleased to see you have adapted well with the change and not slid back. I recall you're a bmx rider, you answered a post of mine about bicycles once, as I have wanted to get back into cycling (mostly mtn) for fitness. Keep going to those open mics and sing your heart out. Anyway, stay on the level, U Rock !
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Old 01-08-2009, 10:48 AM   #29
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great job you look beatiful
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Old 01-09-2009, 04:01 PM   #30
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Congrats on the 1st year!! You are so amazing and I hope that I'll have the same confidence to do the things I want to do. Knowing that your problems didn't go away when you got thin helps me stay realistic. I'm hoping that I'll be fearless enough to stop putting my life on hold. You are definitely right about the fierce determination and passion. When I do something, I put all of my focus on it, all of my passion, so I can do it completely and to my satisfactory. The only thing that can stop my weight loss for good is if I give up, and I won't do that. I've waited too long for this. I used to have a thyroid problem and I'm still on medication, but, whereas in the past it made me give up every time I couldn't lose weight, this time I'm not letting it control how I live my life.

So, I'm thinking your fitness goals and steel determination will keep you going, keep you succeeding. Good luck, Shane!!
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