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NightengaleShane's story - 40 lbs lost

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Old 11-06-2007, 07:53 AM   #1
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Talking NightengaleShane's story - 40 lbs lost

I hit my GOAL and I have YOU ALL to thank!!

I went from 175 to 135; from a size 12-14 to a size 4-6; from hating my love handles to having a well-defined waist; from hating all physical activity to getting antsy when I’m not working out; from being disgusted by my thunder thighs to proudly wearing short skirts; from immense self hatred to genuine self love; from contemplating suicide to being one of the most positive people on the planet… and the list goes on.

Here’s my story. Beware, it’s LONG!

First off, I have a history of body dysmorphia (sp?). I was a skinny kid, so I ate all the time. In middle school, puberty hit me with a bang and I gained a massive amount of weight. This caused my peers to ridicule me incessantly and set the foundation for my high school eating disorders. While I stopped practicing eating disordered behavior at the age of 18, the mindset remained – I was still unbelievably afraid of getting fat.

When I first started posting here (in early June), I was twenty pounds overweight, extremely negative, had immense social anxiety, and felt over 30 even though I hadn’t turned 21 yet! I overate for the same reasons alcoholics binge drink – it drowned out my sorrows and gave me a hint of comfort – a hint of comfort that was later swallowed by regret.

What went wrong, you ask? Financial stress: bad checks from clients, a failing business and a mountain of debt. Lack of a social life. Feeling homesick for Washington DC. This all led to relationship troubles. I was *depressed* and I – the person once known as the eternal optimist – even contemplated suicide and wondered if life was worth it. It feels so bizarre to think about that time in my life, because I honestly feel like a different person now.

The weight came on so quickly – 50 pounds in 6 months – and I wondered what the **** happened! Suddenly, I was no longer able to fit my clothes. Suddenly, I had a double chin, a gut, love handles, back fat, and thunder thighs. Suddenly, I grew an ***! WOW! I really liked the ***, but I hated the rest.

I began to hate myself. Before the weight gain, I was exceptionally confident and exceedingly outgoing, but after those evil 50 pounds suddenly appeared on my body, I didn’t even want to go outside! I was once the girl that would look great no matter what I had planned for the day. However, once I gained weight, I started going grocery shopping in my pajamas, wearing sweatpants and dingy t-shirts to work, and I even stopped styling my hair.

The cat calls I used to receive within literally one minute of walking out the door turned into cattle calls. Stupid frat boys who I once enjoyed blowing off yelled out things like, “MOOOOO COW!” and, “FAT!!! HAHAHA FATTY!” People often perceive me to be a tough chick, but this kind of thing really made me cry… once I was out of anyone’s sight, of course. Anytime this happened, I decided to yell back, “ YOU! Fat people have feelings, too!”

Now, I get cat calls and turn heads again. I can smile again. I can try on clothes without bursting into tears. I’m not angry anymore. I no longer feel chronically sick, disgusting, and bloated because I no longer overeat. Sometimes, I even feel sexy again – it’s strange to feel sexy, as I haven’t for over a year! I’m no longer negative; I try to focus on the positive things my life has to offer. Embarking on this journey has changed SO many aspects of my life, many of which are not even physical. I just feel like ME again – and after feeling depressed, jaded, and ugly, I never thought I’d see my former self staring right back at me!

I have so much more passion and dedication towards life in general. I made so many excuses for not LIVING because I was overweight. I stopped acting, I stopped modeling, I stopped trying to get bands together, and I even stopped being social, but now that I'm no longer that person, I'm ready to finally get out there again! I’ve started arranging business plans to get my companies and ideas off the ground. I have so much energy and vitality… and oh! I no longer feel like a burnout whose best years have passed!

I've never truly been fit and healthy until now.

Thank you, lovely ladies. I couldn’t have done it without you. No one was around to give me any kind of support until I came here. I was relatively unmotivated until I saw your success stories. Your encouragement forced me to stay on plan; I can’t thank you all enough for it.
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*Maintaining my weight loss (give or take; this IS a constant journey) from October '07 onward * I could not have done it without all the support from the lovely ladies (AND gentlemen) on this site!

My GOAL Story
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Old 11-06-2007, 07:58 AM   #2
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Thank you so much for posting your amazing weight loss journey. It means so much to those of us just starting out. Stories like yours give me hope that I can reach my goal too. You are an inspiration to so many people like myself. Thank you.
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Old 11-06-2007, 08:00 AM   #3
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Congratulations Shane!!!

I know you have worked so hard to lose weight, get fit, and adopt healthier habits (bodily and mentally). Your posts are often so mature that I forget how young you are (this coming from my 'old lady' self, hehe). I know this is just the start of a lifetime of good health and happiness for you.

Well done!
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Old 11-06-2007, 08:05 AM   #4
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Congratulations!! your hard work has really paid off! you look fabulous!
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Old 11-06-2007, 08:07 AM   #5
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Quote:
Suddenly, I grew an ***! WOW! I really liked the ***, but I hated the rest.
I'm sorry, but I lost it right there. Coffee all over the keyboard.

Thanks for putting it all into words ... it's so honest, so heartfelt, and so YOU! Megan's right; you're a wise soul and seem so much more mature than a lot of us old folks. Thank heavens that you got smart and figured out this weight loss stuff while you're still YOUNG and have time to truly live and enjoy your life.

Congratulations, Aidyn! We're all so, so proud of you.
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Old 11-06-2007, 09:42 AM   #6
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Kudos to you Nite! I wish you success in your maintenance and your career life too, go you and become a successful lil entrepreneur!
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Old 11-06-2007, 09:46 AM   #7
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Great job, NS! Love your pics, and thanks for sharing your story.
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Old 11-06-2007, 09:57 AM   #8
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Yay, Shane! You look fabulous, darlink!
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Old 11-06-2007, 10:04 AM   #9
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wow. What an amazing story.

Congratulations on your loss.
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Pounds: 19.6lbs
Inches: Bust: 4.0 UB: 3.5 W: 5.0 H: 3.0 Total gone: 15.5 inches

To Go: 4.4lbs
Check out my story so far (and some before & current pics):
http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/mini-goal-photo-album/151455-cant-believe-im-about-do.html
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Old 11-06-2007, 11:41 AM   #10
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^^^^
I tried to do a round of applause, but the layout of the clapping smilies wouldn't stay in the shape of an "O". Nothing stays round around these parts for long, I guess...even the smilies go from O-shaped to skinny!

At any rate...

Congratulations on your transformation, inside and out. Reading your story made me really proud of you for all you've overcome! Looking forward to seeing you in the maintenance section!
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Old 11-06-2007, 11:49 AM   #11
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Thank you for posting your story! Not only is it truly impressing, but I must admit it's exactly the kind of thing I needed to read right now. You go!
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Old 11-06-2007, 01:31 PM   #12
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Thanks for posting your story and your pictures -- you look wonderful!! I always look forward to reading your posts because you're so positive, intelligent, and encouraging! Congratulations!
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Old 11-06-2007, 01:39 PM   #13
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Shane, I was thinking the same thing as Megan and Meg. You are so mature sounding and wise beyond your years, I forget how young you are sometimes. Which makes what you did and how you did it, even that much more remarkable. How someone so young can get it together so fully and totally is quite a feat.

Anyway, I'm just so very happy for you. You've set yourself up for a long life of good health and happiness. You sound so vital and exuberant and it's simply marvelous!! Congratulations on your huge accomplishment. I feel so fortunate to have been able to share in your journey even a tiny bit. I look forward to spending many successful years in maintenance with you.
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Old 11-06-2007, 02:35 PM   #14
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Congratulations on reaching your target. Thanks for sharing your story of your weight gain/loss. It is very inspirational showing me and other like myself that no matter how you feel their is something that you can do for yourself.

From someone here who has alway been overweight I fully understand the name calling and the crying behind closed doors. People think because your overweight your deaf or have no feelings.

I only wish that I had started my weight loss journey as young as yourself as then I would not have had so much weight to lose and also since then I have been dx with MS which makes exercising difficult.

Enjoy your new body and enjoy your success you deserve it for all your hard work.
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Old 11-06-2007, 04:01 PM   #15
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Congratulations ^^ Thanks for posting your story. I read these when the times get tough and know that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
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