I do have to admit that one problem with the pee analogy is that people don't usually pee for reasons other than releasing, well, pee. I'm sure there are emotional pee-ers out there (it takes all kinds, right? lol) but many people do eat for emotional reasons. The important point is that your body will guide you to eat at the right times, in the right amounts, of the right foods if you listen to it. Many of us have become estranged from our body's guidance in a way that we haven't with other self-guided systems like urination. Another example of this is thirst. Your body will guide you to drink when you need water, however, we are urged by doctors and health advocates to fill ourselves to the brim with water (8 glasses a day). That suggestion is actually falling out of popularity- people have realized that human beings do not need to be encouraged to drink more water. The body if fully capable of handling that on its own without external meddling.
Remember, science changes constantly. What is recommended one year may be discouraged the next by well meaning scientists, doctors, and health advisers. Intuitive eaters look internally and not externally for guidance. I'm having that time of the month. It's socially encouraged to eat chocolate to make yourself feel better. We hear about it all the time- eat chocolate on your period, it makes you feel better, etc. etc. Well guess what- I wasn't listening to what I really needed and ate some dark chocolate- now I feel sick to my stomach. Chocolate made me feel worse. I probably should have just stopped at eating a piece of fruit for breakfast because I wasn't that hungry to begin with.
I was reading an opinion piece earlier today that described the cause of the obesity epidemic as a problem of our "ancient bodies" being surrounded by tons of cheap, highly palatable and caloric food. The author claimed that our bodies are wired to consume all the food we can if it's available. What horse poop! You know what happens when you binge on chinese food, donuts, and candy? You feel awful. If we were really wired to eat as much as possible we would feel awesome after consuming a mountain of delicious food.
We who listen to our bodies know the difference. We know that we don't feel good overeating rich food. I feel the best when I eat a mixture of different things- sometimes I have a really healthy dinner, other times I eat a very tasty rich meal that's usually a much smaller portion. It makes my body feel energetic and my mind feel so happy. Not every meal is perfect, but when I eat just right my tummy feels like a happy little balloon that has been filled just enough.
Locke sometimes it takes a long time for my mind to accept what my body already knows. That's the hard part for me. I know I'm going to feel terrible if I eat a certain food but sometimes that's not enough to stop me. It has gotten easier over time though and I accept that this is slow progress. A huge difference between me now and me several months ago is evident in my level of energy after dinner. I used to eat a lot and snack at night which resulted in never having the energy to clean up after dinner in the kitchen. Now that my evening meals are regularly the lightest meal of my day I find myself energetic post dinner. I clean the kitchen, prep my salad for the next day and have plenty of energy left for other chores too. This is a major improvement in my quality of life that I didn't even realize I was lacking before.
I have noticed the same thing, too. I used to not be able to do much in the evenings. If I eat just right I can get a lot done. I used to just call myself lazy because I didn't clean up after dinner. It's funny how something that's physical becomes a moral issue. I eat dinner very early (around 5pm). Last week I was totally craving a milkshake. So I stopped at a place on the way of from work- I ate a little too much of it because it was really really good. I started feeling really energetic (probably from the sugar) and went out for a long walk with the dog. I got to see the sun set behind the golden gate bridge, and San Francisco all lit up after nightfall. By the time I was done I felt just right- satisfied and energized but not overly full or lethargic. Yeah I ate too much but my body adjusted accordingly. The next day I wasn't even hungry for dinner and had fish and vegetables for lunch. I'm so happy I can eat what I really desire and my body takes care of the rest.
I haven't been here to post in a while, but I thought I would check in and share my recent experience. I have actually found a way to eat Intuitively and lower my bs at the same time. Someone on the diabetic thread found a sticky about a book will tells about Magic Foods. After reading what was w.ritten there, I decided to see if it was still in print. I found it on Amazon and it's actual title is "Magic Foods for Better Blood Sugar". It is the best book I have ever read about foods and how they work in our body. I have tried for some time to get back to eating low carb using IE and I just couldn't do it. I like some of the higher carb foods, but I didn't know how to eat them and help my fasting blood sugar. This has taught me how to eat some of the higher carbs which you usually cannot eat and keep blood sugar low by eating other foods that balance out the meal so that it doesn't cause high insulin jumps.
The wonderful thing about this is that I can finally eat Intuitively. I can eat the foods that I really love to eat not feel guilty or feel like I'm on a diet. I was trying to do combine it with an 8 hr window Intermittent Fasting, but I'm not getting hungry when I should stop eating within an 8 hr window. It more like 9 hrs which I read somewhere works well for women. Because I am doing this IE style, I refuse to eat if I'm not hungry so I decide to allow myself to fall into the 9 hr window whenever needed. I don't want to fall into a hard fast "diet rule" either.
I'm not losing weight very fast, but that is okay because my fasting blood sugar has come down from the 140s to between 104 and 108 in less than a month. No food is off limits so I can eat whatever I went when I'm hungry. I just had to share that. It is so nice to be free so that I'm not thinking of food all the time and I don't have to count anything... no calorie, carb or points counting.
I found a cool book that I'm going to get from my library called "It Was Me All Along"- a memoir about one woman's struggle to find a normal relationship with food. I've read a sample and it seems very powerful and similar to what I've struggled with. I thought others here might be interested. You can google it- it's available on Amazon.
Edit: I read the whole book yesterday. I'm not sure how helpful it is. The author lost weight using weight watchers and *then* learned how to eat intuitively. She also had surgery to reduce her excess skin. Because of this I don't feel like it consistently promotes body acceptance. She's thin now and has enjoyed all of the benefits associated with being attractive by societal standards. She didn't have to do the hard work of accepting an overweight body, or one with loose skin. She talks about dealing with emotional eating but not in a way that makes it a lesson for those who are trying to do so. She did a lot of journalling and went to therapy. The rest of it was pure white knuckling because she wanted to be thin. So while it's an interesting story, especially for people who like me have been emotional eaters since childhood, I found the resolution quite unsatisfying. Plus she was prom queen of her high school and had a really supportive boyfriend through college- two things I don't identify with at all.
Well it's been a slow few days here but I'll give a little update on myself. I've been way stressed this week- my company is downsizing and layoffs were imminent. Luckily I survived with my job and I'll still be getting the same compensation. Unfortunately this is not true for several of my coworkers. Things are looking up for me right now. I'm making friends in my ED support group. I'm grabbing coffee with one of the girls tomorrow. I'm seeing a guy who loves my body and treats me with kindness and respect. I'm making progress on my master's thesis (woohoo!) so I'm less stressed about that.
My eating has been a little bit erratic this week but I'm settling down into a nice pattern. I have found that "light" feeling that you get when you've eaten until satisfied but not full. It makes me feel super energetic and not sluggish. I've found myself gravitating towards lighter foods. Fruit, toast with hummus, small amounts of nuts and seeds, oatmeal, veggies, etc. I'll usually have a small amount of fish or chicken with dinner alongside vegetables/greens and toast, potato, or rice. I eat frequently and lightly.
So yes, good times! I hope you lovelies are also doing well.
Have not been that hungry the last few days. But today while grocery shopping, I really felt like I wanted to snack on something right there in the store. Had not felt like that in a long time. Not quite shaky hungry but hungry. I was going to stop at my favorite BBQ joint, but suddenly I didn't feel like it and I also was craving salad. The only real option for me was Applebee's which I haven't eaten at in years. The only salad that sounded good to me was grilled chicken Caesar salad.
While eating, the dessert list was staring me in the face and I noticed they had salted caramel pretzel bites. Normally I can ignore dessert just fine, but this kept getting to me. So I knew that not getting it was succumbing to the "diet" notion as it would have felt like deprivation to not get it. Luckily, they offered a half size order. Really, I could have had a HALF order of that as I had already satisfied the feeling of enjoying without deprivation; but I felt good that I got what I truly wanted, and it all hit the spot,
Last edited by Mad Donnelly; 01-31-2015 at 01:31 AM.
Love it! It was always a little weird calling you "wannabe" hehe. Grats on the new name!
ditto about Palestrina,,,,,,so I guess I need to change my name too.
How does FinallyHappy sound to you all?
Locke, I'm so happy for you too. Sounds like it is going good and we all need those happy times once and a while. Actually all the time would be great, but we'll take what we can get
Last edited by FinallyFree; 02-01-2015 at 12:18 AM.
Interesting thoughts about IE. I haven't been on much because I have honestly stopped thinking about food. That thing with my mom on Christmas really was a learning moment for me and I realized that its time to be happy with my body like it is right now. I resolved to never diet again and I actually mean it this time. I also resolved to be happy with my body exactly the way it is. I stopped being obsessed with losing weight or IE. My focus shifted to getting our house clean and decluttered, and actually reading some fiction books.
Something that has really helped me is that Im not homeschooling this semester. It's just me and my grazing toddler at home all day long. There are no set meals and I find I just eat a little something to keep myself from being hungry whenever I notice Im hungry. I don't even know what I have been eating because I am not keeping track. I just eat what sounds good. I have NO GUILT when I eat sweet things or fat things anymore. I don't think of them that way. Often I find myself delaying a meal, not because I want to be hungry or I think I should but because I am really into what I am doing and I don't want to stop to eat.
My clothes all fit the same way they always did but I don't feel like I am exerting any kind of control whatsoever over my eating. I don't think anymore about whether or not I should eat something or if it will make me gain weight. I think the hugest shift for me was not weighing myself and resolving to never diet again, no matter what my body was doing. I think it was Locke who said they realized they can't change the shape of their body by what they eat or don't eat and I realize how true that is for me too.
I also stopped exercising. But, I find that I am naturally more active because Im so busy during the day doing things I want to do.
Yesterday we carried a giant box containing our daughters bunk bed and I thought about maybe lifting weights again. lol But, I need to hold off on that, its too closely associated with body improvement and not accepting my body exactly the way it is.
Also, yesterday I realized that I have not ever held myself or my self worth as something of value. Always in the back of my head subconsciously, I have been thinking that if I was only a little thinner, THEN I would have value, if my body was just a little better, then I would be worth something. I realized yesterday that this has been a brilliant way for me to never give myself self worth. Due to my upbringing and my own issues, its very uncomfortable for me to realize and feel that I am a valuable person who does have worth. That was another eye opening moment. I had read that in many books but it never rang a bell for me. I guess I had to come to it on my own. I also think I went about it the deceiving way. I would tell myself I deserved to have the body I wanted. Not that I was worthy and deserving of good things right this second in my body exactly the way it is and in fact it has NOTHING to do with my body. Self worth and body being tied up was a good distraction for me.
Anyway, hope that made sense, I am still working through it so its a bit convoluted.
This process takes a long long time I think and it sounds like we are all doing great.
Last edited by Pinkhippie; 02-03-2015 at 11:03 AM.
I'm still making progress. Some days I eat more than I'd like, but some days, I eat great. Best news of all, my self talk is getting so much better.
I'm also starting to use this philosophy in all areas of my life. I'm focused on getting enough sleep, downtime, and fun time with friends.
I'd love to find a great man, but that is another story......
I find myself doing the same. I'm in treatment for an eating disorder. The group therapy I do is called "nurturing the self". It's based on the idea that eating disorders are caused by not fulfilling your own emotional and physical needs. I try to very non-judgmentally understand what I need as a person; food, water, rest, socializing, etc. and I try to give myself what I need as best I can. I have good days and bad but I'm making progress.
Locke that's great that you're being more social. I'm at a point in my life right now where my friends are scarce - my closest friends live in other states and my work colleagues here are friendly but we're not close. I really miss time with my girlfriends and just spent the weekend visiting my BFF in another state - it was time well spent, I so needed to reconnect with her and it made me realize how starved for social interaction I am.
Pinkhippie I didn't know you were so preoccupied with losing weight still. It seems to have a hold on me too but I'm glad you've pulled yourself out of it.
I mentioned this on another thread but I'll mention it here too that in reading Josie Spinardi's book I read a passage that really struck a chord with me. I'll quote it here:
"I was reading recently about a study that I'll quote here from a book by Josie Spinardi called "How to have your cake and your skinny jeans too." It's really helped me to make sense of this "I don't care" mentality that used to come over me right before a binge.
"The study found that people who did not emotionally eat did one thing differently than people who used food to cope with emotional distress. When faced with a stressor, the non-food-users engaged in task-oriented-coping. They took direct action to resolve, mitigate, or eliminate stressors. They focused on solving. Conversely, the people who did use food engaged in emotion-oriented avoidant coping behaviors. These people were much more likely to think that they were unable to mitigate a stressor, and as a result, focused on soothing themselves with food. Since they (often falsely) believed that they could not changed the situation, they focused their efforts on minimizing the distress they experienced in response to the stressor - they tried to change their feelings. ... This cognitive powerless belief pattern is closely tied with depression. It is a phenomenon known as learned helplessness."
Not only does this help me understand why I'm prone to turn to food for coping but it helps me understand what I need to do to stop that.
It was always a little weird calling you "wannabe" hehe. Grats on the new name!
