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Intuitive Eating: July 2014

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Old 07-16-2014, 07:29 AM   #76
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Congrats Pink it sounds like you've reached another milestone in your IE journey.
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Old 07-16-2014, 11:27 AM   #77
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Thanks Wannabe! What's interesting is I have come a long way emotionally. I have dealt with stuff I haven't ever looked at and also with things I didn't deal with for a long time. I also got better at setting limits and realizing that I have needs and its ok to meet them and to take care of myself AND to ask others to respect that and my body is just a reflection of all of that. I would still like to exercise more but I really don't want to and so right now Im pretty sporadic. I hope I can overcome that eventually. Im not quite sure how to exercise "intuitively". I guess one thing that has changed is I have become aware of how my legs feel heavy and uncomfortable if I sit for a while and so when I get that feeling I make sure to stand up and move around, do housework, whatever, because I like how I feel when I do that.

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Old 07-16-2014, 03:14 PM   #78
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I pulled out all of the stops and I'm really eating what I want- which is a lot of junk right now. I'm not feeling very well this week- emotional and I think I'm getting sick - again! Ugh. I'm also struggling with eating in front of other people. This morning for breakfast I had a ham sandwich with american cheese and potato salad. My first instinct was to wolf it down at my desk so no one could see what I was eating. I live in a very health-conscious part of California. I forced myself to eat it slowly and to not care who saw. I work next to the front door so this can be difficult in the morning- everybody walks in and looks at what I have on my desk.

I hate shopping for groceries with a cart full of "bad" foods, too. I always took pride in having a cart full of vegetables, fruit, and lean meats. Now I'm eating through a lot of childhood foods- hamburger, white bread, mayo, ice cream, candy. I feel... vulgar. Yesterday I had a mild freak out on the bus home from work. I have a touch of social anxiety and sometimes on a crowded commuter bus with people touching me on all sides I can't help but panic. This gets turned into anger at my body. I found myself ruminating on things like "If I was only thinner and prettier so-and-so would have liked me" and just generally hating on myself.

I'm pretty sure this is all hormones or getting sick but it's no fun. I'm trying to take care of myself and not give into the sadness or the anger. Last night I got home from work and just cried and cried. I fell asleep crying around 7:00pm and slept on and off for about 11 hours. Today I'm just foggy headed and irritable. Every little thing is bugging me- the way people breathe, how they smell, sounds. I know this is PMS but it's bad this time. Gah. Anyway I just wanted to get that all off my chest.
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Old 07-17-2014, 03:19 AM   #79
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Locke I wish I could for you a virtual hug. You're being very hard on yourself and it is indeed a good time to eat without restriction. I'm starting to think that eating without restriction is an elusive and maybe impossible concept. Like enlightenment. Just know that the path is not always straight. We must have tr downs in order to be really conscious and appreciative of the ups. We must brace ourselves for the downwards hills of the roller coaster.

Have you ever considered chi gong? I've been practicing daily since December and I find that it gives me an inner peace and stability that I wouldn't have believed if I didn't feel it myself.
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Old 07-17-2014, 10:46 AM   #80
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Locke, you're not the only one reaching for comfort foods. So never feel bad about that. Do you think that oreos exist because only one guy out in Idaho likes them? Nope.

For instance, the other night for dinner I had two hot dogs. In buns. With relish. AND on the side of that I had a frozen ranch mac and cheese side.

The night after that I had a dairy queen cherry sundae. For dinner.

And you know what? That's ok. Pretty soon you'll be wanting that chicken and green salad all over again.
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Old 07-17-2014, 10:53 AM   #81
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Hey all..... I was reading this today and this is where I hope to be someday: http://isabelfoxenduke.com/why-im-no...-eating-coach/

Locke: I hear ya sister. I'm right there with you. Grace, just remember that you deserve Grace. AND, I think a ham sandwich and potato salad is an awesome breakfast!! really it is. and I bet it tasted so wonderfully to you and that is what you are striving for. I'm also glad that you are feeling your feelings - something that we all used to avoid with food, remember? It's going to suck but it's so healing too. You hang in there! *hugs*

I am so sad. I am also hormonal right now, so I know that is part of it but I am just so depressed. So depressed that I went searching for the candy last night and I didn't have any because it honestly didn't occur to me to get any the last time I was shopping (WIN!). then I decided to just ask myself why I was feeling so down? what is going on? and reminded myself that it's ok to feel like this sometimes and maybe I don't need a reason, it just is. It happens and it's ok - it doesn't make me a lesser person or weak, it is what it is. Just ride the feelings wave. I think I've never done this before because it bothers other people. My husband was visibly upset that I was feeling this way last night but I told him, it's ok, I just need to feel this way for a while. It's harder for me around the kids since I always want to be strong and upbeat with them but last night I just told them I wasn't feeling well - they understand that and it was fine. Today, I might do some more just chilling out and feeling the mood. I also need to get a jog in as that always helps me feel better but yesterday I just couldn't get it together and that's ok too. I am human, I deserve grace and to feel my feelings when I have them!
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Old 07-17-2014, 12:55 PM   #82
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Thanks for all of your encouragement. I'm feeling much better today. I just needed some rest.

@Wannabe I will look into Qigong. There are a few classes in my area- do you take a class or do you do something at home?

@Owls- Yes on the chicken and green salad. I tend to think so black and white about stuff. I feel like if I eat candy and chips for a few days I'm going to eat that way *forever*. Chicken and green salad actually sounds really good right now lol.

@Jen- that's a good point about grace. And yes, that breakfast was delicious!

I am part of a community on reddit that seeks to not care about things that you don't have control over. I was reading an article there and one of the ways that they recommended to learn to not care about what people think of you is to do something you feel is embarrassing. Well for me, eating anything around people is embarrassing and particularly "fattening" foods. So now it's my mission to go out of my way to do embarrassing stuff like that in front of people so that I can learn not to care. I also am trying to look at my body in a more factual way. Today when I got out of the shower I looked at myself in the mirror and thought "I've got a big butt". Then I did a funny little rump shake and sang "who's got a big butt? I've got a big butt!" It was fun to sort of make light of it and laugh it off. Yeah I'm fat, and I might want to eat a donut sometime. So what? If other people care about what I eat that's their issue to deal with.
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Old 07-18-2014, 02:04 AM   #83
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Locke there is no class. I use YouTube. This one has been te most beneficial to me. I start my day with this at least 4-5 times a week http://youtu.be/7VVTsotiIms

I started doing it at home. Now I go outside and do it at the park.
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Old 07-20-2014, 10:08 AM   #84
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It's quiet around here. Nothing exciting to report. There are some stressful family situations that rouse my appetite but nothing I can't handle yet. More pressing is the issue of meal times. It's not easy to feed on demand when someone is always looking and commenting. I really don't eat much, but I eat often and that upsets my mother. Mealtimes here are also ridiculous. Lunch is usually around 2 and dinner is after 9. That is very hard to adjust to. Breakfast is the worst. People here only have a cookie or a piece of toast, and I go all out scrambling eggs for myself. Even though I tried explaining to my mother that eating breakfast is really really important in order for me to stay on track during the day she still gives me snide comments or strange looks when I eat breakfast. It's hard to be mindful and then come lunch time she's like "how can you be hungry after eating soooo much?? If I are that breakfast I wouldn't be able to eat for the rest of the day!" And even though she doesn't say stuff like this often the fear of her saying it is just as intense.
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Old 07-20-2014, 12:14 PM   #85
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Wannabe that is just awful. Stay strong and keep taking care of your needs.
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Old 07-20-2014, 05:15 PM   #86
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Wannabe, wow you sure are getting a great opportunity to stay in touch with what YOU need regardless of external factors. But still, that would be really really hard for me. I would not be able to do just toast for breakfast every day. some days I can do toasty breakfasts, and some days I need eggs. Also, eating after 9 would be so hard for me. Do the kids eat that late too? We go to bed at like 10 or 10 30, I can't imagine eating a meal that close to bedtime.

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Old 07-20-2014, 08:24 PM   #87
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I agree with the others, you are a saint. Keep plugging away.... Hang in there!
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Old 07-21-2014, 02:47 AM   #88
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pinkhippie View Post
Wannabe, wow you sure are getting a great opportunity to stay in touch with what YOU need regardless of external factors. But still, that would be really really hard for me. I would not be able to do just toast for breakfast every day. some days I can do toasty breakfasts, and some days I need eggs. Also, eating after 9 would be so hard for me. Do the kids eat that late too? We go to bed at like 10 or 10 30, I can't imagine eating a meal that close to bedtime.
Ugh don't get me started on the kids here. There is no bedtime! They're up until midnight or later! We stay true to our own schedule because my 3 yr old cannot stay up after 10 and would you believe I am criticized for it? This is a very social community so we are with company very night either here at the house or out at events and we always leave early. We are told we are unfair for taking our kid away from the festivities during a vacation. Even though my kid is cranky, crying and asking for his bed. I think thy think we're lame but it's hard not to notice the difference in my kids behavior from the other kids who are so seriously sleep deprived lol. I think I hate it here.

If I'm honest I'm blaming my mother for the thoughts in my own head. She is the physical manifestation of the food police even if she says nothing. The criticism is mostly in my head.

This is indeed an opportunity for me, I don't know if I will survive well. I wish I didn't think at all about hunger, satiety, or losing weight. I just want to eat and not think.
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Old 07-21-2014, 09:31 AM   #89
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Wannabe, we are in a somewhat similar situation. I'm currently staying at my parents (i'm on vacation) and they have diferent eating habits and a lot of unresolved issues when it comes to food. They don't understand some of my dificulties and that i cannot eat just a piece of some things without binging. It's really hard. I guess it would be easier to me if I were in your situation when it comes to meal schedule.... little to no breakfast at all is just my thing and lunch at 2 and dinner at 9 is close to my actual schedule. In Brazil people have a breakfast that sounds a lot like french breakfast, with fruit, bread and maybe iogurt. Our lunch is a sit down-and-eat-together meal and is very filling (the idea of eating a sanduich for lunch is alien to me) and then we have dinner which in many homes is something like sanduich, breads, fruits, etc, a lot like breakfast. We'll have small snacks between those meals. My parents don't understand that i eat almost nothing at breakfast. I'll eat a fruit by 10am and then have lunch at 12 ou 1pm, which puts me in a situation in which my lunch is actually my first meal, a big one! I'll have a filling snack at 6 then dinner (not a heavy one) at 10pm. That's what works for me. I can adjust if on vacation, but i feel no hunger at breakfast...

My parents make it hard for me to maintain my healthy habits and will offer everything chocolate and everything cheese. So hard... My dad can also be really inconvenient and calculate the calories of what i'm eating without beeing asked. He used to be obese like me but he's lost weight so he is constantly giving me tips and telling me about what he ate, how he gained a kilo, how he discovered the right way to lose weight, etc. It's annoying and i'm sure he is competing with me. Also he will offer people food he feels guilty eating and this way everybody is eating something "wrong" which makes him feels less guilty. He will also starve himself when he is scared he's gained weight and he chooses to do so when we go to a fancy restaurant... lol.... it's so strange!

Hang in there, parents and family can be our biggest challenge!

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Old 07-21-2014, 11:42 AM   #90
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Wannabe, have you told your mom about IE? I was thinking about your situation yesterday and I don't remember you mentioning it. My mom can get fussy about food, too, but she backed off when I told her about IE and how what I was doing was in a way a weight loss scheme.

I had a great IE weekend! Weekends are easy for me because I usually eat a big brunch and then maybe a small snack in the evening. It makes me happy because I get to eat a big hot breakfast, which I prefer but can't really have on the weekdays because I eat at work. My appetite has waned somewhat over the last week. I think I'm finally getting back into the IE groove. Is my diet a spectacular example of healthy eating? Heck no! But I find it satisfying and I'm not stuffing myself. This morning I ate two boiled eggs and a crumpet with lemon curd- I had more food left but I felt like I'd had enough. I'm always really excited when my body tells me to stop before I've finished my plate. So yeah kind of happy today.
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