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Intuitive Eating: July 2014

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Old 07-11-2014, 01:59 PM   #61
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Honestly, I like whole wheat pizza with vegetables. When I was in Italy, not all pizzas came with cheese and rarely with meat, certainly nothing like our pepperoni pizzas here in the US. I never cared for pepperoni pizza when I did eat meat. The pizza in Italy was delicious. As long as you have fresh vegetables and a nice, chewy crust, you are golden. I am guessing they were going to Papa Johns though which I didn't care for their pizza. There is a chain that makes awesome vegan pizzas called Mellow Mushroom. I love their pizza so much Anyway, I think it is part of perspective.

I also disagree with the no oil movement within veganism. I mean people do it but oil is delicious. I made a yummy smoky rice/kale/bean dish this morning and added olive oil and herbamere (herbs/salt) made it outstanding with some Frank's hot sauce on top
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Old 07-11-2014, 04:26 PM   #62
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Thanks for the support ladies. Jensassy I have tried talking to her a few times in the past about my ED and she tried to be sympathetic but I know she doesn't really understand my disordered eating since she has never experience anything like it. She's naturally thin. She's always fighting 5lbs.

I think I've made her sound horrible and in some ways it is stressful but I just feel I need to say that she is great in a hundred other ways. She does tend to harp though so if its a matter of changing a shirt or not hearing tr end of it for the rest of the night then id rather just change it and get it over with. I think it comes from a place of her wanting me to look my best and fitting in with the locals. And yes as Locke mentioned, she once threw a tantrum and refused to go out unless I changed my sons shirt.

I'm trying to stand up for myself but the anxiety of it is really messing with my hunger cues.
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Old 07-11-2014, 05:55 PM   #63
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Originally Posted by Wannabeskinny View Post
Welcome welcome. I'm so glad you were able to find trust in yourself. Trusting yourself around food is very freeing. If we're not always worried about the far the carbs and the calories we're worried about the scale or the pedometer or the food log or the pants that won't fit. We believe that if we do not subject ourselves to harsh controls that we will not have the wisdom to choose the right foods. But you trusted yourself and enjoyed yourself and saw that the world did not implode. That's great to hear

... Though I am a little curious as to what I said that made so much sense to you no am normally viciously hated around the other threads for my ridiculous IEing.
Thanks for the welcome. Actually it was your reasons you listed of why you were no longer tracking, depending on the scales etc. After my experience with the trip and then trying to unsuccessfully get back on a diet per se, I suddenly realized that I think using those things trying to get back on a diet was what was keeping me from continued success I had found on the the trip. By tracking, counting calories/carbs (I do mostly low carb), I was setting myself up for failure.
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Old 07-11-2014, 07:41 PM   #64
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Wannabe: aughh!!! Im sure your mom is great but what you shared with us is painful to read. Im sorry you have to go through that. I obviously completely and totally understand feeling like that with a parent but Im sorry you have to go through it. It's hard enough to be in a different country with different eating customs in someone elses home without dealing with that. I didn't realize your comment said share, I thought it said please hate your answer. Which I thought was kind of weird but now I see it said share. lol!

I think I have internalized a lot of issues from my parents but they actually have moved past them and I am stuck. My mom reappeared and ended up moving down here. lots of drama long story but things have settled down now and today I was hanging out with her and I made some comment about myself being huge or big and muscular. Not in a negative way either. And she stopped me and told me I had a warped perception of myself and that I wasn't the amazon that I always think I am. It really shocked me to hear that. Its been part of my belief system I have absorbed. My dad was always giving my mom a hard time for weighing more than him . ( she was 155, he was 145) He is skinny. I grew up thinking my mom was BIG. She is my height also. So, I guess naturally I think IM big. My mom is actually pretty delicate looking. She is tall but not a giant behomoth and she never was. I really need to look at myself with new eyes. I told her I was built bigger than her and she didn't think so. Anyway... total tangent there.

Locke, I had to eat lots of pizza with no cheese when I was breastfeeding because my babies were sensitive to milk and I learned to like them but I really do prefer cheese. They are definitely not as filling that is for sure.

Nelie: yes my dad and his wife actually eat the forks over knives way. No oil. I think that makes it pretty hard. I would love to try a pizza from italy, I bet they are way different.

welcome quietstorm!

So, we have lots of delicious food in the house right now but Im not hungry. Sigh... I have really come to the point where I don't like to be stuffed and I can't really eat when Im not hungry without a lot of discomfort. When I weighed more I had lots of stomach pains and problems and now I dont'. I think its because I was just stuffing myself with food. A couple days ago I overate some cherries and my stomach hurt for about 6 hours. I recognized that pain and was like, oh that is how I used to feel back before I did IE.

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Old 07-11-2014, 07:50 PM   #65
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Pinkhippie, that is a shame. The pizza in italy was awesome, drizzled with olive oil,fresh herbs and all that

I'm jealous of Wannabe being in Greece although I know the family struggles.

I've had such a good week. Normally, I eat dinner before my husband gets home but last night, I wasn't hungry so I was able to put myself on hold and then I didn't feel hungry until 8pm.

I hope everyone has a good weekend
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Old 07-12-2014, 08:29 AM   #66
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Thanks for the welcome. Actually it was your reasons you listed of why you were no longer tracking, depending on the scales etc. After my experience with the trip and then trying to unsuccessfully get back on a diet per se, I suddenly realized that I think using those things trying to get back on a diet was what was keeping me from continued success I had found on the the trip. By tracking, counting calories/carbs (I do mostly low carb), I was setting myself up for failure.
That was a recent revelation. I can't believe how much room in my mind these things occupied. That's a lot of headspace. A constant prison of numbers and stats. I feel like I have so much more clarity. These things do interfere with our ability to listen to our inner selves.
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Old 07-12-2014, 11:44 AM   #67
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Good morning everyone, thanks for the welcome.

I think when I lost my first 50 lbs I was doing some kind of intuitive eating. It was actually fasting that helped me feel what real hunger was because I only broke fast when I was actually hungry. I had to be in tune and listen to my body so think I have a pretty good understanding of this concept and I think I can do this and be successful.

Right now I am struggling with the "I need to lose weight now so I can be the best me" thoughts. I weighed myself this morning. I am now 245.5, I have lost 4.5 lbs this week. I am so happy about that but maybe I am doing something wrong? I shouldn't be emotionally attached to the scale right? Its so hard to break away from that but my clothes were getting snug again so it is good to see a loss.

On a good note, I ate with wonder, asking myself if I was satisfied, what did I really want, etc. I want to go get some salsa, chips and oreos but I don't feel like getting out of the bed. I'm not hungry either I think about food and then I think about something else. This is somewhat new because I am obsessive about it on the weekends because I live alone and I deal with loneliness.

On the way home last night I passed by several fast food restaurants and my mind just said stop there, stop, and I just kept driving. I was not hungry at all but my mind was telling me something else. Could this be emotional hunger? I am a little confused because I am looking at things differently. A week ago I would have stopped and bought a lot of food and ate it within minutes while watching tv.

Someone mentioned that OA does not allow sugar. I am happy to say that the sponsor I work with does not restrict any foods nor does her sponsor. I am shocked that I found someone like that because a lot of the members do talk about restricting certain foods. That is torture to me! I am still trying to see if OA is for me but I like it so far.
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Old 07-12-2014, 11:15 PM   #68
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Thanks for the support ladies. Jensassy I have tried talking to her a few times in the past about my ED and she tried to be sympathetic but I know she doesn't really understand my disordered eating since she has never experience anything like it. She's naturally thin. She's always fighting 5lbs.
Oh I'm so glad that you've tried talking about it with her, that's huge!!!

Do you think that always fighting five pounds is normal or a little bit of distorted eating? I'm pretty sure I learned this from my parents, just a thought....

Glad to hear all is well with everyone. I went to a "frozen" birthday party with my youngest today and realized one of the songs had a line re: distorted eating. Anna is stressed and wants to stuff chocolate in her face. Ugh, Disney, really???
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Old 07-13-2014, 01:04 PM   #69
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If we want to talk Disney and messages, have you ever thought about why Snow White took the apple?

Self Esteem. She didn't want to be looked badly upon, so she took the apple even though she didn't want to. She wanted to please a stranger.

We can think about food in the same way and social situations. Why do we take the poisoned apple at BBQ's? Gatherings? Self esteem. We don't want to hurt feelings.

Boom. I just went Disney deep.
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Old 07-13-2014, 07:04 PM   #70
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If we want to talk Disney and messages, have you ever thought about why Snow White took the apple?

Self Esteem. She didn't want to be looked badly upon, so she took the apple even though she didn't want to. She wanted to please a stranger.

We can think about food in the same way and social situations. Why do we take the poisoned apple at BBQ's? Gatherings? Self esteem. We don't want to hurt feelings.

Boom. I just went Disney deep.
That.was.awesome!
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Old 07-14-2014, 09:37 AM   #71
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Oh I'm so glad that you've tried talking about it with her, that's huge!!!

Do you think that always fighting five pounds is normal or a little bit of distorted eating? I'm pretty sure I learned this from my parents, just a thought....

?
I would not say it is distorted eating. I think there is no black and white when it comes to disordered eating. There is a range of eating behaviors and everyone falls somewhere on the spectrum. My mother eats what she wants whenever she wants it but she's a small eater and doesn't want much when she is hungry. She falls prey to dieting notions from her friends but she stays true to herself. I know many women who battle an arbitrary number of pounds like she does. Don't you? That feel their best as 132 for example.

Things are going ok. I'm trying to eat slowly and confidently and trying to enjoy all there is to eat here. I'm doing my best to maintain my sense of self compassion. I'm feeling good and I realize that some f my hunger is real and some of my hunger is anxiety. I'm trying to distinguish and probably under eating in some circumstances, Overeating in others. Without a doubt I'm more hungry here and eating more snacks than I got accustomed to back home. I think I'm ok with it.
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Old 07-14-2014, 02:32 PM   #72
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I have several rather jumbled thoughts... bear with me here.

Jensassy: I have been using that 1 minute meditation and it has been very helpful! Thank you.

So, over the weekend we had a lot of food here. I really wanted to eat some of it but I wasn't hungry. However I found myself eating some anyway. I was wondering if it had to do with yet another enthusiastic compliment about my weight loss and I was talking to my husband about it. I told him I wanted to eat when I wasn't hungry. And he said " so what? It's ok to eat food for fun sometimes. you don't ALWAYS have to be hungry." His words really struck a chord in me and I realized I was STILL exerting a measure of control over my eating. ie eating when I was hungry and ONLY when I was hungry and of course stopping instantly at satisfaction point. I realized I really needed to let go of that. I was still experiencing guilt for eating when I wasn't hungry which was leading to overeating even more. That is why I was eating when I wasn't hungry. That inner rebel again.

And finally, I now fit into all my old clothes. Im back to my original clothing size I wore before kids. ( my body shape is different and so is my weight, but the size is the same.) So, Im content with where I am. I set my original goal based on a weight I was 12 or so years ago before I had any children. My body has changed and I need to recognize that for myself. My two original goals not based on a number were 1.) able to wear my wedding ring again, and 2.) to be able to fit into all my old clothes. I have reached both of those goals and I feel at peace and content with where I am so I changed my weight goal to reflect that. I noticed I had to start eating less than I feel like I want in order to see the scale go down and that is not where I want to be. That is the total road back to eating issues and ironically weight gain.

So, I am still continuing to practice mindful eating and staying away from the dieting mindset. Those things are still tricky for me.

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Old 07-14-2014, 06:50 PM   #73
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Pinkhippie,

Congratulations!!! It must be so wonderful to fit back into your clothes again. You are an inspiration.
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Old 07-15-2014, 11:30 AM   #74
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Wannabeskinny: I do know some of those types of people - always wanting to lose 10lbs. They restrict themselves like crazy and then binge, never losing those magical 10lbs - gee I wonder why? That's why I ask.. just a thought.

PinkHippie: CONGRATULATIONS GIRLFRIEND! holy crap is that awesome. you are completely the after picture - so proud of you! Also, I think your husband is a gem and he's right. Normal eaters do eat for fun, they just know when to stop. A few posts back you also mentioned that you now turn your nose up to eating if your not hungry (not your exact words but the gist). I do that too, like if I pass by the candy jar and take a piece but I'm not hungry. One bite and I'm like BLECH - gross. why did I do that - so not good. This is a huge change for me as I think it would be for most of us. Such a good change!

I'm hanging in there - finally kicked my defunct IE dieting coach to the curb. I had been putting it off and then finally I just called and said, I'm cancelling and no one said boo. I can't believe how I didn't see it before that she was so still into dieting and control and all that. I feel sad for her and her clients who sometimes just want to eat for fun, or to be kind to themselves, or whatever. I'm done being mean to myself - and it feels good!
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Old 07-15-2014, 05:30 PM   #75
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Thank you Locke and Jensassy! Honestly it is quite surreal. At my highest weight I wasn't even able to get my old jeans up my legs, let alone over my hips. I never ever thought I would be able to wear them again. I think Im still in shock. I also have been so focused on food and my weight for so long that now Im a little at a loss. In a good way though. Sounds like you are doing great Jensassy! Thanks for the husband compliment. I think my husband is a gem too. He has been so supportive of me and actually has had some good insights along the way.

Anyway IE works. Its a hard journey in many ways because I think you really have to delve into issues that go way beyond food but it is definitely worth it.

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