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Intuitive Eating: July 2014

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Old 07-07-2014, 04:24 PM   #31
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Originally Posted by owlsteazombies View Post
No. I'm talking about not caring about food when you go out. Going so far as to spit out food instead of swallowing the one bite. Those are what sent out the alarm bells and red flags in my mind.

I didn't care because I knew I wasn't going to eat it. I would pick at meals, pretend to be "full". I would split things because I knew my husband would eat more than me if I deliberately ate slow enough. I skipped appetizers because of the calories.

I'm just wondering if you're not subconsciously restricting is all
You were actually talking about me . No, I'm not restricting. I buy food, order food, etc. I'm jut full quickly. And when I say that I'm calm about it and uninterested in it it means that I'm not counting our basket of French fries and making sure he's not eating my share. I mean that I am genuinely not afraid that we haven't ordered enough food for the table.

My anxious food self is always worried he'll eat my portion. That my 3 yr old will want some of my food and that I won't want to share. I have eaten meals before meals because I'm worried that the food won't be enough. I can't split a pizza with anyone because the toppings have to be to my exact specifications. This type of anxiety is gone. Oh the waitress forgot to bring me my soup? No biggie, I'm fine without it. No more fries left? That's ok. My son decides that my sandwich looks good? Here, have half. It's like I finally realize that the food is enough and even if it isn't I can order more if necessary - which I have done many times. I spit the food out because I are it by accident, distractedly as we chatted and my body didnt want it. I wasn't restricting, I just happened to hear my body say "no thanks I'm full".

Locke well done. I hope you enjoyed your vacation. Sounds like it was a bug success.
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"Binging is a descent into a world where every restriction... is cut loose. At its core is a feeling of deprivation.. a feeling you can never get enough. Binges do not signify a lack of willpower or inability to care for yourself. On the contrary, binges are a urgent attempt to care for yourself when you feel uncared for. They are the voice of survival. Binges are the mark of the self that says, 'I am tired of feeling deprived, of being told I am wrong, that I am bad." - Geneen Roth
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Old 07-07-2014, 09:39 PM   #32
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Sounds like everyone is making some progress. This is definitely a baby step journey that requires lots of patience!

I've been struggling with emotional eating myself. My FIL has us really stressed out. He has no boundaries with us. Just stops by whenever he wants with no warning and just barges into our house. I am a SAHM so I'm home a lot and never know when he'll just come walking in. I feel like I have no privacy. Yesterday was the icing on the cake when he shows up at 10am while we're sitting eating breakfast. Trying to come up with a way to gently tell him enough is enough. He's 80 years old with no hobbies and no friends. He became a widow about 1.5 years ago but moved about 4 hours away from us for about a year. Now he's moved back by us and this is what we're dealing with. It's very frustrating to say the least. I've taken a lot of walks to try to clear my head and avoid food. I haved turned to food a lot though even when I know it won't solve anything. Baby steps for sure!
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Old 07-07-2014, 10:51 PM   #33
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Hi everyone, i'm joining this discussion after being invited by Wannabeskinny.

I'm brazilian and my englisn in kinda rusty so i'd love if you don't mind my grammar and spelling mistakes.

The concept of IE is somewhat new to me and i've tried it since the begining of this year. I lost 14 kgs (+- 30 lbs) since january and i feel energetic and healthy. I strugle sometimes to differ emotional eating from real hunger but i guess this will get better with time.

I have several restrictions when it comes to food. I'm one of those people whose gastrointestinal sistem is fragile. Some people have bone issues, some people have respiratory issues... i have gastrointestinal issues. Everything, from a stressfull day at work to a happy day has the amazing capacity to change my gastrointestinal tract upside down. It's been that way since i was a kid. There are times when i can't eat dairy at all and then a few weeks later i can. Meat is a big NO and i am a vegetarian. Sugar will make me feel sick at times and some days i can't even eat grapes without reading a whole novel in the bathroom.... IE has been helping me a lot to deal with such changes.

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Old 07-08-2014, 07:31 AM   #34
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Welcome Marina, your English is very good so don't worry. Congratulations on all the weightloss, that's a lot of weight to lose on IE, I've only managed 10lbs since February.

I know a couple of people who have a sensitive GI tract, a friend who seems to suffer in the same way you do and my husband who doesn't suffer often and when he does it's due to eating too much of one thing and not enough fresh veggies. Most of the time his troubles stem from not drinking enough water so I have to chase him around with glasses full of water for a few days until he gets better.
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"Binging is a descent into a world where every restriction... is cut loose. At its core is a feeling of deprivation.. a feeling you can never get enough. Binges do not signify a lack of willpower or inability to care for yourself. On the contrary, binges are a urgent attempt to care for yourself when you feel uncared for. They are the voice of survival. Binges are the mark of the self that says, 'I am tired of feeling deprived, of being told I am wrong, that I am bad." - Geneen Roth
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Old 07-08-2014, 08:38 AM   #35
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I know I don't post much here but has anyone read Brain over Binge? It is quite fascinating. It isn't IE really but someone who had no weight problem, started dieting and as a result suffered from Binge Eating Disorder/Bulimia until they realized that the reason they urged to binge was initially due to dieting and then as a habit. The entire idea is that restriction/dieting caused the issue in the first place. I know many of us started dieting young (I was probably 10 when I went on my first diet).
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Old 07-08-2014, 11:54 AM   #36
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I love brain over binge. I was an emotional eater with a weight problem during childhood but I didn't have a serious problem until I started dieting. That's when I became a binge eater, then a bulimic, and then orthorexic. That book really helped me understand where some of my issues come from.

I weighed myself today for the first time in weeks and I'm up five pounds. I'm trying not to care about it but I do. It's frustrating. I'm not having the urge to diet, really, just wondering what I'm doing wrong.
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Old 07-09-2014, 08:57 AM   #37
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I saw this interesting research that may be of interest...
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases...0707134331.htm
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Old 07-09-2014, 09:30 AM   #38
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I think this is awesome, nelie!! I remember how mortifying it was to be at work when a new weight loss challenge would roll around. All of the skinny people would sign up and give me a knowing look. It felt like a body-judgement free for all and I was always the loser. There was no way for me to get through it and maintain my dignity. If I participated and lost weight, well it's because I was so fat so of course I would win. If I participated and didn't lose weight, well, she's a fat pig so it's sad that she didn't change. If I don't participate, it's bad too. Nothing good for my body image, self esteem or health would come out of something like that. It would trigger all of the things that a diet would but even more. (I usually tried to lay low and not participate.)

But as the article said, even for the "skinny" people, losing their 10lbs, they will regain it and keep their own cycles of restriction, binge going. It's not good for anyone.

I really hope this movement catches on and more people get it. I believe that we can be a few pounds overweight and still be a normal eater - but for those of us that have become significantly overweight, it's very likely the result of disordered eating. It makes sense to treat it as an eating disorder. It's just as ridiculous to put an anorexic patient on a diet as it is a " " (man, there isn't even a good term for it because over feeding is just as disordered as underfeeding). Whatever, lol. You get my point.

But for the general population, teaching mindful eating can help anyone be healthier and maybe lose weight. It just makes sense. I wonder how many of them, though already do it (subconsciously).
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Old 07-09-2014, 09:37 AM   #39
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I had a funny IE moment last night that I thought I would share.

My husband and I have a wine and cheese night every couple of weeks where we just eat wine and cheese and bread with oil for dinner and make a picnic in the living room and talk. (hardwood "laminate" floors, lol)

Anyway, so I went to the gym after work and left in my workout clothes. I realized that I forgot to buy bread, so I stopped at the grocery store on the way home. Still sweaty and wearing my gym clothes, I loved the looks I got when I bought a loaf of *gasp* BREAD and then a few more "treats" to keep on hand - and some grapes and pears because I love them. I just smiled to myself.
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Old 07-09-2014, 10:05 AM   #40
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Welcome to Marina Brasil and BeachBreeze2010!

@Locke: the scale. ugh how I hate that dang thing. I am only weighing myself once a month otherwise I just can't handle it and I'm afraid I'll restrict, diet, or overeat because of what it says AND it feels too much like dieting to weigh myself more than that. How are you clothes feeling? 5lbs can be water weight, or just your body adjusting to your vacation and now coming back to your routine. I'd let it go and check back in a month.

@Maria Brasil: I am gluten free due to health reasons so I definitely know about having to eat a 'special diet'. Hang in there and eat just what feels right to you out of what you CAN have. That's what I do... and if I don't readily have a GF version, I make it!! It's more work and planning but keeps me sane and happy.

@beachbreeze2010: I go to stores all sweaty after a work out ALL.THE.TIME. I never notice if people are looking at me funny or not probably because I stopped caring around the time women stopped ensuring "their hair was done, they had lipstick on, and a fresh pair of white gloves" before going out of the house! We are so lucky to live in these carefree times in my opinion... it used to be so much worse for our sisters before us. I do however LOVE your picnic idea. so nice, simple, and easy. Have you lost all of your weight on IE?

I had another lackluster appointment with my IE coach. I have also decided to end it with her even though we have 2 sessions left. I'm tired of being yelled at for an hour each week about being accountable and how shameful it is that I let myself get to a 7 on my hunger scale and not keep it to a 5.5 or 6. She also yelled at me several times to "JUST GROW UP" yesterday. I completely shut down and she wondered why I had no reaction to her. I just don't need that crap anymore? This is what got me to where I am quite frankly and she sounds way too much like a diet fanatic to me. So that's that, I'm 'growing up' and moving on!
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Old 07-09-2014, 11:05 AM   #41
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Hi Jen!

No and yes? I lost the weight you see on the ticker on the "divorce diet" about 3 years ago - extreme stress upsets my stomach and made it hard to eat and then I chose to handle my stress with running and exercise rather than food or alcohol because it made me feel better (maybe a seed of IE?) - voila' BIG weight loss in a short period of time. I had read the Overcoming Overeating book 2 years before that and liked the concepts but just wasn't ready mentally to do it. I originally joined 3FC before that trying to lose weight the restriction diet way - and was unsuccessful for more than a few pounds up or down.

Then, my new boyfriend (now DH), and I watched the Forks over Knives documentary and really liked the idea. We followed the plan for awhile and something interesting happened - I learned that I like "real" food and that my body felt better when I ate it. I found that I chose those foods over processed foods because I genuinely wanted them. But wait - it's not "ride off into the sunset time yet, lol" - then the holidays came and bring on the meat/cheese/sugar binge and 15lbs of regain.

That following January, it all finally clicked for me. I remembered the Overcoming Overeating book I had read before and thought about how it made me feel eating whole foods (good but a little deprived) and how it felt to eat the holiday foods (icky after more than just a little bit). Cue the music and light shining from above - If I could eat mindfully choosing foods based on what made me happy, I could achieve some balance and could enjoy ALL foods again.

So, the short answer is that no, I didn't lose the weight on IE, but it is what has helped me maintain my weight for 3 years and then lose that 15lbs I gained over the holidays.

Interestingly, when I was the closest to mindful eating, was the time that I maintained/lost weight and when I had the most restriction and subsequent binge, I gained weight. And I truly believe that mindful eating is what will help me continue to lose. I feel that there is more weight to lose because there is still room for improvement for me in eating mindfully. I am still working on self care and body image and self esteem. For me, I think my progress on that will have a direct impact on weight loss.

I believe that weight loss (at least the 100lb kind) isn't linear. It's a series of trial and error. And more of a mental health journey than a nutritional/exercise one. (But I am a HUGE believer that part of mindful eating is a food discovery journey that should include a wide variety of natural foods. I think our bodies were designed to run properly on real, actual food and that processed, sugary foods should be enjoyed to the extent that we really want them.)

I didn't mean to write out a life story! Oh well, it's an intro.
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Old 07-09-2014, 11:16 AM   #42
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Originally Posted by jensassy View Post

I had another lackluster appointment with my IE coach. I have also decided to end it with her even though we have 2 sessions left. I'm tired of being yelled at for an hour each week about being accountable and how shameful it is that I let myself get to a 7 on my hunger scale and not keep it to a 5.5 or 6. She also yelled at me several times to "JUST GROW UP" yesterday. I completely shut down and she wondered why I had no reaction to her. I just don't need that crap anymore? This is what got me to where I am quite frankly and she sounds way too much like a diet fanatic to me. So that's that, I'm 'growing up' and moving on!
Jensassy! How horrible! You sound like such an upbeat and positive person, your coach sounds like the very last person you need in your life. Or anyone for that matter. Sounds like maybe she is preaching the eat when you are hungry stop when you are full diet. She also sounds abusive. yucko. Glad you are kicking her to the curb.

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Originally Posted by BeachBreeze2010 View Post
Hi Jen!

No and yes? I lost the weight you see on the ticker on the "divorce diet" about 3 years ago - extreme stress upsets my stomach and made it hard to eat and then I chose to handle my stress with running and exercise rather than food or alcohol because it made me feel better (maybe a seed of IE?) - voila' BIG weight loss in a short period of time. I had read the Overcoming Overeating book 2 years before that and liked the concepts but just wasn't ready mentally to do it. I originally joined 3FC before that trying to lose weight the restriction diet way - and was unsuccessful for more than a few pounds up or down.

Then, my new boyfriend (now DH), and I watched the Forks over Knives documentary and really liked the idea. We followed the plan for awhile and something interesting happened - I learned that I like "real" food and that my body felt better when I ate it. I found that I chose those foods over processed foods because I genuinely wanted them. But wait - it's not "ride off into the sunset time yet, lol" - then the holidays came and bring on the meat/cheese/sugar binge and 15lbs of regain.

That following January, it all finally clicked for me. I remembered the Overcoming Overeating book I had read before and thought about how it made me feel eating whole foods (good but a little deprived) and how it felt to eat the holiday foods (icky after more than just a little bit). Cue the music and light shining from above - If I could eat mindfully choosing foods based on what made me happy, I could achieve some balance and could enjoy ALL foods again.

So, the short answer is that no, I didn't lose the weight on IE, but it is what has helped me maintain my weight for 3 years and then lose that 15lbs I gained over the holidays.

Interestingly, when I was the closest to mindful eating, was the time that I maintained/lost weight and when I had the most restriction and subsequent binge, I gained weight. And I truly believe that mindful eating is what will help me continue to lose. I feel that there is more weight to lose because there is still room for improvement for me in eating mindfully. I am still working on self care and body image and self esteem. For me, I think my progress on that will have a direct impact on weight loss.

I believe that weight loss (at least the 100lb kind) isn't linear. It's a series of trial and error. And more of a mental health journey than a nutritional/exercise one. (But I am a HUGE believer that part of mindful eating is a food discovery journey that should include a wide variety of natural foods. I think our bodies were designed to run properly on real, actual food and that processed, sugary foods should be enjoyed to the extent that we really want them.)

I didn't mean to write out a life story! Oh well, it's an intro.
I love life stories! Thanks for sharing yours. I also stop eating in times of extreme stress when something really bad is happening in my life. I lost all my first baby weight plus some with my divorce. I felt too nauseous to eat. Anxiety eating is different though. I really want to eat when Im anxious.

The wine and cheese night sounds like such a cool idea.

Welcome Marina Brasil! We are glad to have you on our thread.

So, Im just hanging out, waiting to be hungry for breakfast. That used to make me really anxious, like I would feel like I have to eat something but now I don't worry about it. I know that my food will taste better if I wait until Im hungry and I will pick something I really want.

eta: I have seen intro threads on forums for specific groups or ways of eating. Would there be a way to do an IE intro thread somewhere? Or should people just post on this thread?
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Old 07-09-2014, 01:06 PM   #43
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So I finally got hungry around 11 30. I made myself a peanut butter banana sandwich with some red grapes and it was DELICIOUS. A funny thing I have noticed is that I always used to eat my crusts but now I break my sandwich into pieces and eat the soft part first. By the time I reach the crusts, Im not hungry any more. I have turned into my five year old.

I have been feeling really anxious and its annoying. However, I do not want to eat. In fact, i think that is why I am feeling SO very anxious. I have a ton of stuff to do and I don't seem to be able to do it. Instead I just sit and feel overwhelmed. At least Im not dealing with it by overeating but I am also just paralyzed. I need to figure something out besides eating and paralysis.
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Old 07-09-2014, 01:50 PM   #44
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I want to eat through anxiety also. I've found that just a bit of exercise helps a lot. Self talk can help. Trying to re-frame my thinking. Challenge my anxiety provoking thoughts. I tell my husband that he's my Xanax sometimes because 10 minutes just laying peacefully against him without talking and I'm calm or at least significantly calmer.

When I get that overwhelmed feeling, sometimes actually writing my to do list down rather than churning it in my head over and over helps. Then I can see it and start to prioritize it. Usually just the act of writing it helps me because a lot of my panic is over forgetting what needs to be done.

Just curious - do you have a mitral valve prolapse? I do and have read a lot about the connection between it and anxiety. I have days where I think sometimes the cause is just heart rhythm and there's not much I can do about it.
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Old 07-09-2014, 03:26 PM   #45
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I talked to my husband via email and he told me to just do my exercise and it did help. I also realized my kids are being super draining and needy today, making it hard to set limits with them and its been hard to focus on getting stuff done so its made me feel anxious. I managed to get a few things done after I exercised.

A list is actually a great idea, I find getting stuff on paper and out of my head is helpful when it comes to emotions, I should try doing that with stuff I have to do too. Make it seem less overwhelming. Thanks.

I don't think I have a mitral valve prolapse... I do know that I get anxious easily to where I can feel my heart beating really fast. I think that is normal for everyone though. That used to happen to me a lot at night and make it almost impossible to sleep. A few days ago I was on the elipitcal taking it easy when I had an anxious thought that made my stomach flip. I felt my heart rate zoom up and when I checked it on the heart rate monitor on the elliptical it had gone from 115 or so to 198. Well the elliptical is not accurate but it can show an increase.
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