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Intuitive Eating: July 2014

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Old 07-05-2014, 09:40 PM   #16
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@pinkhippie: good for you! After my horrid "i'm so tired and all I want to do is eat" day, I went back to reading "breaking free from emotional eating" by geenen Roth. She is so kind, empathetic, and just so nice about it all. She also said that if you are really in a situation where eating is more humane than not doing it, then you need to go ahead and do it. Everyone she says eats emotionally, so for us to think that it will be gone forever or that we'll be cured, it just isn't so. What we can do like the naturally thin, is to know when to stop. This is so much hope for me.

@wannabeskinny: great idea. I love your list and I hope you keep in touch on your vacation.

I've been super busy! Had the family over for the 4th of July. We went to a parade, had a picnic, launched legal fireworks, and went to see the real ones before falling into bed. Today was all about yard work. We worked super hard in the heat today. My skinny husband didn't eat a meal until 7pm. I told him that it wasn't healthy.......or is it? Sometimes I think I'm so still into meal times like I've always known them and with kids you kind of have to stay on routine, but do I personally all of the time? I think I still need some work on this one.

Tomorrow is another day.....
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Old 07-06-2014, 09:23 AM   #17
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Welcome, brooke1218.

Wannabeskinny, I really like your list of items. I'm not wearing my Fitbit today either.

Owlsteazombies, I still weigh myself every day most of the time. It's a habit. The numbers I see each day don't throw me the way they used to. I know a scale isn't THE most accurate way to gauge progress, but it's still a tool. I don't think you have to quit using it if you don't want to.

I have the urge to diet today, and my weight is bouncing up and down by a couple of pounds each day, but I know it's in response to a very frustrating family situation that I have a lot of anger and stress over.
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Old 07-06-2014, 11:07 AM   #18
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Originally Posted by Truffle View Post
I have the urge to diet today, and my weight is bouncing up and down by a couple of pounds each day, but I know it's in response to a very frustrating family situation that I have a lot of anger and stress over.
I've been having this too lately. I keep seeing articles on this magic pill and cleanse..... Then I get sucked in. It's a total addiction. My heart races, I get excited and think it's what I've always been looking for.... Sigh.

It's nice that you know what yours is tied to! Then you can talk yourself through it.
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Old 07-06-2014, 02:15 PM   #19
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I think I have improved a bit on the dieting front. I used to look for free books on amazon about dieting, now I look for free books about mindful eating, emotional eating, or intuitive eating.

Jesassy: Breaking free is a great book. It sounds like it was a good idea to re read it.

My MIL noticed my weight loss this weekend and it made me feel weird. I never know what to say to comments of weight loss. my dh says I should say thank you but a big part of me rebels at hearing comments of weight loss as a compliment. I prefer to take it as a statement of observation and fact. But then I don't say thank you so I feel rude.

Still working on setting limits and boundaries with my ever encroaching family. It's feeling a little more comfortable now and Im surprise by how my family seems to be reacting. They actually seem to be pretty respectful. It's still hard not to feel mean though.
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Old 07-06-2014, 08:04 PM   #20
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I had a revelation! I ate a small amount of dinner so I could save room for a dessert! Idk why but I have a hard time doing that. Like when I sit down to eat, I want to feel like I ate, so it was weird to be done and still be hungry but I did it! It was a big step four me!!! Yay!
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Old 07-06-2014, 10:59 PM   #21
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Originally Posted by Pinkhippie View Post
My MIL noticed my weight loss this weekend and it made me feel weird. I never know what to say to comments of weight loss. my dh says I should say thank you but a big part of me rebels at hearing comments of weight loss as a compliment. I prefer to take it as a statement of observation and fact. But then I don't say thank you so I feel rude.

Still working on setting limits and boundaries with my ever encroaching family. It's feeling a little more comfortable now and Im surprise by how my family seems to be reacting. They actually seem to be pretty respectful. It's still hard not to feel mean though.
I'm assuming that compliments about your body mean more than the words on the surface. Perhaps those compliments indicate to you that there was something wrong with you before? That's what it means to me anyway. Someone says "wow you've lost weight, you look great" and all I hear is "wow you were much fatter, you looked awful before." Maybe?

My husband is really starting to notice a difference in my eating habits. I'm a lot calmer around food and generally less interested. Whenever we order take out or go out to eat I'm very laissez-fair and let him make a lot of decisions I wouldn't have let him make before. I split fries with him, I skip appetizers, I order a lot less food and eat little of it, I let him pick the restaurant most of the time. He's asking me if I'm alright because I eat so little of what's on my plate. Today at dinner he got concerned when I spit out a bite of food. What actually happened is that I was full and distractedly I took another bite of my sandwich and when it was in my mouth I really really didnt want it so inspired it out lol. That's how sensitive I've become to my satiety signals.

So here's a little problem I'm dealing with now. If I'm out shopping and I happen to get hungry I but foods that appeal to me at that moment. I bought a big tub of yogurt, a bag of tortilla chips and white bread. It just sounded good in the moment. When I get home I eat whatever appeals at that moment which does not include any of the goodies I just bought, I fact I don't look at them for days. Until a few days later when they suddenly appeal to me because I saw them in the pantry. What do I do?
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"Binging is a descent into a world where every restriction... is cut loose. At its core is a feeling of deprivation.. a feeling you can never get enough. Binges do not signify a lack of willpower or inability to care for yourself. On the contrary, binges are a urgent attempt to care for yourself when you feel uncared for. They are the voice of survival. Binges are the mark of the self that says, 'I am tired of feeling deprived, of being told I am wrong, that I am bad." - Geneen Roth
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Old 07-07-2014, 10:55 AM   #22
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Originally Posted by Wannabeskinny View Post
I'm assuming that compliments about your body mean more than the words on the surface. Perhaps those compliments indicate to you that there was something wrong with you before? That's what it means to me anyway. Someone says "wow you've lost weight, you look great" and all I hear is "wow you were much fatter, you looked awful before." Maybe?

My husband is really starting to notice a difference in my eating habits. I'm a lot calmer around food and generally less interested. Whenever we order take out or go out to eat I'm very laissez-fair and let him make a lot of decisions I wouldn't have let him make before. I split fries with him, I skip appetizers, I order a lot less food and eat little of it, I let him pick the restaurant most of the time. He's asking me if I'm alright because I eat so little of what's on my plate. Today at dinner he got concerned when I spit out a bite of food. What actually happened is that I was full and distractedly I took another bite of my sandwich and when it was in my mouth I really really didnt want it so inspired it out lol. That's how sensitive I've become to my satiety signals.

So here's a little problem I'm dealing with now. If I'm out shopping and I happen to get hungry I but foods that appeal to me at that moment. I bought a big tub of yogurt, a bag of tortilla chips and white bread. It just sounded good in the moment. When I get home I eat whatever appeals at that moment which does not include any of the goodies I just bought, I fact I don't look at them for days. Until a few days later when they suddenly appeal to me because I saw them in the pantry. What do I do?
I definitely agree with the bolded. I also noticed that when you typed out the words compliments on your body it made me uncomfortable. It makes me really uncomfortable when people notice and comment on my body. Im not sure why, I mean we ALL have a body. Maybe it goes back to my body image issues or body size equaling self worth. It definitely gives me something to think about. Thanks for the observation.

I have that same issue with buying what sounds good in the moment sometimes. Can you take some food with you that you like to eat when you get hungry and snack on it when you feel hungry so you aren't shopping while hungry? I don't like to be in a store when Im hungry because I end up buying stuff I won't even eat later.
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Old 07-07-2014, 11:30 AM   #23
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I've actually said to people, "what in the heck did I look like before?" Then I realized that people are just trying to be kind. Maybe they feel bad about their looks and genuinely think, "wow, she always looks so nice, I want to tell her!"

I have a friend who always gushes about how good I look. Then it came out that she is super worried about her wrinkles and I just never seem to have any. Well she is ten years older than me and she has beautiful skin, but no one ever tells her. After this incident I just always say thank you when I get "you look great!".
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Old 07-07-2014, 11:39 AM   #24
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@pinkhippie: forgive me if I'm wrong. But are you sure that these behaviors you're adopting are IE and not a form of restriction?

I only ask because those behaviors are what I did when I was restricting severely. Are you sure you're not on the full/hungry diet and not IE?
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Old 07-07-2014, 11:54 AM   #25
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@pinkhippie: forgive me if I'm wrong. But are you sure that these behaviors you're adopting are IE and not a form of restriction?

I only ask because those behaviors are what I did when I was restricting severely. Are you sure you're not on the full/hungry diet and not IE?
I don't think so? Are you talking about bringing a snack to eat when you are hungry? I got that idea from Overcoming Overeating. ( the food bag they recommend) Lately I always have a little baggie of trail mix in my purse and an apple because I LOVE those foods and they satisfy my hunger just right in case I am out and get hungry at the same time. I also don't like to buy food I wont eat later because we are on a budget and I feel bad wasting money. It seems like different levels of hunger for me equal wanting different things to satisfy it. I don't like to be super hungry in a grocery store because what I buy to eat won't really match my usual levels of hunger ( I don't usually get super hungry at home) and so I won't eat it. If that makes sense at all.

eta: I actually didn't allow myself to have trail mix for YEARS because its so high in calories but now I eat it all the time when Im hungry. So, I don't feel like I am restricting anything. But outside observers can see things we can't sometimes, so I will try to notice. Thank you for your observation.
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Old 07-07-2014, 12:23 PM   #26
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No. I'm talking about not caring about food when you go out. Going so far as to spit out food instead of swallowing the one bite. Those are what sent out the alarm bells and red flags in my mind.

I didn't care because I knew I wasn't going to eat it. I would pick at meals, pretend to be "full". I would split things because I knew my husband would eat more than me if I deliberately ate slow enough. I skipped appetizers because of the calories.

I'm just wondering if you're not subconsciously restricting is all
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Old 07-07-2014, 12:27 PM   #27
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No. I'm talking about not caring about food when you go out. Going so far as to spit out food instead of swallowing the one bite. Those are what sent out the alarm bells and red flags in my mind.

I didn't care because I knew I wasn't going to eat it. I would pick at meals, pretend to be "full". I would split things because I knew my husband would eat more than me if I deliberately ate slow enough. I skipped appetizers because of the calories.

I'm just wondering if you're not subconsciously restricting is all
OH! OK, That wasn't me. I think that was Wannabe? I had quoted her post in my reply so I bet that is where the confusion happened.
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Old 07-07-2014, 12:32 PM   #28
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My mistake!! But still, those behaviors are familiar. And they worry me quite a bit, as it does her husband.
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Old 07-07-2014, 02:09 PM   #29
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Good stuff all! I've been gone for a few days and there is a lot of stuff going on in this thread now so I don't know where to start. I went to visit my family over the weekend. Visiting them is a high stress situation for me and when I got back to my place this weekend I was in serious need of decompression. I felt lost, overwhelmed, alone, depressed, etc. It's so hard for me to see my own success when I'm wallowing in the bad stuff.

This morning I was returning the rental car that I had used to visit my parents (six hour drive one way!). I thought for a moment how clean it was- usually there are crumbs and little pieces of lettuce from eating in the car. I realized I hadn't eaten in the car during the whole four days that I had it. Usually I would have stopped and binged on fast food at *least* a few times. I realized I hadn't eaten fast food at all during the trip.

That made me think about the other things that were different. I remember the night when I arrived I was starving- I hadn't wanted to spoil my appetite by eating a snack because I knew my parents would have dinner on the table right after I got there. My mother is an extremely slow eater but she waited about 10 minutes after she was done for me to finish before she left the table. I don't think I've ever eaten slower than my mom before.

At breakfast on Saturday my dad made pancakes and bacon. My sister had some of her male friends over to the house. Normally I would have eaten very little around them (it's hard for me to eat around men- daddy issues for sure) and then binged on fast food in secret later. I decided I was really hungry and got seconds on pancakes. Then several hours later when everyone ate lunch I wasn't hungry- I took a nap instead.

Was I perfect with IE this weekend? No! There were a few meals where I ate too quickly and got a stomach ache. I had some negative self talk and bullied myself a little on the way home. I didn't take care of myself during some of the time. But it was better than it ever has been. I didn't use the trip as an excuse to have an all out food binge free for all.
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Old 07-07-2014, 02:59 PM   #30
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Holy moly Locke!!!!!! That weekend sounds great!!! So proud of you!!! Yay!!!
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