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Wannabeskinny 06-03-2014 07:56 AM

Intuitive Eating: June 2014
 
Happy new month ladies (and gents, always welcome of course). It's the start of summer in the northern hemisphere and for many of us this is the time of year that we all dread. Shorts, day dresses, short sleeves, and gasp! bathing suits. Come January 1st women collectively look in the months ahead as a time to buckle down and prepare their bodies for the inevitable shedding of clothes and start joining gyms by the herds, and swearing off all their favorite foods while scolding themselves for over-enjoying the delicious holidays (and yet every year that doesn't prevent us from looking forward to the holidays, go figure wink wink).

So here it, is it's now summer and we have to make peace with our bodies at a very scary time of year. At the time of year we feel most insecure with our bodies. I have a trip planned to visit my family in europe, and I have lots of fears about being on the beach and comparing to my skinny cousins and friends. But I'm also looking forward to enjoying my newfound self confidence about my body, I have been working diligently every day in the mirror appreciating my own beauty and feeling more comfortable in my own skin. It's paying off and I'm having fun looking in the mirror. So here's to a happy summer and let's take note of these wise words from Geneen Roth:

"We often forget that our lives are made up of moments and of feelings about moments. As emotional eaters, we spend our lives forsaking all the moments of satisfaction for a future moment when we will be thin and the deprivation will have paid off. And if and when that moment does come, we are so worried about gaining weight that we focus our attention once more on the future and do not take pleasure in the present.

Most of us miss our own lives. Most of us spend our time preparing for a moment that never comes, while the years slip by, unnoticed, unused.

The means to an end cannot be separated from the end. If you attempt to get thin by reining yourself in, judging yourself, not believing in yourself, you will end up a deprived, self-condemning and frightened human being. And maybe you will have a thin body. For a while.

Breaking free from emotional eating is also breaking free from preoccupation with the future. It asks, it demands that you be aware of what you are doing now. It forces you to examine, by the very questions it asks, the ways in which you rush through your meals–and your days–in perpetual pursuit of moments that may never arrive. It brings up the issues of pleasure and satisfaction and asks that you rediscover their meaning in your life."

Wannabeskinny 06-03-2014 10:24 AM

Restraint versus Restriction

For those of you who are still struggling to legalize food this may be a triggering post so maybe skip it for now.

Looking back in the last few weeks I've seen wonderful changes in how I enjoy food in small portions, how enjoyable I can find foods that I didn't consider before because I was stuck on my emotional go-to comfort foods, getting excited about my growing hunger and enjoying the satisfaction of a sated tummy. It's like a switch has been flipped and I can finally feel again. I've loosened that vice-like grip of guilt and scrutiny over what I eat and replaced it with a curiosity about what makes me eat. I've learned a great deal and still have more to learn.

So in the name of curiosity I look back and think about my eating experiences and find that sometimes I still eat for reasons other than hunger. Sometimes those reasons are obvious and sometimes they are confusing. In particular it's baffling when I see myself eating while being completely aware that I don't want to eat. It's very strange and just about the only thing that's bringing on feelings of guilt. I'm far enough along in IE to feel dumb for eating when I don't want to. I want to start exercising a little more restraint. I don't know how I'm going to do that but I'm putting it here as my goal for this month. Does anyone have any thoughts as to what the difference is between restraint and restriction?

Pinkhippie 06-03-2014 11:56 AM

I love the quote from Geneen Roth. That is so cool that you have family in Europe and that you can go visit them. That sounds fun. I don't know if I have any beach or swimsuits in my future. I am definitely feeling better this year than I was last year because I have been exercising and I always feel more comfortable in my own skin when I do.

I don't know the difference between restraint and restriction, that is something I am still trying to figure out.

I think I am on hiatus from my in depth emotional examination of issues and my emotional eating. One can only do so much of that at a time! :) Right now I have just been working on learning to eat before Im ravenous and getting tuned in to the more subtle signals of hunger and satisfaction. It's easier to stop when Im not starving when I eat, but its harder to feel that signal of satisfaction too.

Locke 06-03-2014 12:48 PM

I don't usually eat when I'm not hungry anymore. My problem is that when I am truly hungry I eat too quickly and get too full. I feel cravings for foods sometimes, or have the urge to eat but it's so disconnected from my hunger that I just dismiss it. The key for me was to understand *why* I was wanting to eat when I wasn't hungry. For me the emotional eating was the last piece of the puzzle. After I figured out that it actually is better to take care of my needs instead of placating myself with food it just sort of all fell into place. I eat now to give my body the nutrition it needs while also honoring my tastes and preferences. My cravings are infrequent and I just brush them off. If I see a box of donuts in the kitchen at work I think about eating one and think "yuck, that will make me feel gross". Food is just... food, I guess. I don't know I just don't feel the pull of it anymore. It wasn't that I consciously restricted eating it's just that I started identifying the things in my life that I was using eating to cope with- being alone (I'm going out more often now), finances (working on a plan to get out of debt), too many activities (cut back on some responsibilities that weren't necessary), and self esteem (worked on building positive self image). If those things aren't bothering me as much I don't need to eat. I also cut out caffeine, alcohol, and any other substances that aren't good for me. I sleep a lot- like 8-9 hours a night. I also rest a lot. Sometimes I come home from work and just sit in the dark and rest before bed. I figured out these things through experimenting to see how I feel. I realize they aren't practical for everybody, especially since you have a family. But that's how I hacked it to where I am. I'm not perfect and I have a long way to go but I'm in a better place now.

Wannabeskinny 06-03-2014 03:38 PM

I had a fantastic breakfast today. A slice of toasted english muffin, buttered and topped with a slice of ham and one sunny side egg with a sprinkle of chives. On the side was sauteed mushrooms with a drop of truffle oil. And the other slice of the english muffin, I spread on butter after it cooled so that you can see the butter instead of melting into the bread. Drizzled with a touch of honey and sea salt.

Locke 06-03-2014 04:25 PM

That sounds amazing :)

Locke 06-04-2014 12:52 AM

Upon reflection tonight it has become clear to me that eating healthy has gone from an intention to an obsession. I have so much anxiety about it. *sigh* I get so caught up in the idea that the western diet is harmful and I go overboard trying to be healthy. I knew this might be a problem when I got the urge to eat healthier. It stems from the idea that I've harmed my health by becoming obese, and if only I eliminate x, y, and z I can reverse the damage and improve my quality of life. I forget that even though I eat bread sometimes my diet isn't horrible. The worst part is the obsessive thoughts about omega 3's, transfats, saturated fat, etc. I wish I could just clean out my brain. So anyway I'm resetting and I'm going to challenge myself by eating whatever I want tomorrow morning. IE is like one step forward two steps back for me.

CountryLiving 06-04-2014 07:57 AM

Locke... IE being one step forward and two steps back is so true for me as well. It's so hard to dismiss all the diet dos and fonts that have been shoved at us all these years.

I have a hard time eating healthy and not having the diet mentality kick in. I'm working on it though. Last night for dinner I had salmon, long rice and green beans because that is what sounded good. We then went to DQ later on and I enjoyed some ice cream because I wasn't full from dinner.

You all know how I struggle with the LC mentality. I like LC because I always have so much energy. When I eat whatever I always feel like I need a nap after lunch. Maybe I need to try and eat a LC lunch just to honor my health and not for WL but because it makes me feel good. It's such a fine line to walk on!

Wannabeskinny 06-04-2014 08:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CountryLiving (Post 5016895)
You all know how I struggle with the LC mentality. I like LC because I always have so much energy. When I eat whatever I always feel like I need a nap after lunch. Maybe I need to try and eat a LC lunch just to honor my health and not for WL but because it makes me feel good. It's such a fine line to walk on!

It's not a fine line, don't get caught up with that. This is hard for me too and we have to help each other out. Always choose what you want to eat, let your body dictate what it wants, not your mind. Don't start experimenting with LC on an intellectual level. I promise you, there will come a time when you will look around to decide what you want for lunch, you will eat lunch based on what your body craved and afterwards you will realize that there was not a single starch in your meal. This has been happening to me all the time, and I credit that with giving up complete control of making that choice. It's hard to believe and I still don't believe it myself. But if you struggle with the LC mentality then, you can't feed into it, not even a little bit. Stay away from that kool-aid. I hope this doesn't come across as aggressive, but LC is my achilles heel too. You can be rid of it.

Wannabeskinny 06-04-2014 08:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pinkhippie (Post 5016301)

I don't know the difference between restraint and restriction, that is something I am still trying to figure out.

I retract my question about restraint. I saw my NT and asked her about restraint and she seemed horrified by the mention of it. She looked at me as someone who was about to jump off a ledge lol, and very calmly explained that at this point this is absolutely the worst thing I can do more or less. It just so happened that on my way home I happened to come up on the chapter about "restrained eaters" in the IE book, I had a good laugh about it. Restraint it seems is not a good word.

Locke 06-04-2014 09:21 AM

Yep restraint is definitely what I've fallen in to. Luckily today is a new day so I will start making food choices based on what I want rather than what's good for me.

Wannabeskinny 06-04-2014 09:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Locke (Post 5016968)
Yep restraint is definitely what I've fallen in to. Luckily today is a new day so I will start making food choices based on what I want rather than what's good for me.

Do you think that you're still struggling with legalizing food? I think you give too much power to "healthy foods" and by doing so continuing to villainize bad foods. I know you want your body to feel good, but your body plays servant to your mind. Feed your brain, take care of its needs, man the control center and the body will follow suit.

Pinkhippie 06-04-2014 11:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Locke (Post 5016793)
Upon reflection tonight it has become clear to me that eating healthy has gone from an intention to an obsession. I have so much anxiety about it. *sigh* I get so caught up in the idea that the western diet is harmful and I go overboard trying to be healthy. I knew this might be a problem when I got the urge to eat healthier. It stems from the idea that I've harmed my health by becoming obese, and if only I eliminate x, y, and z I can reverse the damage and improve my quality of life. I forget that even though I eat bread sometimes my diet isn't horrible. The worst part is the obsessive thoughts about omega 3's, transfats, saturated fat, etc. I wish I could just clean out my brain. So anyway I'm resetting and I'm going to challenge myself by eating whatever I want tomorrow morning. IE is like one step forward two steps back for me.

I know Locke, I have the same issue. I had like 3 pieces of whole grain bread over the course of the day and I was horrified by myself. The thing is, listening to MY body, I think I do pretty well on whole grains. I feel satisfied and my digestion seems better. But, I still feel like Im doing something wrong to eat "too much" bread. Oh and see that sentence above? " I was horrified by myself". You know, for having 3 slices of bread. I typed that out in a quick stream of thought but seriously that is TERRIBLE. Sigh... Yep it is definitely 1 step forward two steps back. I guess it takes a long time to eliminate the diet chatter AND to stop making our food choices reflections of who we are.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wannabeskinny (Post 5016910)
I retract my question about restraint. I saw my NT and asked her about restraint and she seemed horrified by the mention of it. She looked at me as someone who was about to jump off a ledge lol, and very calmly explained that at this point this is absolutely the worst thing I can do more or less. It just so happened that on my way home I happened to come up on the chapter about "restrained eaters" in the IE book, I had a good laugh about it. Restraint it seems is not a good word.


lol are you talking about the Evelyn Trioble IE book? I borrowed it from the library but the nutrition chapter pushed so many buttons for me I never bought it. Do you find it to be a valuable resource?

Locke 06-04-2014 11:55 AM

Wannabe,

I was doing really well for a while with legalizing foods. Then I started wanting fresh vegetables, fruit, and meat. That would have been fine in and of itself but it spiraled into orthorexic type restricting behavior very quickly. I found myself tossing out food (a warning sign), avoiding whole categories of food (a warning sign), frequenting forums that discuss optimal diets (a warning sign), having fears about the health effects of food (a warning sign), and obsessing over planning meals for optimal nutrition (a warning sign). Even with all those things I still convinced myself I was just eating to provide my body the nutrition it needs until last night when I had a total panic attack about what to eat- that's what finally made me admit to myself that this had gotten out of control. And it doesn't help that my weight has dropped while doing it, either.

I feel like I have this meta-problem that I don't know when enough is enough. I always have to do extreme- extreme overeating, extreme undereating, extremely unhealthy food, extremely healthy food. I don't know when to stop. Other people tend to find the middle way between these things but I can't. I'm either teetotalling or binge drinking (both as a metaphor and not). So I'm trying to figure out how to eat that honors my needs, tastes, etc. I'm of European descent- bread is my birthright, and it is the staff of life for many cultures around the world. I love bread and I didn't get fat eating bread. I got fat bingeing on all sorts of things because it made me not feel feelings. It's not fair to my body to not eat bread, which is a huge part of our eating culture.

Anyway, before this gets too long I find myself not knowing what to eat anymore. I feel so fricking lost. Eating has become an act of self expression and I can't handle it.

Locke 06-04-2014 12:41 PM

I found this story written by the man who coined the term Orthorexia to be enlightening. He unknowingly went on an IE journey. http://www.beyondveg.com/bratman-s/h...unkie-1a.shtml


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