Thanks Wannabe. Yes I have been worried, sad, mad, the whole gamut of emotions. When it first happened I could barely function. Yes the authorities have been involved from the beginning. We live in different states so it makes it hard. She has mental issues like I have mentioned and a bunch of stuff going on so its a little different than a completely sane person disappearing for no reason. But, it was shocking to me, we used to communicate at least a few times a week via text. She went missing from her home, ended up in a psychiatric facility and then she went missing from there one day. Anyway, I didn't want to dampen your onderland victory with my sad story. I had just noticed that my increased sadness at the end of the day seemed to correspond with me eating less often. And really that is a good thing. Eating food when my body doesn't need it is not going to bring my mom back. It just feels like the sadness is an undending well, that no matter how often I feel it, it won't go away or get better. Anyway, way to be maudlin on a monday morning. Sorry about that.
Last edited by Pinkhippie; 06-09-2014 at 10:39 AM.
@Wannabe- Congratulations! My weight loss is pretty slow, too, but intensely satisfying because it happens while I am satisfying myself. I tend to get wooshes- a week or two of nothing followed by a sudden drop.
@Hippy- Sorry to hear about your mom. I had a relative go missing once for about a month and I cried myself to sleep every night during that time. Take care of yourself. Don't worry about talking about sadness- that's what we're here for!
I'm chugging along with IE. Nothing much to report. I've been satisfying my hunger and I'm still a little bit skeptical about losing weight on IE. I realize that I shouldn't have weight loss as my goal but- gah my joints hurt! If I wasn't in pain and worried about health issues so that weight loss is just a vanity issue I probably wouldn't focus as much on weight. It's hard to ignore that 356 pound gorilla in the room and to focus on demand feeding. /sigh
Thank you Locke. I really appreciate the support. I understand about crying yourself to sleep every night. It's definitely a tough thing to go through. I am definitely trying to take care of myself. That is what IE is all about.
I think you can absolutely lose weight while being an intuitive eater. I have lost all my weight so far doing IE but it took over a year. I could get it down with calorie counting but I was miserable and it would last for like a day and then my weight would shoot right back up. Now my weight is much less than it was with CC and I feel really good about where I am with my relationship with food and my body acceptance. But, It takes time and its a constant evolving process as you know. And of course its important to not make weight loss the main focus, but I know we all know this already, and I can imagine it would be even more challenging with a physical pain issue. I think you just keep on doing what you are doing. It sounds like you are really making progress in your thinking and your relationship with food and your body.
The thing I have been noticing for myself is being a stay at home mom has given me a lot of challenges to IE. There are so many food cues all around me all the time with feeding the kids, and the kids snacking, and stress, and just being lonely with no adults to talk to. When I was working, I was just busy and didn't think much about food except at mealtimes. Stress at work I usually just vented to a co worker, problem solved. I haven't worked outside the home in about 5 years and I also haven't been at the weight I was before I worked outside the home either. But, its good to be more aware of these challenges. I feel like i am raising my awareness every day.
Last edited by Pinkhippie; 06-09-2014 at 01:44 PM.
I have noticed that one of my challenges is not overeating at dinner. I realized tonight its because I have a deep unconscious rule/belief that eating after dinner is BAD. I have spent many dieting years white knuckling through the evening so I always make sure to fill myself up so I won't be too hungry. Not consciously. I need to work to let go of the belief that eating after dinner is bad and to let myself know that I will eat anytime Im hungry, even if its after dinner. I'm glad I realized that but Im annoyed with myself that it took this long to realize. The unconscious food beliefs are really strong. I also think that at least right now, I seem to be more of a grazer, which is hard to do because it amplifies feelings of guilt like " I shouldn't be eating this." or "I can't eat, I just ate an hour and a half ago." What I have tried to do today is ignore how many times I am eating and just focus on "am I hungry?, is it stomach hunger?" And not worry about the rest.
I just found this thread. IE seems to be the route I've been going the last few weeks, though I didn't really know it. I wasn't seeing any results with calorie counting and I decided to just watch portion sizing and eat when I'm hungry and healthy when I can. I've started eating more veggies which I think has been helpful.
Just some back story on me. I'm 185.5 right now. I was 152 pre pregnancy. March 21st 2014 I gave birth to a stillborn baby girl. She is beautiful, but of course not with us. It's bad enough to feel bad about your body when you've gained weight, but to have gained weight and gone through all the hardships of pregnancy and not have baby with me today is really tough. :/
I'm hoping intuitive eating is going to be my way back to my former weight. Hope to share my journey along the way.
For breakfast I had coffee with cream and sugar and one piece of english muffin toasting bread plain. For lunch I had a Michelina's spaghetti meal, a roll, some potato salad, a mini bluberry muffin, and a mini cinnamon roll. I had a snack of a few wheat thins and some cheese slices. Dinner was two small chicken tenderloins on a tortilla with lettuce and tomato and a serving of bugles. I also had one can of coke zero.
Fleur- Welcome! I'm sorry for your loss. IE has really helped me have a better relationship with food. I recommend reading the book "Overcoming Overeating" as a great introduction to IE.
Hippy- I struggle with that too. Back when I would count calories I would eat very lightly at breakfast and lunch so that I didn't have to go to bed hungry. I overdo it at dinner, too, especially since it is when I usually crave heavier foods like meat and potatoes.
I just found this thread. IE seems to be the route I've been going the last few weeks, though I didn't really know it. I wasn't seeing any results with calorie counting and I decided to just watch portion sizing and eat when I'm hungry and healthy when I can. I've started eating more veggies which I think has been helpful.
Just some back story on me. I'm 185.5 right now. I was 152 pre pregnancy. March 21st 2014 I gave birth to a stillborn baby girl. She is beautiful, but of course not with us. It's bad enough to feel bad about your body when you've gained weight, but to have gained weight and gone through all the hardships of pregnancy and not have baby with me today is really tough. :/
I'm hoping intuitive eating is going to be my way back to my former weight. Hope to share my journey along the way.
For breakfast I had coffee with cream and sugar and one piece of english muffin toasting bread plain. For lunch I had a Michelina's spaghetti meal, a roll, some potato salad, a mini bluberry muffin, and a mini cinnamon roll. I had a snack of a few wheat thins and some cheese slices. Dinner was two small chicken tenderloins on a tortilla with lettuce and tomato and a serving of bugles. I also had one can of coke zero.
Welcome Fleur and I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. What a devastating ordeal I can't even imagine the pain of that. I'm not sure what your goals are but I have found that IE is a very therapeutic process, not as a weightloss method but as a way to deal with the issues of our lives in a true and authentic way without turning to food. One of the most important principles of IE is to be compassionate towards yourself, and if eating is what you need to do then eat you must. Take all the time you need to follow the steps of IE and be very mindful of your needs, be very gentle to yourself. I hope that you seek out some kind of help or counseling to help get you through your grief.
I agree with Wannabe, IE is all about being compassionate towards yourself. I also highly recommend Overcoming Overeating. I am re reading it for the 4th time and it is still really helping me.
Locke: Yes I always did the exact same thing with my calories too.
So, like I mentioned last night I ate too much at dinner and then I wanted some ice cream. Somewhere in the back of my head I had been wanting ice cream for a while (not like a burning craving but like a oh yeah I want that... but not right now) but telling myself it was too caloric and that I should have something else. I mean seriously, when will I learn?
So I had a big bowl of ice cream even though I wasn't hungry and had actually overeaten at dinner. As I ate though I was gentle with myself. I recognized that I had made myself feel deprivation and scarcity by not allowing myself to have it when I wanted it. i felt no guilt and was happy that I was taking care of my needs in that I was eating ice cream when I wanted it. I also later recognized that I was still feeling really sad and indulging in ice cream for the moment did make me feel better. Later that night though, blergh. My stomach definitely hurt. I hope I can remember that sequence of events in the future so that next time I want ice cream, I will just have some when I want it, not try to put it off for days.
A paragraph that really jumped out at me when I was reading Overcoming Overeating, that somehow I had not noticed before says:
" We do not think you should stop eating because of mouth hunger. We have something different in mind. Our goal is to help you eliminate the experience of mouth hunger entirely, that is, to stop turning to food unless your'e hungry. The difference between controlling mouth hunger and eliminating mouth hunger is critical. It is the difference between eating compulsively and eating normally, between controlling your eating and curing it.
We do not want you to wrench yourself away from the refrigerator door. We want you to eat from mouth hunger for as long as you feel mouth hunger. We simply want you to look forward to the day that you will no longer experience it."
I think sometimes I don't eat from mouth hunger because I genuinely don't want to. But lately, with the extra burst of sad emotions, I have been trying to control it, not eating even though I really really want to. And I rubber banded last night into a big bowl of ice cream. So, I am glad I noticed this paragraph, it really makes sense for me and is a good reminder.
Last edited by Pinkhippie; 06-11-2014 at 11:15 AM.
Hello all.... I'm also new to IE. I started in May and it has been a roller coaster so far. I had been a dieter since I was 12 years old and even dabbled in anorexia for bit then but settled on bulimia for most of my life. Three years ago I hit rock bottom with the binge/purge cycle and haven't done it since. This May is when I hit rock bottom with dieting. I just can't do it anymore. I hate the way I feel about myself when dieting and I hate being obsessed with food. I just can't live like this anymore.
I have lost 60lbs from my heaviest and want to believe that my body somehow will find it's true size and healthy weight, but I'm having a hard time accepting that this is not a weight loss program and the possibility that it may want those 60lbs back.
I'm also really working on my hunger, hunger cues and fullness cues. It is definitely a work in progress for someone who hasn't known hunger for a very long time. One thing that has helped though is that two weeks before I began IE, I ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. It got to a point where I'd look at food, completely not hungry but with license to eat it and would just got bleh. I can't. That's when I knew it was time to start IE.
I enjoy reading everyone's posts but I'm wondering if we could all talk more about what you feel physically when you are hungry3-4 and at a 6. I'm just not sure what "food" feels like in my stomach anymore and notice that I'm getting to a 7 more often than not.
@Jen: Welcome! I am recovering from bulimia, too. I find that when I am slightly hungry I feel like I could eat but I only want something small- a yogurt, some toast, etc. My body feels lighter and food comes readily to mind. I don't have the physical symptoms of full hunger- the gnawing feeling in my stomach, irritability, headache, and low energy but I'm not satisfied, either. As for satisfied but not full I simply feel that I'm no longer hungry. There are no physical symptoms or mental symptoms of hunger but I feel that I will be hungry in a few hours if I don't eat any more food.
Welcome Jensassy. I am also a former bulimic. Ive been recovered for about 15 years or so.
The book overcoming overeating helped me hugely in my recovery.
When I start to get hungry, food starts to look good to me. When I get hungrier, I start to have an idea of what I want. When Im really getting hungry (probably a 1 ) I start getting irritable, then light headed and finally shaky and irritable. (that's a 0) That is past time to eat for me. My stomach feels very empty and sometimes it will feel like its gnawing itself.
When I eat I start to be able to feel food in my stomach and that is when I stop. (to me that is a 6, as a 5 is supposed to not feel food in your stomach at all) I don't like to feel overly full and stuffed. The best way I learned my hunger signals was just to let myself get truly good and hungry and then eat, paying attention to how I felt as I did. The more often I did that, the sooner I could feel that I had food in my stomach and I got a better sense of my hunger. When Im satisfied, the food stops tasting as good and I lose interest in it. Somehow the idea of eating another bite is not appealing.
So after a week of no vegetables today I went on the weekly grocery trip and bought huge amounts of vegetables. I made myself a chicken fajita that was BURSTING with vegetables and it was soooooo goood. I really do like vegetables, I just had to go through that non veggie phase I guess. I still don't feel ready to dive into salads though. I abused them too much in my dieting unconscious dieting days.
Last edited by Pinkhippie; 06-11-2014 at 07:59 PM.
" We do not think you should stop eating because of mouth hunger. We have something different in mind. Our goal is to help you eliminate the experience of mouth hunger entirely, that is, to stop turning to food unless your'e hungry. The difference between controlling mouth hunger and eliminating mouth hunger is critical. It is the difference between eating compulsively and eating normally, between controlling your eating and curing it.
We do not want you to wrench yourself away from the refrigerator door. We want you to eat from mouth hunger for as long as you feel mouth hunger. We simply want you to look forward to the day that you will no longer experience it."
There is room for interpretation here. I don't ever intend to stop eating from mouth hunger. That will always hold a place in my life, as it does for a lot of people. Before I started IE I was always eating from mouth hunger, and not really tasting or enjoying anything. Food had lost meaning. I'm mostly eating out of hunger now, not too much mouth hunger anymore but it's still there. But the ONLY reason that it's possible for me to not eat from mouth hunger anymore is because I have finally internalized the permission to eat from mouth hunger. I can have it any time I want, it's my safety net just like the guy who strings along the girl he never intends to really date - that's my mouth hunger. I'll always go back to it when I need it.
Hello all.... I'm also new to IE. I started in May and it has been a roller coaster so far. I had been a dieter since I was 12 years old and even dabbled in anorexia for bit then but settled on bulimia for most of my life. Three years ago I hit rock bottom with the binge/purge cycle and haven't done it since. This May is when I hit rock bottom with dieting. I just can't do it anymore. I hate the way I feel about myself when dieting and I hate being obsessed with food. I just can't live like this anymore.
I have lost 60lbs from my heaviest and want to believe that my body somehow will find it's true size and healthy weight, but I'm having a hard time accepting that this is not a weight loss program and the possibility that it may want those 60lbs back.
I'm also really working on my hunger, hunger cues and fullness cues. It is definitely a work in progress for someone who hasn't known hunger for a very long time. One thing that has helped though is that two weeks before I began IE, I ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. It got to a point where I'd look at food, completely not hungry but with license to eat it and would just got bleh. I can't. That's when I knew it was time to start IE.
I enjoy reading everyone's posts but I'm wondering if we could all talk more about what you feel physically when you are hungry3-4 and at a 6. I'm just not sure what "food" feels like in my stomach anymore and notice that I'm getting to a 7 more often than not.
Thanks much!
Welcome jensassy, starting IE can be a little scary so thanks for reaching out for support. Most of us here have a history of disordered eating so you are not alone in that.
Are you using the scale from the Intuitive Eating book? I would say that the middle of the scale is the most confusing 3-6 especially. Don't start there.
I started on the extremes. I was used to always eating all the time out of boredom, loneliness, etc. I had no clue what physical hunger felt like. I needed to get myself to a 1 several times so that my brain could register that physical feeling. It's about experimenting. Get to a 1 and sit there for a while being mindful of that, take note of what you feel. Everyone experiences the physical sensations of hunger a little differently, you may start to feel weak or unfocused etc. Then eat mindfully and slowly enough to be able to process the feeling as you climb up the numbers to satiety. In the beginning I would take myself to a 7 (satisfaction) a lot. Then I'd fall and have to eat often.
Just experiment with taking yourself back and forth on the hunger/satiety scale. Be curious about it, don't make any judgments about getting too full. Go up to a 10 if you feel like it, just think "hmm, I wonder what made me eat past fullness." Be very flexible and curious about your hunger, don't get caught up with doing it right or wrong. Being mindful and aware is the most important thing. You're practicing and believe me it starts to feel very normal after a while.
Here's a tip. If you can't decide what to eat, don't eat. Wait until you're certain what you want.
Now I eat when I'm at a 2 and I eat until I'm at 8. Solid. I'd like to whittle that down to a 7 eventually but I'm ok with eating until fullness for now.
I have noticed that one of my challenges is not overeating at dinner. I realized tonight its because I have a deep unconscious rule/belief that eating after dinner is BAD. I have spent many dieting years white knuckling through the evening so I always make sure to fill myself up so I won't be too hungry. Not consciously. I need to work to let go of the belief that eating after dinner is bad and to let myself know that I will eat anytime Im hungry, even if its after dinner. I'm glad I realized that but Im annoyed with myself that it took this long to realize. The unconscious food beliefs are really strong. I also think that at least right now, I seem to be more of a grazer, which is hard to do because it amplifies feelings of guilt like " I shouldn't be eating this." or "I can't eat, I just ate an hour and a half ago." What I have tried to do today is ignore how many times I am eating and just focus on "am I hungry?, is it stomach hunger?" And not worry about the rest.
Hope everyone is doing well!
I have the same problem. I think it's because I have so much free time in the evening. I see it as a time for relaxing and enjoyment, which obviously includes food.
I've been practising IE over the last couple of weeks and I've noticed that my idea of a normal portion at dinner is usually double of what I actually want to eat. I always used to think that the recommended portion sizes for pasta/rice etc were always too small for my appetite but now that I am eating intuitively, it feels about right.
I think I often over eat in the evenings because of boredom and wanting enjoy myself even though I'm not actually hungry. I can get around this with a few techniques. 1) I brush and floss my teeth right after dinner. 2) I plan something non-food related for my evening time e.g. reading, bubble bath, going for a walk. 3) I've started drinking some night time herbal teas in the evenings. It's great to get you in the mood for sleep and is very refreshing.
Do you find that when you eat intuitively, that you eat more often? I'm finding that at lunch time, half my bagel/sandwich is enough....but then I'm hungry again 2-3 hours later. Do you think it matters if I save the left-over half for the later or if I eat until I'm really quite full and then wait 5 hours for dinner?
I think you just keep on doing what you are doing. It sounds like you are really making progress in your thinking and your relationship with food and your body.
