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Intuitive Eating: April 2014

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Old 04-01-2014, 03:23 PM   #1
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Default Intuitive Eating: April 2014

The April thread for Intuitive Eating, please join!

Another month on IE and I can't believe I'm still making progress. Looking at my weightloss I can see that I went up and down for a bit but overall I've got a 3lb loss in the past 2 months. Big whoop I know, but more importantly I'd like to share some significant changes that have taken place in the past 2 months since I've started intuitive eating.

- My binges have reduced significantly, like almost gone!
- My hunger/fullness cues are intact! They still need to be honed more but they are definitely there and doing their job.
- My anxiety around food is finally lessening
- I've saved a bunch of money from not binging
- I've lost 3lbs and know that they're not coming back
- I am becoming a normal eater, a part of society and no longer a victim of ED
- My self confidence is steadily increasing
- I am addressing my ED issues with a nutritional therapist
- I enjoy eating more than ever
- I eat foods I love without (much) guilt - still working on this one!
- I'm taking selfies, posting pictures of myself, and lookiing at pictures of myself without wincing. It might be over a year and a half since the last picture I allowed of myself.

I still have a long long way to go but I'm finally on the right path, one that feels natural. Any quantitative changes you've noticed in yourself or hope for?
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"Binging is a descent into a world where every restriction... is cut loose. At its core is a feeling of deprivation.. a feeling you can never get enough. Binges do not signify a lack of willpower or inability to care for yourself. On the contrary, binges are a urgent attempt to care for yourself when you feel uncared for. They are the voice of survival. Binges are the mark of the self that says, 'I am tired of feeling deprived, of being told I am wrong, that I am bad." - Geneen Roth

Last edited by Wannabeskinny : 04-02-2014 at 08:07 AM.
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Old 04-01-2014, 03:29 PM   #2
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How wonderful, Wannabe! I am so happy for you!

Me, I'm doing just fine working myself into a grey happy place. As I posted in the March thread I most certainly don't need any more clothes and I have a new insight into that whole cycle I've been going through. Right now I am seriously craving a good burger and I am going to take care of that urge shortly!

I just got an email just now from that Isabel Foxen Duke gal entitled This is What "restricting" really means. I thought it was pretty darn good.

Most of you know at this point that binge-eating is a reaction to “restriction” around food, and in it’s simplest form, the “answer” to binge-eating is “allowance” around food.

I want to get really clear on what these terms actually mean, because there seems to be some confusion...

Over and over again women tell me,“Isabel, I’m eating whatever I want and I just keep eating to the point of making myself sick and I feel awful.”

Well, eating whatever you want is very different from letting yourself eat whatever you want. If you’re eating foods that you once denied yourself physically, but feel horribly guilty and anxious about that choice, you’re still restricting...

Similarly, if you’re letting yourself eat “whatever you want,” but only in certain amounts before you completely freak out, say “**** it,” and end up in the fetal position, you’re also restricting...

you’re emotionally restricting (which can be easily defined as judging your choices around food), and that’s often just as triggering, or more so, than physical restriction.

Let me put this in another way...

To some women, “not restricting” means “I eat pasta and M&Ms.”

To me, “not restricting” means “I don’t feel guilty about eating pasta and M&Ms”

Do you see the distinction here? They’re very different things...

“Allowance” around food is a state of mind — it has very little to do with what you put in your mouth, but rather, how you feel about what you put in your mouth.

“Allowance” doesn’t necessarily mean you’re physically putting whatever you want in your mouth — it means you don’t feel guilty about what you put in your mouth.

#subtledistinction #clearthatup

xo Isabel

PS - if you're confused, this post about intuitive eating with medical restrictions may help clear things up for you.

PPS - I didn't get a chance to write last week because I was in Jamaica watching cliff divers. Check out my insta pics here. #sorryimnotsorry #hashtagsarefun

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Old 04-01-2014, 05:05 PM   #3
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Thank you for posting this, Cindy. I think a lot of the problem that we have trying to explain IE to others is the language barrier. We are using words that have different meanings for different people. Many people think IE means to eat whatever you want if you're hungry. People don't realize that it's not about what you are eating but about your psychological relationship with food and your eating mentality.

Radiojane responded to Wannabe's pleasure thread in what I considered an interesting way. She eats low carb and restricts calories but has cheats. For me I can't cheat when I'm restricting. It's all or nothing. If I am watching calories and I go over I will chastise myself. I become upset. "What's wrong with me?" "I'm bad. I don't deserve to eat. I should just die."... etc. etc. until I'm reduced to a quivering pile of crying and self hatred, if not outright self abuse. Then I think "well I've already cheated might as well just eat *all the things* then purge from shame and sickness.

Living with an ED is a constant state of consciousness about food, my body, and control. It's like I have voices chattering constantly "eat this, don't eat that, you're so fat and gross, that's going to give you diabetes, you can't have that, ugly, stupid, no control..." IE has given me the ability to not judge myself for what I eat and to accept my body as it is. I still have bad moments and bad days when I relapse back into former ways of thinking but these are becoming fewer and fewer. The voices are going away. I still think about food too often for my taste but I'm trying not to judge myself for that, either. Things are getting better day by day.
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Old 04-01-2014, 05:20 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Locke View Post
Thank you for posting this, Cindy. I think a lot of the problem that we have trying to explain IE to others is the language barrier. We are using words that have different meanings for different people.
This is so spot on.

For example, in another thread someone posted that they had eaten a large meal at Outback and came home and was hungry an hour later.

I didn't want to start anything, so I chose not to respond to this.

But whatever it was she experienced, it certainly wasn't hunger. No way could it have been hunger. Appetite, maybe - wanting to extend the pleasure she'd had from eating that meal?

I've had the feeling she was describing. It's a funny type of feeling in your stomach - probably just the digesting of food that may seem like hunger. I've always known this wasn't hunger, even though I do see how some people can mistake it for that. And I've never felt the need to eat more when I've had it.

The beauty of IE is learning to listen to your body and being able to once and for all learn the sometimes subtle nuances between hunger and appetite, as well as all the other signals we get having NOTHING to do with hunger that drive us to eat.

I wish it for everyone, but they have to be ready for it.
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to fill every available convolution of my brain, the fat went away with it."

- Rob Stevens, The Overfed Head


Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
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Old 04-01-2014, 05:39 PM   #5
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It is breaking my heart to read the introductions between the regainers and the young gals that are just starting and I want to tell them NO in a motherly way it is upsetting.
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Old 04-01-2014, 06:18 PM   #6
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SouthernMaven,

Yeah I don't like to pick fights, either, but my feeling personally is that most people could successfully use IE if they worked at it. People seem to just dismiss it on its face because they feel like they've tried it before- they think what they were doing when they weren't dieting was IE.

I've personally made a lot of changes to the way I eat that have helped me hack IE. I use small plates and I serve myself only a small portions. If I want more I have seconds. I eat very slowly and mindfully. If I have sweets I usually will have it with a meal and only a very small amount. I don't do these things to lose weight but to make it easier for me to stop when I'm full. IE has helped me overcome my disastrous mental relationship with food, but it's up to me to forge a healthy one through discipline and mindfulness.
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Old 04-01-2014, 07:07 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by Locke View Post
I don't do these things to lose weight but to make it easier for me to stop when I'm full. IE has helped me overcome my disastrous mental relationship with food, but it's up to me to forge a healthy one through discipline and mindfulness.
Yea that's how it is for me too. I'm not there yet but I'm getting there.

Having a relationship with food is like having a romantic relationship with a person. If I'm not capable of being of sound mind on my own then it doesn't matter if Mr. Right is in my life, the relationship will go bust. I have to fix the ME part of eating before I can tackle all the portion/balance/nutrition head on. I'm in no place right now to be restricting foods.
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"Binging is a descent into a world where every restriction... is cut loose. At its core is a feeling of deprivation.. a feeling you can never get enough. Binges do not signify a lack of willpower or inability to care for yourself. On the contrary, binges are a urgent attempt to care for yourself when you feel uncared for. They are the voice of survival. Binges are the mark of the self that says, 'I am tired of feeling deprived, of being told I am wrong, that I am bad." - Geneen Roth
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Old 04-01-2014, 10:23 PM   #8
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Btw, I'm loving the typo in this thread's title. "Intuitive Earing"- because we are listening to our bodies.
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Old 04-01-2014, 10:31 PM   #9
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I spoke about hunger in my last post. I'd like to share two recent experiences I had with hunger.

Yesterday morning I ate an English muffin around 9:00 am, as I had to be at work at 10. As I've mentioned ad nauseum, I generally don't eat anything for several hours after I wake up, but I also don't eat anything at work and wait until I get off at 4:00 pm so I needed to get something in me. And I was hungry when I ate it.

Around 1:30 pm I did feel a true gnawing hunger, but I was working and basically ignored it. I could have grabbed a truffle from our candy case but I didn't really want that. I wanted to wait until I got home to eat. After I got off I went to the major department store in the same shopping center to return some things. I then purchased other things - then and only then did I set out to return home. By this time the feelings of hunger had passed.

As I was getting ready to eat, I got up from the dining room to go back to the kitchen to get something. As I walked into the kitchen I got extremely light-headed, something I rarely experience. But I immediately recognized it for what it was - TRUE HUNGER. It was very transient - only a couple of seconds. But it was definitely a sign that I had not had enough to eat that day.

Another recent experience I had with TRUE HUNGER was when I had gone to visit family in Mississippi. I was already on the coast and had gotten up early on a Friday morning (about 6 am) to pick up my daughter at the airport in Gulfport, MS when she flew down to join me. Her plane came in at 8:30 am, we went to the local social security office for her to take care of FINALLY changing her name to her married one, and we left there at 9:30 am. We were then headed to my cousin's home about 10 miles away, and by that time I was really, REALLY hungry. That urgent kind of hunger that won't go away. But my brother was also meeting us there and he was coming from the opposite direction so I was trying to get there at the same time.

The hunger was SO urgent, however, that I briefly considered stopping at the gas station we passed to pick up something, ANYTHING, to keep it at bay. But I knew there was nothing there that I wanted to eat. So I didn't.

When we got to my cousin's house her husband asked if we wanted something to eat. He said his neighbor had given them fig preserves and he was going to fix toast for himself, did anyone else want some? Music to my ears! I said I'd love some, so he brings me two HUGE slabs of french bread that had been toasted with butter, and he put the fig preserves in front of me to spoon on as I wished. (We're sitting on their huge porch with the wind blowing off the gulf and I feel like I'm in heaven already, with or without food). I put some of those preserves on a piece of that bread and it was soooo good! Delicious in and of itself, but even more so because I was so hungry. And I could only eat one piece of bread, it was so big. Boy, that hit the spot - so delicious and at just the right time.

It's amazing to me how out of touch I've been with my hunger/fullness awareness. As I've stated before, hunger was so frightening for me, but it isn't any longer. I don't recommend getting so hungry you get faint, but being truly hungry also makes food taste so delicious!
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"As I cleared out the clutter of diet propaganda that had expanded
to fill every available convolution of my brain, the fat went away with it."

- Rob Stevens, The Overfed Head


Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
- Albert Einstein
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Old 04-01-2014, 10:33 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CindySunshine View Post
It is breaking my heart to read the introductions between the regainers and the young gals that are just starting and I want to tell them NO in a motherly way it is upsetting.
I've actually posted in the past about the extraordinary numbers of re-gainers we get in the introductions thread each and every day. Many days there will be as many as 3 or 4.

It's a sad pattern, but one indicative of the epic fail of diets. The overall statistics bear this out.
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"As I cleared out the clutter of diet propaganda that had expanded
to fill every available convolution of my brain, the fat went away with it."

- Rob Stevens, The Overfed Head


Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
- Albert Einstein
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Old 04-01-2014, 10:34 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by Locke View Post
Btw, I'm loving the typo in this thread's title. "Intuitive Earing"- because we are listening to our bodies.
Didn't even catch that, but it's so appropriate!
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"As I cleared out the clutter of diet propaganda that had expanded
to fill every available convolution of my brain, the fat went away with it."

- Rob Stevens, The Overfed Head


Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
- Albert Einstein
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Old 04-01-2014, 10:40 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wannabeskinny View Post
The April thread for Intuitive Eating, please join!

Another month on IE and I can't believe I'm still making progress. Looking at my weightloss I can see that I went up and down for a bit but overall I've got a 3lb loss in the past 2 months. Big whoop I know, but more importantly I'd like to share some significant changes that have taken place in the past 2 months since I've started intuitive eating.

- My binges have reduced significantly, like almost gone!
- My hunger/fullness cues are intact! They still need to be honed more but they are definitely there and doing their job.
- My anxiety around food is finally lessening
- I've saved a bunch of money from not binging
- I've lost 3lbs and know that they're not coming back
- I am becoming a normal eater, a part of society and no longer a victim of ED
- My self confidence is steadily increasing
- I am addressing my ED issues with a nutritional therapist
- I enjoy eating more than ever
- I eat foods I love without (much) guilt - still working on this one!
- I'm taking selfies, posting pictures of myself, and lookiing at pictures of myself without wincing. It might be over a year and a half since the last picture I allowed of myself.

I still have a long long way to go but I'm finally on the right path, one that feels natural. Any quantitative changes you've noticed in yourself or hope for?
I loved reading this, Wannabe! You have come so far in such a short period of time.

Having played around with IE for over a year (with one or two lapses into dieting) I think the biggest thing I've learned so far is to not fear hunger. I know I sound like a broken record when I write this but it's so true. When I think of how much time and energy I've wasted trying to stave off hunger, particularly when dieting, I get so sad thinking about it.

I've also noticed that I am indeed more comfortable in my own skin. I don't get all freaked out by looking at myself in the mirror. I really don't worry any more about my weight either. I do think I've lost a few pounds, but I'm not going to get on the scale to verify it. I feel lighter and my clothes are looser. That's all the feedback that I need.
__________________
"As I cleared out the clutter of diet propaganda that had expanded
to fill every available convolution of my brain, the fat went away with it."

- Rob Stevens, The Overfed Head


Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
- Albert Einstein
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Old 04-02-2014, 05:32 AM   #13
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Maven, loved your hunger stories. Especially that fig jam sitting with the gulf breeze. I absolutely agree that true hunger allows you a many fold increase in satisfaction. Now that is my husband's way of normal eating, he prefers eating once a day from a point of deep hunger and then he just attacks and relishes his food and overeats to discomfort. I just don't like to be that full! It works for him.

It's interesting because even if you let your voice of fact and reason talk, the food anthropologist as the IE book names it, you know you aren't eating many calories on days like that and your satisfaction and happiness factor are through the roof. SO wonderful.

I think that you have those binge cravings which are sudden and urgent I need potato chips NOW and lots of them til the bag is empty. But a food urge is slow and comes on over days with a gentle prodding. I've been having this for a week with a hamburger. A couple times I've been within aroma distance of the smell of burgers on the grill and yesterday I decided it was time to handle it. I picked out this restaurant that has that kind of food and ordered my burger. It came with a pile of lettuce tomato and onion and a mound of gorgeous fries. I took my first bite of that burger and it was that run down your cheeks juicy delicious and tasted as good as I dreamed it would. Boy did I enjoy it! I ate nearly all of it, too, left the soggy bun at the end. I had some of the fries but left 2/3 or them, but it was that burger I wanted. Heaven.

So then I got home and my neighbor was having some friends over for dinner and asked me to come over and have a drink. I told her I had already eaten but joined them. So she brings the appetizers and puts a plate down for me and tells me I have to try her grilled shrimp recipe. I ate one and it didn't even taste very good which I know was because I was full. I made a mental note that was it not one more bite. She then set a salad in front of me and I just repeated I was completely full and left it sit. I am so glad I didn't eat any more. It makes the memory of the burger even better.
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Old 04-02-2014, 08:16 AM   #14
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Fixed the type hehe.

I love the stories about food too. It's so important to relish these experiences, they teach us how to enjoy what we eat and it feels good to slap guilt right in the face for once. SouthernMaven, take it easy with those long stretches of not eating, it's great that you can hold off and not fear hunger but don't give hunger the chance to bite you back one day!

Learning how to enjoy food and not fear its power is the most surprising part of this whole IE thing. I've been binging for a long time and I thought that I was doing it because I got some perverse enjoyment out of it. But I don't think that's the case anymore, like I said my binges have reduced significantly but the times I have have been unpleasant. The guilt is not such a big deal anymore, I try not to let myself feel guilty about it, I'm more observant of a binge than anything else... and now I feel angry about it! How can I spend so much time/effort/money on something that is soooooo not pleasurable at all! Redo!
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"Binging is a descent into a world where every restriction... is cut loose. At its core is a feeling of deprivation.. a feeling you can never get enough. Binges do not signify a lack of willpower or inability to care for yourself. On the contrary, binges are a urgent attempt to care for yourself when you feel uncared for. They are the voice of survival. Binges are the mark of the self that says, 'I am tired of feeling deprived, of being told I am wrong, that I am bad." - Geneen Roth
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Old 04-02-2014, 09:07 AM   #15
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Originally Posted by Wannabeskinny View Post
Fixed the type hehe.
Aw, shucks!

Quote:
SouthernMaven, take it easy with those long stretches of not eating, it's great that you can hold off and not fear hunger but don't give hunger the chance to bite you back one day!
You're so right about that. I'm going to have to start bringing a little something for me to eat at work. Fortunately I can wait as long as I want to eat - I have no set time. We only take a 15-20 minute break (we can take more but generally don't) and there are two of us working so we just go whenever.

Cindy I did LOVE the hamburger story. Yumm! It's so very nice to really enjoy food again.

And guess what today is, y'all?

http://www.theepochtimes.com/n3/5958...nd-cool-facts/
__________________
"As I cleared out the clutter of diet propaganda that had expanded
to fill every available convolution of my brain, the fat went away with it."

- Rob Stevens, The Overfed Head


Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
- Albert Einstein
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