Wannabe- thank you so much for taking the time to share. Hearing what your nutritionist says is very helpful.
I just wanted to check in with you guys. I've been struggling a bit with some emotional issues. I've been feeling tired, irritable, sad, etc. on and off. I know that some of it's my long schedule, being burnt out from grad school, and lacking a social support network. I also do a bit too much navel gazing and worrying about it and it becomes cyclical. I also think I've been caught in the dieting mindset, too, just a bit more subtle. I've been trying to get really hungry for meals, sometimes intentionally not eating for long periods of time. I'm still a bit stuck on trying to eat how thin people eat instead of how my own body wants me to eat.
So for the next few weeks I'm really going to concentrate on eating nourishing meals until I'm full. I don't think I've been letting myself get full enough at each meal then I get ravenously hungry and feel guilty for needing to eat again. I'm also going to try Wannabe's technique for countering guilt. Instead of thinking "god why do I need to eat again?" I'm just going to eat. I'm also going to back off of alot of the junk food, not because I don't think I should eat it but seems to cause crashes in my blood sugar that are bad for my emotional health.
Anyway I'm off to my parents for the weekend. That in itself will be a trial for my sanity. I'm grateful to have you ladies around.
Locke, I wish we could go out for coffee... Do you get enough of a break in your school routine to fit in some other interest? Join a group for a book club, start an organic vegetable garden, take up knitting or photography? Taking pictures of birds sounds nice. It seems like something very different from your school might be a nice break. For me it helps to simply prepare three meals that are reasonably healthy and sound good to get in the groove. You can practice IE at them and it doesn't need to be perfect. I know for sure it's hard though when you are busy and stressed with work or school or whatever.
Wannabe very interesting comments from your nutrition specialist. It all is so common sense, that's what I like about the whole thing. I do know that if I overeat carbs especially stuff like bread, potato chips, crackers it takes me several days to detox. Sugar, too. But after I get past that they don't bother me in moderation with a healthy balanced meal. I am just not one for mashed cauliflower I would rather have mashed potatoes occasionally and roast the cauliflower!
Yes the best thing about cauliflower is its wonderful texture. I hate to mash it up but I do like a good cauliflower purée soup with Indian spices. Frankly though I'll take the potatoes over any of them hehe.
I was just thinking about how I'd like to have a bit more regularity with meals. I do have down time each week just not the normal amount I guess you'd say. Then again Americans tend to be so overscheduled maybe I'm just average. I'm trying to figure out a breakfast that works well for me. I like really filling breakfasts that aren't too carby- scrambled eggs and toast, for instance. Unfortunately I leave the house at 5:30am and eat breakfast at work, which makes it a little bit more difficult to get in a good sized breakfast that isn't full of carbs.
I'm thinking of making a breakfast casserole this weekend and bringing in slices of it to work- scrambled eggs, potatoes, sausage, cheese, peppers, onion, etc. That's quite filling and I can reheat it at work. Then something simple like roast chicken and vegetables for lunch and a light dinner. I've been living off the bagels and breakfast burritos from a deli down the street but it's getting too expensive and I find that carbs for breakfast for me is not a good deal.
I wanted to share a comment with you all from Reddit. This was directed a a young man with social anxiety but I think it applies to anyone who is trying to make a life change:
"Take care of yourself. Don't think of yourself as just 1 being. Think of yourself as a tiny bird that you need to muster strength for. Think of yourself as a fragile chicklet that needs to be nurtured and strengthened. Love yourself like somebody that you would want to meet and hang around with. And of course, remember to do it slowly. Very, ****ing slowly. Because if you race forward too fast, you're only going to hurt yourself faster.
And when that progress stops, it will hurt. Progress cannot continue on a straight path forever. It will meander. Some days it'll feel like you went back four steps. You'll start working out for a week, and you'll be doing well at school, and then suddenly a month goes by where you did nothing again. Where you ran back into your cave and feared the world, because you hated yourself. But remember, pitfalls are all just part of life. There is no failure. As long as you get back up again and try, things will never be over. So after a month or two months or half a year of hurting again, you'll get back up, because you'll get sick of being stuck, and you'll start moving forward again, and you'll start remembering all the lessons that you've taught yourself all over again, and then you'll progress once more, and then you'll fall, and then you'll hide, and then you'll get stuck, and then you'll start moving forward once more and everything will go on forever. But each time, it'll be a little be farther, a little bit easier, and you'll feel a little bit better. Cause that's how life goes.
The final piece of advice I have is this: Breath. Every time you do anything, any little thing, take a long breath and live in the now. Try to enjoy the moment of whatever you are doing. Try to enjoy the small and fine details of the process, instead of worrying about results and pride. People don't give a ****. Just make sure to take care of yourself. That is all that is asked of you.
Breath, enjoy, and love.
Thanks for sharing that Locke, it's a good reminder that progress doesn't always take you forward.
And along the lines of our recent discussions about French people here's an article I found today titled What France Can Teach The Rest Of The World About Living Well http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/0...99.html?ir=OWN
Hi Cindy, I used to run cross-country and track, but I got really tired of that level of exercise so now I have a much more moderate routine.
Monday - Thursday: I walk 2 to 3 miles a day
Friday: I take a yoga class
Saturday: I go hiking for about 6 to 7 miles.
So far that's been my "exercise" routine, but it's sustainable for me and it involves walking and yoga which are two things I really enjoy! I'm really trying to focus on enjoying the exercise itself rather than thinking of it as a "calorie burner".
She recommends that if you are a woman under the age of 25 who has spent time starving / restricting to eat at least 2500-3000 Calories a day in order to repair your metabolism. Now I'm not interested in counting calories again, but what do you all think about that suggestion? Do you think it may really take eating that amount for me to fully reverse the damage I did to my metabolism?
She recommends that if you are a woman under the age of 25 who has spent time starving / restricting to eat at least 2500-3000 Calories a day in order to repair your metabolism. Now I'm not interested in counting calories again, but what do you all think about that suggestion? Do you think it may really take eating that amount for me to fully reverse the damage I did to my metabolism?
I took a quick look around on this site and my instinct tells me to beware. After reading the author's biography it is unclear if she is a doctor or medical professional of any kind. The kind of advice that you are considering seems arbitrary to me, eat a certain amount of calories to repair your metabolism? Firstly, a broken metabolism is quite rare, I'm almost certain your metabolism is fine. I haven't thought to ask you before because my perception of you is that you struggle with a few pounds, excessive knowledge of nutritional info, guilt after eating, and a dysfunctional aspect of your relationship with your mother concerning food (not saying your relationship with your mom is dysfunctional in general, only the conversations you have about food).
One of the hardest steps of IE is legalizing food. I don't suggest you do this without at least having a reference to be reading along with it. It feels like falling off a cliff and it's hard to psych yourself up for it without a little support from friends and resources. You have to realize that you deserve to eat, you deserve to eat anything you want, and that it won't lead to self destruction. You're young and you already understand how destructive dieting can be. You're on the edge of doing this, but you haven't committed to it yet. I'm not pushing you to do so, only trying to share with you that it's not so bad once you go through that initial legalization of food. The site you posted tells you to quantify your food to fix some mechanical problem in your body. That's not IE! IE tells us there's nothing wrong with our body and just feed it freely so that IT can start to trust us again. I hope this makes sense, my coffee's a little weak this morning.
Last edited by Palestrina; 04-17-2014 at 06:37 AM.
Yes I agree with Wannabe. I think numbers are arbitrary but 1200 is probably too low. It's a different game for people dangerously underweight and anorexic and even the new Tribole book talks about them requiring a different kind of treatment to get over that life threatening situation. And I think it's important not to stuff food in to meet any kind of rule be it calories or salad fillers or numbers of vegetable servings. Learning to stop as you get to that comfortable fully satisfied but not overfull point is really the whole game (along with allowing yourself to be fully hungry so it makes sense). You aren't seriously underweight.
And your exercise is great just so you are doing something active and regular and enjoyable Yoga and walking are my two key exercises as well. I love Pilates and do a floor routine I can do at home and I have started a strength routine that I'm doing at home. Lunges, squats, push-ups, and step ups with weights on a stool go a long way to helping without taking much time. I knew that barbell set my sons got when they were in high school would come in handy someday. It seemed for years all I ever did was move it around to clean around it LOL.
I made a post in the Chicks in Control thread of an interview with Isabel Foxen Duke about bikini season diets. I love what she had to say and wish we could have heard more from her. But I was a little sad to hear a nutritionist talk. Her statements were so conflicting on me, is it just me or are some nutritionists really out of tune with what women go through?
One one hand she says "diets don't work" and then next she says "eat 6 meals a day" then she says "dieting will make you crash" and then says "we need to eat good food that nourishes the inside of our body." Technically I do not disagree with anyone who says eating seasonally, locally, fresh foods and lots of veggies. I struggle so much with this concept of nourishing my mind and nourishing my body.
I took a quick look around on this site and my instinct tells me to beware. After reading the author's biography it is unclear if she is a doctor or medical professional of any kind. The kind of advice that you are considering seems arbitrary to me, eat a certain amount of calories to repair your metabolism? Firstly, a broken metabolism is quite rare, I'm almost certain your metabolism is fine. I haven't thought to ask you before because my perception of you is that you struggle with a few pounds, excessive knowledge of nutritional info, guilt after eating, and a dysfunctional aspect of your relationship with your mother concerning food (not saying your relationship with your mom is dysfunctional in general, only the conversations you have about food).
One of the hardest steps of IE is legalizing food. I don't suggest you do this without at least having a reference to be reading along with it. It feels like falling off a cliff and it's hard to psych yourself up for it without a little support from friends and resources. You have to realize that you deserve to eat, you deserve to eat anything you want, and that it won't lead to self destruction. You're young and you already understand how destructive dieting can be. You're on the edge of doing this, but you haven't committed to it yet. I'm not pushing you to do so, only trying to share with you that it's not so bad once you go through that initial legalization of food. The site you posted tells you to quantify your food to fix some mechanical problem in your body. That's not IE! IE tells us there's nothing wrong with our body and just feed it freely so that IT can start to trust us again. I hope this makes sense, my coffee's a little weak this morning.
Yeah, the fact that she wasn't a medical professional did leave me a little wary. I've never really thought I had a metabolism problem, but I've always heard that dieting can really mess up your metabolism so I wasn't sure if mine will be slower now
that I dieted. I guess it all comes back to trusting my body to tell me the amounts and what to eat and it will take care of itself.
The legalizing process is a difficult one, but I have definitely been allowing myself to eat any food I want. I have the trioble IE book and I followed their advice about buying your previous binge foods and letting yourself eat when you are hungry and stop when you are full. I have also read overfed head which I found to be really helpful as well.
I guess I was looking at that website because I wanted justification for the amount I
have been eating some days. But since I was hungry for that amount, and didn't overeat past fullness than clearly my body is the only justification I need, not some website!
Last edited by Koalifornia21; 04-17-2014 at 11:05 AM.
Well I do eat healthy about 80% of the time but not for the sake of health. I buy fresh fruits, vegetables, grains, and meats. I do a lot of my own cooking. I don't do it to be healthy but because it's more economical and tasty. I'm tired of apologizing to the world because I'm fat. I'm acutely aware at all times that I am obese. I don't like eating out at restaurants or eating in front of people because of that. I was with my last boyfriend for four months and I never ate with him. Ever. That's ridiculous! The other day I ordered a small soda at a cafe to go with my lamb sandwich. They gave me one of those giant 32oz cups full of soda. I almost had a panic attack sitting there with a giant soda in front of me thinking about all the people who would be judging me for drinking that thing even though I hadn't even ordered it. The world didn't end, even though I was shaking like a leaf and ate more quickly than I would have normally so I could leave.
I'm so sick of caring what other people think about me. I want to live my life and not give a f**k about what goes on in other peoples' heads. I've spent the last several years not eating in public or only eating super healthy food and then binging in secret. No more. I'm going to eat what I want- at first this meant eating my binge foods. Then I realized that I don't even like them that much. I really don't like orange chicken and mountain dew. I prefer runny cheeses, pickles, and fresh sourdough bread. I like fresh fruits and vegetables. I'd rather have a small piece of filet mignon than a bagful of dollar menu items from mcdonald's hastily eaten in my car on the drive home. I eat what tastes good and what makes me feel good. Sometimes that's a donut and sometimes it's fruit and greek yogurt. What's important is that it's what I want, not what anybody else thinks I should eat.
Your pouring out is brave and has to be a start in the right direction. What good can the guilt and shame possibly do. Maybe something like that coaching thing I just found might help establishing the right kind of basis for the relationship with food is the first step and as your confidence with eating consistently in a comfortable way will provide a basis for the self confidence to work on the other social issues.
I wish you peace and the happiness and a path forward you so surely deserve in the many years ahead. This is the time to get to the bottom of it once and for all.
I'm so sick of caring what other people think about me. I want to live my life and not give a f**k about what goes on in other peoples' heads.
I remember back when I was much younger and feeling the very same way, Locke.
This is probably not much help, but I just wanted to let you know that the older you get, the less you care about what other people think about you. I think age, more than anything else, does this for you.
I used to agonize over what people thought about me. Now, I could not care less. I know people younger than me who have gotten to that stage much earlier than I did. I really noticed myself changing in this regard around age 40 or so, but each year brings with it less and less concern about how others perceive you. I guess that's why you see all these little old ladies (and men too) just speaking their minds. When I was younger I just thought it was a form of dementia - I mean, why would they say such outlandish things? But nope, it's just them not giving a d**n about what other people think.
And the saddest thing of all is when I see people my age (and older) who still DO care - and care deeply - what other people think of them. And then live their lives accordingly.
I'm grateful to have you ladies around.
